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Page 13 text:
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YEAR OF THE FESTER (Want-Ad Blues) The doors of East Hall closed with a sigh, and Norman Squid stood for a while on the asphalt, in a spot of peachy sunlight, hearing a far distant sound of a twanging electric guitar running up and down scales of vibrant rock; the music seems to cause the puffy white clouds to roll across the windy blue March sky, the campus to come alive thinking of Spring, and its people to venture forth like nervous groundhogs in the first warm sunlight. Norman s cratched his unshaven beard, disgruntled from his talk with Professor Braintree of the English Department. Under his arm was a short-story, a poem, and a 2-page something or other entitled The One-Hundred Inevitables. Braintree was a fat man with frosty hair and spectacles, whose smile looked as if he ' d be more at home in a barber shop. With a Ph.D. in Psychology besides, he ' s a potential threat if the conversation becomes too personal. He ' s been known to use his psychological scissors on personal writings of poor misguided fools like Norman who scribble and type up for Writing Class all the crazy mixed-up dreams they have after a good Saturday night. Your stories, Norman, show some fantastic imagination, but you ' re out in the clouds with it. Come back to earth. Write about real people with wild imaginations. Write about myself? My life on this boring campus? Why do you think I need fantasy? Try it. Let me see something every two weeks. The campus is boring because you, my friend, are boring. I ' ll write about writing, about being a writer, thought Norman, which is an awful hard thing to do walking down the steps to the Library when classes everywhere are letting out for lunch. Writing about being a writer is hard, too, if you don ' t know how to be one. Norman pondered this and walked it almost into the ground by the time he reached the steps to his house on Whiteplains Circle. On the front lawn Limping Crowe, an Indian friend who lived in Norman ' s house, was showing a few kids how to tie knots, and Bad-News Drizzle was reading Economics on the front porch, smoking a cigarette. Howdy-do said Bad-News. Looks like rain and more inflation. Bad news is no news to me. I ' m gonna go write a story about myself. And Norman bounded up the stairs to the third floor, to his peculiar little room next to the john. Dorothy ' s been here, the room ' s clean, the bed ' s made, and there ' s a fucking resume on the typewriter. A note says Norman — remember what your father said — no more money in june. You have to finish your resume. I ' ve typed your name and address, you do the rest. I also left a copy of the Help-Wanted Ads on your bed. See you ... And sure enough, it is typed, neatly Norman Q. Squid, 25 Whiteplains Circle, Slumberville, Ass. 02144 Norman felt inclined to add more biographical data, and he ended up adding paragraphs: 9
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