Townsend Harris High School - Crimson Gold Yearbook (Flushing, NY)

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THE DAILY SCRIBE PERSONALS The Hon. Morris Sher, whose in- auguration as president of the United States was solemnized on March 4, will take a short trip to inspect the new summer White House at 45 Zero Avenue, North Pole. The President will leave Wasliington at noon, and will return at 6:30 P. M. to address the National Demopublican Club. lag It has just been discovered that Mr. Oscar Grossman, newly installed presi- dent of the Bank of North America, was one of our classmates in high school. It is strangethat this gentle- man, who has attained such phenom- enal success, should have been grad- uated from the same school. He maintains that the wonderful training he has received at Townsend Harris Hall was partly responsible for his speedy rise to fame. ..-ar... An innovation was created by our Executive in the choosing of his cab- inet this year. He combined the ten Secretary-ships which ordinarily com- prise the cabinet, and awarded the portfolio to Harold Frenchman, who distinguished himself at Townsend Harris as the Secretary Extraordin- ary. -,al Dr. Reuben Fine will explain, in an address to the International Society of Mathematicians n e x t Wednesday night, just why Professor Einstein didn't know what he was talking about. ,xl Prof. Maurice Zaken, the well- known dancing master, has bought out Arthur Murray, Ned Wayburn, and jack Blue, in what has been called the greatest merger in the history of the light fantastic. Prof. Zaken is now the acknowledge leader of the Terpsichorean world. Victor Feingold has just been elected President of the League of Nations. This position came as a re- sult of the 931 billion dollar war which he so cleverly prevented. -.:r- jerome Adler now has a position near the Editor of the New York Timer. Quite true, the proof-reader's desk is just across the hall. la... The thirty-first edition of Sidney Freidbergis Book of Poetry ap- peared yesterday. The first edition was printed in 1929, and copies are now bringing as much as thirty-eight cents apiece. fC0nlinued from Page Onej port. Inciclentally, the use of the ship was extended to the class by Herbert Davenport, owner of a large fleet of trans-Atlantic airships, and after whom the flagship, Graf Davenport is named. The meal was barely over when the giant dirigible slipped silently into its Paris hangar. The entire party then disembarked and painted the town red, so to speak. Those who used too much paint in the process were jailed for Bolshevism. A remarkable thing happened. Only one speech was made the entire eve- ning! This one person, who had bet- ter remain nameless for the present, rose to deliver an oration and stayed in that position for nearly four minutes when the enraged assemblage rose and forced him to stomach a plate of Nora's Baked Beans! The other speakers, fearing that they too might be inflicted with this terrible punish- ment, declined to say anything. On the way home, one of the play- ful boys stuck a pin in the gas bag of the dirigible, and deflated the whole thing. Luckily the Zeppelin was only two hundred miles from home, and coasted safely into port. And so to bed. Page Forty-Five

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THE DAILY SCRIBE BY THE OLD TIMER Upon a recent visit to Townsend Harris, I noticed that the whole order of things had changed. Evidently, the entire school has been attending the new course in Etiquette, even unto the office staff. This is the conversation I overheard between Mrs. Richter and a student who had been sent in for a pink card. MRS. RICHTER fcheerilyj: Good morning, sir! What can I do for you today? STUDENT: Why, Illl have some- thing in the way of a pink or a nile green card, if you don't mind. MRs. RICHTER fpulling out a huge ostentatious glass case, filled with a large assortment of different colored catdsj: It's really a pleasure to cater to such a frequent customer. To- day's specials ate: beige, ultra-marine, village schoolhouse, scarlet, horizon blue, and fawn brown. QProudlyj. Our collection includes every color both in and out of the rainbow. STUDENT: Let me see, your battle- ship gray cards are a bit off color, and really wouldn't be fit for the pocket of a fastidious Harrisite. Indeed, your biege assortment seems a little faded. Are you sure those canary yel- low cards are absolutely fresh? They look slightly wilted to me .... Really, you are an expert in these matters, Mrs. Richter, what would you sug- gest? MRS. RICHTER: Personally, I think that a sunset carmen card would be suitable for your character and per- sonalityf' STUDENT: To be perfectly frank with you, my dear, I think that your assortment is quite dull and uninspir- ing. MRS. RICHTER: You see, our budget has been so small these last few years that we haven't had the necessary money to spend for new and refreshing color combinations, and consequently, we must struggle along with this meagre supply from year to year. STUDENT: How true! How true! I think I'll deign to select an old- fashioned ultra-violet card, and not tary any longer in this drab poorly- ventilated office! MRS. RICHTER: Aclieu! Come again! fC0ntimzeri from Page Onej prived of his liberty by confinement in the jugge, and how instructors had brazenly deprivedhim of his property ftext-books and notesj during exams, without said due process of law. I-Ie also cited the example of one Mr. Begg who had the habit of appropri- ating private property without just compensation. In fact, it is rumored that he was accustomed to give no compensation whatever! This is not all, shouted the emin- ent jurist, straining his vocal cords to the breaking point, Hin Article I, Sec- tion 9, the Constitution declares that no bill of attainder shall be passed. A bill of attainderf he hastened to add, is a special act by which a per- son may be condemned to death, or to outlawry, or to banishment without the opportunity of defending himself which he would have in a court of law. And who does not know the fu- tility with which students try to defend themselves when punished by a zero? fwhich is fully as bad as the three things listed abovef' declared the great judge, ruminating over memories of his boyhood days. In conclusion, stated Chief jus- tice Whyman as he ended the short interview with a brief sweep of his capable hand, I intend to ask capital punishment for all teachers who vio- late this decision! Page Forty-Four

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