Trivoli Community High School - Memoir Yearbook (Trivoli, IL)

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4 -------- -are -------+--- Pat and Mike tyou've heard 01' them beforej were riding in Mike's new car. They came to a railroad crossing. HHonk your horn, said Pat, Hhere eome's a trainf' You must not eat any more tonight, Willie, said his mother, don't you know you can't sleep on a full stomach? That's all right mother, replied the youngster, HI can sleep on my back.'l Mr. Wells received the following excuse: Dear Sir: please eggscuse johnnie. He didn't have but one pair of pants an' I kep him home to wash them, but Mrs. O'Toole's goat come and et them off the line and that out to eggscuse enuff, goodness nose. What's the shape of the earth 7 asked the teacher, calling sud- denly upon Eugene. Round How do you know it's round? All right, said Eugene, it's square then. I donyt want to start any argument. If a hoot and toot a Hottentot tot Be taught by a Hottentot tooter, Should the tooter get hot if the Hottentot tot Hoot and toot at the Hottentot tutor? Dear Clara, pardon me but I'm getting so forgetful! I proposed to you last night but really forgot whether you said 'yes' or 'no'. Dear Will, so glad to hear from you! I knew that I said Ano' to someone last night, but I had forgotten who it was. Dear Sir: I notice you have a vacancy for an organist and music teacher, either lady or gentleman, having been both for several years, I beg to apply for the position. Sergeant: VVhy haven't you shaved this morning? Atkins: Ain't I shaved? Well, you see Sergeant, there was a dozen of us using the same mirror and I must have shaved some other man. Seen in a Restaurant Don't make fun of your coffee. You may be old and weak yourself some day. Teacher: Richard, when the Pope got the right to give the ring and staff, what did the Emperor git? Richard: t'He got left out. Page One Hundred One

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Is it customary for a lady to take her shoes off before climbing the stairs late at night? Ask Miss Cornelius. English teacher: Who was Shakespeare's mother? Charles: Robert Arden. Mule in the barnyard, lazy and slick Boy with a pin on the end of a stick Sneaks up behind him slick as a mouse. Crepe on the door of the little boy's house. It is lucky some of the boys have two sweaters so' that one can be rented to their best lady-friend. She-What is your idea of a smart girl? He-One who can make her complexion taste as good as it looks. Gee, this coffee is hot. Put some cold cream in it. Paul: Why do old maids go to church early? Margaretta: I dunno. Paul: Because they want to be present when the hymns fhimsj are given out. A class of boys had been studying physicology and one day the master told them to write a composition on The Spine . Among the many papers sent in was the following: The spine is a bunch of bones that runs up and down the back and holds the ribs. The skull sits on one end and I sit on the other. Teacher fin natural history classjz Where is the home of the swallow? Little Boy: The home of the swallow is in the stummickf' Stranger: Where's your father? Youngsters Pa's out there in the hog pen. CStranger starts in that direction.J Youngster: And say, Pa's the one with a hat on. No Joke ' Two ears and but a single tongue, By nature's laws to man belong. The lesson she would teach is clear, Repeat but half of what you hear. Teacher: Give me the three principal parts of possum . James: Head, tail and feet. Page One Hundred

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T - -------- -as -------- Mother: Don't you think your suit is awful loud? Son: Never mind, mother, I'll put on a muffler. Teacher: What is the hardest part of Ancient History? Frank: The stone age period. Edgar gazed in wonder at the electric cab: Where is the mufller on that contraption? Music by Henry Ford. FOR SALE-One good car with piston rings: two rear wheels, one front spring. Has no fenders, seat of plank: burns lots of gas. Hard to crank. Carburetor busted half way through, engine missing, hits on two. Three years old, four in the spring, has shock absorbers and everything. Radiator busted, sure does leak. Differentials dry, you can hear it squeak. Ten spokes missing. Front all bent. Tires blowed out, ain't worth a cent. Got lots of speed, will run like the deuce. Burns either gas or tobacco juice. Tires all off, been run on the rim. But a darn good Ford for the shape it's in. Edgar: Could a Pope get married? Teacher: No, they were sinning if they did. Edgar: Gosh! I wouldn't want to be a Pope. n Edgar coming to class made up as if for the stage. Mr. Peters: Edgar, you are sure a well read man. Edgar: No, I'm not. Mr. Peters: Well, I meant red well. Velma: I heard the car chugf' Mother: No you didn't, the battery is in the kitchen. Brimfield fellow upon viewing our assembly: So this is Paris? Ruth K: Yes, come in and make yourself to home. Chet, to young man: Who is the pretty dame you have with you tonight? Young man Why, that is my wife. At a junior class meeting some suggested selling chances on the prettiest girl as a means of making money. The silverware is not like doctor's medicine-to be taken after each meal. My son, this is an age of specialists, is there anything you can do better than anyone else in the world? Yeth, thir, lisped Don B., I can read my own writing. Page One Hundred Two