Tulane University - Jambalaya Yearbook (New Orleans, LA)

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minnie mouse It is hard to characterize the thoroughly modern Minnie. You are rapidly changing your image from that of the villager-clad, weejun-shod, well-bred filly (sired by Who ' s Who out of Social Register). In accord with the changing trends of fashion, you, the Newcomb co-ed are now sporting faded blue jeans, tie dyed T-shirts (sans bra), and an occasional maxi- skirt: the midis never did quite make it on campus. The coiffure has remained basically unchanged: with the exception of an occasional shag, you still grow your mane long enough to be able to shake it in the breeze. Socially our young lady finds herself in quite a quandry. The frat man just isn ' t movmg swiftly enough to keep pace with her liberated attitudes. But that only leaves the REAL FREAKS! And everybody knows that in addition to being dirty, and smelly, and addicted. they are also victims of various unmentionable sexual diseases. This leaves you no alternative but to demean yourself on Friday and Saturday nights and to don your Dior originals and make the scene at the Top of the Mart (capitalism is really disgusting isn ' t it?). But after all. Mommy and Daddy didn ' t shell out 516,000 to have you graduate ringless. Another traumatic problem which confronts the new Newcombite, is the old sorority hang-up. Like it or not girls, it is still part of the ' status- quo ' . Thus even the girl who is trying desperately to become part of the •Now generation must subject herself to pangs of Rush. Although the emphasis is not quite as heavy (girls no longer transfer to LSU for a semester to pledge Chi Omega there, and the suicide attempts when the Kappa rejection list comes out are not quite as prevalent), the bidding is still very important. The sexual revolution is not quite the scene at Newcomb yet. Although it has been rumored that there has not been a virgin Newcomb grad since before the days of Sophie herself, Nancy cannot quite bring herself to fornicate on the quad. Drugs? Well. everybody is smoking now. I mean even some of the straight people engage m illicit marijuana activities. But hard dope? Do you think I would do that to My bod? They cant prove that the pill is medically harmful you know. Alas everybody knows that the Real world isn ' t very interested m what the Now generation is doing to change the Newcomb co-ed. After four years as a fashionable freak you will obviously have released all of your hostilities and surrender. You will take your place among the ranks of other educated ' housewives. P. GE 29

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the frat rat Like the other rats, you — the frat rat — have your own distinctive costume, which you believe is a signal flag to members of the opposite sex that you are the type of man who reads ■Playboy — i.e.. a real plastic swinger. From your fashion-collared pocket-stayed Gant shirts to your weejun boots. you are in the height of style. Those of you frats who are rich, but don ' t want to be particularly ostentatious or engage in conspicuous consumption, own only a regular Cutlass instead of a 442. Even so. it is equipped with a vinyl roof, black vinyl interior, a stereo tape deck with a four- speaker system, and bucket seats — with the middle hump covered by a pillow so you and your date can. thus neutralizing one of the most effective means of birth control today. To create your own rhythm, you can also use your variable-speed windshield wiper. Booze and boobs used to be your staple. On big outings, you were always ready with a bottle in the car as soon as your date got in. When fixing a date for one of your brothers, the greatest compliment you can pay a girl is, Like, man, you ' ll really dig her: she can drink me under the table. For you know you have to pour drink after drink down the almost-insatiable Newcomb gullet before you can hope for some ACTION. In the liberated Tulane of today though, grass has assumed all the mystique of a fifth of Scotch or Bourbon. Now when you pick up your date, you often just ask. ■ ' Hey. baby, ya ' wanna turn on? ' In one way or another though, you are still looking for your Southern Comfort. You sucker pledges into joining the fraternity because they pay the dues. They are greeted by the Face — the rush chairman with the $100,000 smile. Funny how all you big brothers, who promised the freshmen to get them dates and to tutor them, now either ignore them completely once they are pledged. or go to them on a Friday before a football game with a Hey, Sam, I PAGE 28 bet you know a lot of freshman girls in your classes. Your brothers are your real pals until they get the paddle into their hand, with a sadistic gleam to their eye — then watch out! When drunk though, you form your collective womb, and hold hands, and sing. and stomp through the beer sludge while your dates look on. Cute, isn ' t it? Your greatest possible pleasure is a football weekend. If you want to be true to your name as a frat rat. you must already be bombed at the pre-game cocktail party. The purpose of the football game itself is to get your date excited, to yell obscenities and to thereby parch your throat. And after the game there is the glorious dance, more appropriately called the ball. You have Playboy nudes on all four walls and your bible is the Frosh which comes out every year just in time for you to call up prospects to inquire. Say, do you look as neat as your picture? And would you like a date with a real live Frat Rat?

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mighty mouse Life is like a game of football. And football develops mature, responsible young men. That ' s why you need bed check and study hall. But all work and no play makes Jock a dull boy. You have two main recreational activities — machine smashing and queer bashing. Bystanders might be appalled at first to see you singlehandedly reduce a sparkling new candy machine into a squeaking hulk of junk before their very eyes. But to watch a wild beast in anger is a beautiful thing. The philosophic undertones of your actions are apparent moreover, to anyone who has studied the Luddite movement or the risings of the German Handwerker in 1848. You stand as the unsung hero of all those unable to cope in the increasingly technological, complex world of today. You use only your brute instincts for survival, bringing back ancient, fond memories of an earlier era. For college has taught you that intellectual means ineffectual. Isn ' t that what your whole education has been about? As for queer bashing, you define a queer as anyone who has long hair or who stands under six feet in height and who (horrors) doesn ' t care to work out with weights daily. Or who (worst of all) perhaps even likes classical music. It ' s enough to make a decent American sick. After all, there ' s nothing really wrong with roughing up a few queers. So roll on. Green Wave. Violence is as American as apple pie. It ' s not that football glorifies violence or ir-rat-ional solutions to your problems, whether you ' re blitzing in on defense or tossing the long bomb. It ' s not that football PAGE 30 overemphasizes blind obedience to your leader and fascistic discipline. But what ever happened to the old Statue of Liberty play? Actually, the campus has a disturbing ' tendency to lump you together with all the others who live on the upper floors of Sharp, whereas, you might not have all that much in common with your floormates. You might be in college to study primarily and to play sports only secondarily. You might even be a weekend hippie. But the campus does group all of you together, for they come into little contact with you, thinking that there are two entirely separate cultures living side by side, speaking separate languages and having little regard for each other. Thus, your language is thought to be marked by the extensive use of monosyllablization and by the use of a different system of morphemes and phonemes than the rest of the campus — in short, your speech is blunted, stunt6k:l, grunted. And the almost superhuman initiation rites intiSlx3(SKeiom prevent the plebeian student from ever being admitted into your august SQclety. And on youftpwtfyojj do jpbt care to mingle with the scholar. In facj you strangely enough 4 engage in foraging raids into the scholarly community only in January and May, for reasons asufi yet undetermined. Like uphill | Indisin tribes who annually raid.fj e lowlands in search of salt however, your raids are thought to be ; ' - caused by the need for sq. commodity you are ordinaril unable to naturally produce Mens sane in corpore sano be an excellent classical educational dictum, but the student sometimes feels it becomes ludicrous if the administration promotes a sound mind in an entirely separate and distinct group frorh those whose sound body it glorifies and immortaliz in the annals of sports history. Somehow, the student gets the feeling that, given a time door to ancient Greece, the University would not even try to retrieve Plato or Aristotle or Pericles but rather turn its sole attention to the 300 Spartans who held back the mmortals of Xerxes at Thermopoli; Imagine them with shoulder pads on, clad in the old olive and blue!