Tufts University - Jumbo Yearbook (Medford, MA)

Page 30 text:

Purveyors Of Postal Politesse This has been another triumphant year for Tufts Mail Services. Against considerable odds, the indefatigable pur¬ veyors of postal politesse have brought perfect service to dozens, perhaps scores of Tufts students (others have also been served). Although some early criticism was voiced regarding the delivery of mu¬ tilated packages, it was swiftly muted when the facts were explained by a spe¬ cial postal Public Relations team. Its dili¬ gent members were characterized by thick necks, monosyllabic conversation¬ al style, and a compellingly persuasive approach. In addition, the Service was made more user friendly by the introduction of High Tech mailboxes in most dorms. These units, designed in Belize and man¬ ufactured either Muscat or Oman (the distinction is unclear to all but the few highly trained), desertologiests are as¬ tonishingly advanced. Major characteris¬ tics include running water, strobe lights, and the patented Sensor for Envelope Exclusion (SEE) . This space age techno¬ logical wonder permits the box door to open when empty, and prevents such ac¬ cess when any article, regardless of shape, size, or national origin, inhabits the compartment. They system ' s pro¬ gram selectively permits, however, open¬ ing of the box when furry long-tailed animals or small poisonous creatures possessing an excess of four legs reside therein. Another important development in Tufts Mail System has been the impleta- tion of a Student Health Awareness Pro¬ gram. After careful calculation involving input from the Athletic Department, the Package Room was relocated to 572 Bos¬ ton Avenue. This move places the room 1.3 miles away from the nearest point on campus, thus facilitating the rapid diag¬ nosis of unhealthy Tufts students. Any package-receiver arriving at the Package Room looking disheveled, sickly, or out- of-breath is immediately placed on a sick bed. Later, as he or she is reviving. Health Services intervenes with exten¬ sive physical reconditioning. Taken as a whole, the remarkable per¬ formance of Tufts Mail Services is a shining example that, at least on the Tufts campus, Neither snow nor rain nor gloom of night keeps these couriers from the swift completion of their ap¬ pointed rounds. TOP: Although Tufts Mail Services have weathered many years, they ' re still going strong. That is, except for a few broken mailboxes. BOTTOM: Getting a letter from a friend can make your day, as these hopeful Houston residents know. Of course, one phone bill and it ' s all over. 28

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It ' s not a far walk from Lewis Hall (above) to Joey ' s, where some of us work and some of us play (below) If you feel energetic after your dining experience, you can take a hike to Teele Square to finish off your meal with some of Joey ' s finest ice cream. Sure no one really knows who owns the place (does Steve own Joey ' s? Does Joey own Joey ' s?, Do Joey and Steve know who owns Joey ' s?) but none¬ theless, the ice cream is super. While you are down there you should stop by and visit Tufts ' well loved dive, Jumbos. Jumbos isn ' t loved for its tacky interior design and for its killer kamakasis alone, but also for its famous Island Enter¬ tainer Parties where anything goes. Back on campus, students will soon be able to relax and party in the Elizabeth Van Huysen Mayer Student Center (thanks Liz!). Not only will this long awaited campus center reaffirm the downhill devotees loyal¬ ty, but it also may win over allies from their uphill allegiance. Of course, even a downhill person may concede the few drawbacks of living there. Walks on a winter day from Latin Way to Cabot Auditorium can take their toll. Then there is the quad (at least we don ' t have to fear decapitation by runaway Frisbees). Still, these things are more than overcome by advantages like easy access to the Tufts Arena Theater and Cohen Auditorium for plays and movies. On top of that, with the coming student center, life downhill will even get better!!

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Mom ' s Home Cooking It ' s Not I knew when I came to Tufts that no¬ body could cook as well as Mom. Well, that ' s not really true. Mom is not the world ' s greatest, but she ' s my mom and nobody including you, Julia Child, can outcook my mom. Anyway, once I ar¬ rived here, I was eating with my host advisor in a Tufts dining hall. I was sur¬ prised—the food wasn ' t all that bad. I thought I was going to enjoy eating here with good old Tufts Dining Ser¬ vices, TUDS for short. In fact, I was so impressed that I told my advisor so. Don ' t worry, he warned. It will get worse. So I keep going back, waiting for TUDS to prove him right. You know what? They never did, or maybe they did, but I never noticed. All that did hap¬ pen was that I continued to enjoy eating in the dining halls. I found it to be the cheapest way to treat a desirable lady to a meal. I mean, where else, aside from one ' s own kitchen, can you take a lady to dine on campus? Of course, the inad¬ equate wine list does present one with a dilemma of sorts. I ' m sure that you all know freshmen start on the twenty meal plan. I have heard it argued that this is a ripoff. Many freshmen, especially the lovely weight conscious ladies who fill the hallowed halls, don ' t eat twenty meals a week. If they do go to the dining hall, many of them just sit there and talk instead of eating. The dining hall presents us with a great opportunity to sit down and relax in an easy conversation with our fellow Tuftonians. Let ' s face it. Some of the most important world crises are dis¬ cussed over a leisurely cup of tea in a dining hall. These include such things as tomorrow ' s PS31 midterm and who you ' re going to set your roommate up with for screw-your-roomate. I will bet that all of you here have fond memories of Tufts dining halls. Carry them with you always, nurture them, and never forget the morning when your shaking hands dropped the tray and earned you a standing ovation. TOP: For the truly health-minded, Tufts offers the nutritional favorite, salad and Coke. MIDDLE: Mealtime gives students a time to relax and talk. Here Margot Fox and some of her friends enjoy the MacPhie cuisine. BOTTOM: After the meal, the dirty dishes go to the dishroom. Washing dishes at Tufts isn ' t one of the most pleasant jobs there is, but someone has to get the plates clean for the next round of roast beef au jus. 29