Turlock High School - Alert Yearbook (Turlock, CA)

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The dancing, reveling crowd gave no heed but continued its sporting behind the barred gates of the palace. Lo! The rich tapestries concealing the great magnihcent entertainment platform were drawn from their hang- ings and thrown wantonly into the blaze within the collossal fireplace. The crowd without the gates growled omniously at this wasteful destruction of their stolen wealth. Galloping out upon the entertainment platform mounted upon a swift alligator came the Court Fool, Arthur Thompson, clad in outlandish cow- boy costume. The appearance of the superb Figure of the clown caused liendish glee among the ladies of the Court, and Lady Hazelle Arnold suc- combed to hysteria. Peggy Clark, her maid, summoned the aid of the Court Surgeon, liarthol Pearce, who found necessary an operation of the Simplex Sine-Cura. Later the case was discovered to be super-compi:und artio- tom si irinm. The blare from the trumpets of the two smartly dressed l-leralds, Kellis Grigsby and Eussebio Ballogdajon proclaimed the beginning' of the next number of the entertainment. Elvah Helfrich, Dorothy Brown. Clesta Con- ner, and Evangeline Carlson, appeared clad in iron tights and rendered Chinese ballads in accompaniment to their inspiring dances. Bernice Rus- sell supplemented this troop with a toe dance on snow shoes. Sheldon Decker, commissioner of the foot and mouth disease, applaud- ed these demonstrations so vigorously that he sustained a broken wrist. This greatly amused the grave dignified judge and Counselor to the Emperor, il. Franklin Carlson to such an extent that he was only able to control his emotions by the consumption of large quantities of Oakdale grape juice served throughout the Court by the official bootlegger, the opulent NN-'ayne johnson. The virtual slave and devoted wife of the boot- legger, the once beautiful maiden known universally as Beatrice Fiorini, was aghast at the sight of her husband swilling the palace floors with the price- less nectar. The Court hounds greatly delighted in this, and created quite a spectacle in their resulting inebriated condition. At this moment a stone was hurled from the crowd watching from without. The stone glanced lightly from the Emperor's broad shoulder and smote llflinnie Halvorsen, a lady in attendance, full on the back ol the neck. Angelina Dias, under the supervision of the mighty conspirator f'lohenthal, endeavored by telepathy to calm the Monarch, as this action on thc part of the crowd was premature and threatened to precipitate the campaign of the conspirators before the opportune hour. But the enraged ruler would listen to none and ordered his Sergeant of the guards, Glenn Leedom, to disperse the crowd. This instilled great fear in the hearts of the kitchen maids, Vlfinona johnson, Oma Lawson and Alice Moberg for the safety of the young guardsmen. ,The chambermaids, Ruby Morrisson and Bernice Martin, had of late been slighted by the gal- lant Sergeant, and upon hearing the Emperor's command went straightway to the den of the Devil Vlforshiper, Paul Thomas, and enlisted his aid in an attempt to bring ill luck to the brave guardsman. Betty Olivas later heard I Page 281

