Trivoli Community High School - Memoir Yearbook (Trivoli, IL)

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T - -------- -as -------- Mother: Don't you think your suit is awful loud? Son: Never mind, mother, I'll put on a muffler. Teacher: What is the hardest part of Ancient History? Frank: The stone age period. Edgar gazed in wonder at the electric cab: Where is the mufller on that contraption? Music by Henry Ford. FOR SALE-One good car with piston rings: two rear wheels, one front spring. Has no fenders, seat of plank: burns lots of gas. Hard to crank. Carburetor busted half way through, engine missing, hits on two. Three years old, four in the spring, has shock absorbers and everything. Radiator busted, sure does leak. Differentials dry, you can hear it squeak. Ten spokes missing. Front all bent. Tires blowed out, ain't worth a cent. Got lots of speed, will run like the deuce. Burns either gas or tobacco juice. Tires all off, been run on the rim. But a darn good Ford for the shape it's in. Edgar: Could a Pope get married? Teacher: No, they were sinning if they did. Edgar: Gosh! I wouldn't want to be a Pope. n Edgar coming to class made up as if for the stage. Mr. Peters: Edgar, you are sure a well read man. Edgar: No, I'm not. Mr. Peters: Well, I meant red well. Velma: I heard the car chugf' Mother: No you didn't, the battery is in the kitchen. Brimfield fellow upon viewing our assembly: So this is Paris? Ruth K: Yes, come in and make yourself to home. Chet, to young man: Who is the pretty dame you have with you tonight? Young man Why, that is my wife. At a junior class meeting some suggested selling chances on the prettiest girl as a means of making money. The silverware is not like doctor's medicine-to be taken after each meal. My son, this is an age of specialists, is there anything you can do better than anyone else in the world? Yeth, thir, lisped Don B., I can read my own writing. Page One Hundred Two

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4 -------- -are -------+--- Pat and Mike tyou've heard 01' them beforej were riding in Mike's new car. They came to a railroad crossing. HHonk your horn, said Pat, Hhere eome's a trainf' You must not eat any more tonight, Willie, said his mother, don't you know you can't sleep on a full stomach? That's all right mother, replied the youngster, HI can sleep on my back.'l Mr. Wells received the following excuse: Dear Sir: please eggscuse johnnie. He didn't have but one pair of pants an' I kep him home to wash them, but Mrs. O'Toole's goat come and et them off the line and that out to eggscuse enuff, goodness nose. What's the shape of the earth 7 asked the teacher, calling sud- denly upon Eugene. Round How do you know it's round? All right, said Eugene, it's square then. I donyt want to start any argument. If a hoot and toot a Hottentot tot Be taught by a Hottentot tooter, Should the tooter get hot if the Hottentot tot Hoot and toot at the Hottentot tutor? Dear Clara, pardon me but I'm getting so forgetful! I proposed to you last night but really forgot whether you said 'yes' or 'no'. Dear Will, so glad to hear from you! I knew that I said Ano' to someone last night, but I had forgotten who it was. Dear Sir: I notice you have a vacancy for an organist and music teacher, either lady or gentleman, having been both for several years, I beg to apply for the position. Sergeant: VVhy haven't you shaved this morning? Atkins: Ain't I shaved? Well, you see Sergeant, there was a dozen of us using the same mirror and I must have shaved some other man. Seen in a Restaurant Don't make fun of your coffee. You may be old and weak yourself some day. Teacher: Richard, when the Pope got the right to give the ring and staff, what did the Emperor git? Richard: t'He got left out. Page One Hundred One

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GIRL WANTED TO COOK Jinks: I'm a man of few words. Smith: 'tShake! ! I'm married too. Him: Her Him: Her 'tWhat time is it? Ten to. Ten to what? Ten to your business. 'What is social service? Answer: Telling hair raising stories to a bald headed man. Teacher in Science Class: 'WVhat is salt? . ' h Freshie: t'StuH' that makes potatoes taste terrible without it. Farmers boasting in village inn: First: HI put up a scare crow and frightened the crows so none came for a year. Second: That's nothing. I put one in a potato field that terrified the birds so, one rascal crow brought back some potatoes that he stole the day before. M r. Sweet little Emily Rose, She was so tired That she sought repose. But a brother called Clard Put a tack in her chair, And sweet little Emily rose. There was a young lady named Min, Who was so exceedingly thin, That when she aswaded to drink lemonade, She slipped through the straw and fell in. Wells in geometry clasxz t'Now take your compass and draw a circle. Ira: Mr. Ira : Tl MI 1' . I l1aven't any compass. WV.: 'tUse a dollarf' Will you lend me one? W.: 'tVVait a minute and I'll Hnd you a compass. Once a year, newsboys of London are given an outing some place on the Thames river, where they can swim to their heart's content. As one little boy was getting into the river, his friend said: John- nie, you're pretty dirty !'l Yes, replied Johnnie, 'LI missed the train last year. Page One Hundred Three