Turlock High School - Alert Yearbook (Turlock, CA)

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ance. I found her clinging desperately to her snag line. This per- plexed me somewhat for I could not see how she could have caught a large fish on that line. Indeed, I did not see how she could have caught any kind of fish. The line was perfectly stationary where it entered the water, close to one of the piles. I began to be suspicious. My suspicions faded, however, when I tugged on the line. I choked. VYhen I regained enough -of my composure to warrant speaking, I remarked that, by skillfully neglecting her line, she had managed to implant fifty cents in a thankless pile which was absolutely useless as a substitute for fish. My aunt, after thanking me quite coldly for the information, launched out on a general tirade against the unman- nerly actions of young boys, and wound up by saying that it wasn't her fault that the line got tangled. Here she paused as though she expected me to press the chargeg but I had previously ascertained the absolute futility of arguing athwart a woman's willg and so I kept a discreet silence while I viciously broke off the snag line just at the gut which had borne the last hook. After my aunt had been re-equipped, I returned to my base and recommenced operations. I took off a two and one half pound laddie, then I turned my attention to my snag line. I found that, during my absence, it had drifted around and caught in something. I gave a savage pull, calculated to break the line into several million pieces. But no. The object to which my line had become attached, yielded. My hopes soared as I carefully hauled in. When the object reached the surface, I gazed upon the battered remains of an erstwhile milk bucket filled with mud and water and the gathered rubbish of several decades. I marveled at the strength of my line. Very gingerly I worked the bucket up to within two feet of the pier. I leaned down to grasp it. just as my hand touched the rim, the line broke. I was intensely chagrined. I resolved never to fish with a snag line again even were I starving. I had about made up my mind never to come fishing again CI had long since formed a resolution never to come with womenj, when my cousin, that evil messenger, informed me that the school teacher, being very much absorbed in a debate upon the relative lengths of recesses, had indulgently allowed a fish to kidnap her pole and that even now the fish and the pole were under- neath the pier on their way to the opposite side. I had become inured to the silly flagrant foibles of my female torturers and I took this added blow without a word of remonstrance. To make a long story short, I was obliged to descend one of the piles to rescue a bamboo pole, minus the top section and all of the line. at the expense of great injury to my trousers and my personal feelings, physical and otherwise. It was getting along about ten o'clock when I finished my role as 18

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did not hear my aunt ordering my cousin to take my line while I went up the pier to put out my aunt's lines. A My cousin did not realize what my actions indicated, for she reached over my shoulder and forcibly extracted the pole from my hands. Such a proceeding would make even a' saint swear backwardsig and I am far from being a saint. Even so, what I felt like saying would have dried up the Indian Oceang what I did say would have burnt the paint off a battleship. My dear aunt threatened to tell my father on meg but as I remembered what I had heard early in the morning, I dismissed that contingency with a smile. Otherwise I think that I should be inclined to view su.h a proceeding with sus- picion as my father is quite old fashioned in some of his notions. VVhen I finally got them all settled, each with a snag line and a halibut pole, I made my way back to my cousin. A great ruin stared at me, My line was entangled in the firm embrace of an absent neighbor'sg and my cousin was crying over a, pin prick which she had received. lVhen I saw that mess, I said not a word, but I felt like an old.Christian martyr as I set feverishly to work to untangle the muddle before our neighbor should return. I knew very well what he would sayg and I knew also, that he would not say it in a very complimentary or a very soft tone of voice. I have untangled some very badly muddled up fishing lines in my day, but I never have seen the equal of the one my cousin made that day. VVomen are singularly adept and skilled in the art of tangling things. I begin strongly to suspect that that is the only thing 'which they can do with any degree of certainty and skill. I couldn't finish my work in time, and when my returned neighbor saw his line, I could tell that he was a fisherman who knew how to fish by what he said. VVhat he did not say was not worth saying. If there had been an officer around then, that man would most certainly have been taken up on the charge of disturbing the peace. After his initial out- burst, even though I used singular eloquence in clearing myself, con- versation lagged for some reason or other. H I breathed a great sigh of relief when we had at last separated our linesg and I sent up a fervent prayer that my cousin would turn her nose in some other direction than mine. My snag line I found to have attached itself firmly in a pile, andy that all the coaxing I could muster would not induce it to release its holdg so I applied the force of my arm and broke off all the hooks save one. I went over to the fishing supply store to get a new line. I was in hopes that I should be allowed a short space of time to myself in which to fishg but my hope was vain, In a very short while, my cousin came running down the pier, crying that auntie had caught a fish and that I was wanted immediately. I hurried anxiously and puzzledly to my aunt's assist- 17

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life saver and then the fishing was bad, After a few more unimportant incidents the like of which I shall leave to your imagination, we set out, much to my joy, for home. In summing up the results of the trip, I found the following: LOSSES A lot of good sleep and good humor for tiveg half of one inner tubeg three snag linesg top section of fishing poleg line, hooks and sinker for sameg part of one pair of trousers. GAINS One blowoutg bad humor for fiveg two halibutg one exceedingly well developed black eyeg sundry scratches upon my pedal extremities: 21 personal distaste for fishing with women. Moral: Cherchez la femmefl -BRUCE PEARSON, '20. Q Ai M Some High School IPS If you can keep your head, when all about you Are pretty girls, some making eyes at youg If you can think of them and do your lessons, And make allowance for their flirting toog If you can master love and mathematics, And treat these weighty subjects just the sameg If you agree with teachers when they tell you That dreams of love will never lead to fame 9 If you can calmly watch some other fellow Take home your girl because his car is newg If you can drive your Ford and keep from longing To break his head and own a Buick, toog If you can wish him joy, and really mean it, And say, Old boy, you're welcome to my girl g If you can gladly fill each blessed minute XVith only noble thoughts and deeds well doneg You're far too good for earth and all that's in it, XVhat's more, you'll be an angel soon, my son. HAROLD HJELM, '21. 19