Tuscumbia High School - Memories Yearbook (Tuscumbia, MO)

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Tourist abroad fpointing to menul: Waiter, bring me some of this. Waiter: Sir, the orchestra is now playing it. Journeyman: Didn't I tell you to notice when the glue boiled over. Apprentice: I did: it was at 3 o'clock. ll Sergeant: Why is it important not to lose your head in an attack? Recruit: Because that would leave no place to put the helmet. Old lady Qwitnessing tug-of war for the first timej: Wouldn't it be simpler, dear, for them to get a knife and cut it? Geology Professor: What kind of rock is this? Student: Oh! I just take it for granite. Patient fin doctor's waiting roomy: How do you do? Second Patient: So, so. l'm aching from neuritis. First Patient: Glad to meet you. l'm Mendelbaum from Chicago. Did you know Shakespeare de- voted one of his plays to a dog? No, which one? His play about Hamlet, the great Dane. Mother: Why were you kept in after school today, Junior? Junior: The teacher told us to write an essay on 'The Results of Laziness' and I turned in a blank sheet of paper. Why are the works on Chaucer and Dickens called classics? Because they are enough to make any class sick. One student: I-low did your article on perpetual motion turn out? Second student: it's a suc- cess. Every time I give it to the teacher it always comes back. Officer Qvery angryl: Not a man in this division will be given liberty this afternoon. Voice: Give me liberty or give me death. Officer: Who said that? Voice: Patrick Henry. Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address ? ' ' No. I didn't know he lived there. He was earnestly but prosily orating at the audience. I want reform: I want housing reform: I want educational reform: I want-- And said a bored voice in the audience: Chloroform. J im: Yep, the engagement is 4 off--she won't marry me. Joe: Why's' that? Didn't you tell her about your rich uncle? Jim: I sure did. Now she's my aunt. Jones: l've come to pay that bill l've owed you for so long. That letter you wrote me would get money out of a stone. How did you ever think it up? Creditor: I didn't. I selected the best parts from letters my son sends me from co11ege. Mother: Another bite like that and you will have to leave the table. Hungry Boy: Another bite like that and I'1l be through. Bookkeeper: I'll have to have a raise. There are three other companies after me. Boss: Is that so? What com- panies ? Bookkeeper: Light, phone, and water. Sign on the student's door: If I am studying when you enter, wake me up. Teacher: How many sexes are there? Student: Three. The male sex, the female sex, and the insects.

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