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I inaugurated to this office because of her peculiar power to produce within the victims heart, by gazing into his eyes luringly. a mysterious liquid. The properties of this liquid inevitably caused death and in some cases the process was so violent and the shock So great that the heart would burst. in the case oi the execution, that of Thomas fVlYil'lCIl, the he-art upon inspec- tion was found lodged securely in the throat of the deceased. O'Brien had been sentenced because of his irresponsibility in executing his duties as submarine traffic and speed regulator in the Pacific. His olliice was refilled by the appointment of Morris Yule. Hut now, once more vague rumors of trouble and dissatisfaction with the government were drifting through the Empire which by this time in- cluded the Hawaiian Islands and the Philippines. The tiny isle of Yap had strongly resisted incorporation into the Empire. A large native band of war-like Amazons, led by their savage queen, Sylvia Brier, had squelched every attempted conquest. As the story runs, Emperor jackson was becoming a very dogmatic ruler. Doris johnson, one of the prominent ladies of the Court, success- fully played upon his atlections and demanded that he eke from the overly taxed subjects additional bullion to supply her with costly jewels. l'ondering over this condition of ailairs and the deplorable effects upon the people of the Empire. 'llheodore l-lohenthal, with his small band of conspirators, sat in the wretched cubby-hole at the rear of Benard's pool hall. The time has at last come, hoarsely whispered llohenthal, as he arose to address the small band. XYe are prepared to strike and rid our blessed land of the unwarranted curse of taxation. XVe then can afford l.ncky Strikes. lYell saidf quoth the sincere lYilliam Barmore, one of the foremost conspirators. But we must beware the frightful Cooks' Secret Service. 'llhe mighty and formidable Barricklow has under her command a clever agent in Edna Oliver. XX'e must beware, friends, beware. Evelyn Larson tinished an inaudible conversation with her friend and colleague, Alice .Xhlbergg and arose. Friends and fellow-liberatorsf' she began with great feeling. Let us disband to our posts and carry out the plans which we have formulated. Aye, chanted the group, and one by one they passed through the small back door into the alley and the still, black night----A. 'llhere was great merry-making and feasting in the palace of the Emperor. Outside the gates the hungry populace viewed the festivities lX ith a hungry snarl a wretched old woman dressed in rags. Olga Swanson, pounced upon a small mouse which had strayed too far from its lair and devoured it with rapidity before those standing near could seize it from her. .N great commotion was heard on the outskirts of the crowd and a large group headed by the Heet-looted Astrid Delbon dashed in pursuit of a scrawny kitten. Everett Rowley foully tripped her and captured the prey himself. It was then that the real chase began. I Page 27 QI

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of this and reported to the Emperor who immediately ordered that the unfortunate maids' heads be clipped off as pa1't of the entertainment for the evening. Following this diversion was announced the entrance of the Court's elaborately dressed choir of female voices composed of Ethel Gilliland, a sorrowful maiden moping because of her inability to vamp the Emperor, Fern Norvel, an ex-fat lady of Barnum and Bailey's, Ione Rapp and Vivienne Service, a prize vaudeville team, and a piquant little country lass, Dorothy Salmon, who had been heard singing love songs to a peasant yokel, Elbert Smith, and immediately confiscated for the choir and held there, thereafter, even against her will. This splendid choir, led by Bernice Sheld, in diverse keys voiced to the Court and all who could hear its obvious lack of a certain fruit. '- The choir soon wore itself out and the feasting was resumed with intensified spirit. An old toothless bard with the name, Steele, inlaid on a battered seven string lyre, presented himself from an obscured corner and began singing in a plaintive monotone weird tales of an ancient domination of the land by Spain. Slowly the bard edged closer and closer to the un- suspecting Emperor, and suddenly with a hateful scream he threw himself upon the Monarch and embedded a long slim steel blade in his back. The die was cast! All was immediately a howling tumult. The guards pumped lead into the writhing body of the old bard. Cannons at this moment sounded without the palace and high explosive and gaseous shells broke into the rooms! The revolt was started! The work of the conspirators begun!! The United States National Museum had made a striking discovery. A committee was established to excavate in California among some odd ruins which were found buried in the vicinity of what was known in ancient days as Delhi. Entrenched on the bank of what appeared to be a canal, thirty feet below the surface which at one time was probably used for irri- gational puruposes, were found the stolid foundations of an ancient palace. The Committee came upon a bronze plpate which seemed at one time to have marked the tomb of some great and renowned ancient. On it were engraved in odd unfamiliar letters, Ruth Bergundahl awarded by His Majesty the Emperor Robert Lamar I the lirst degree in Literature, l973.', The plate was polished and placed in a glass case in the Museum where the people of the fortieth century passed and repassed it, deciphering its uncanny inscription with awe. DICK STEELE '24. I Page 291