Townsend Harris High School - Crimson Gold Yearbook (Flushing, NY)

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dill' S l'ibQ Vol. VII. No. 20 May 30, 1959 New York MILLENIUM ATTAINED! Class Banquet Huge Success! Breaking all records for gaiety, thrills, and excitements the Thirtieth Reunion Banquet of the class of june '29 came to a hectic end early this morning. The breaking of dawn found the revelers widely scattered. Some reposed in the Paris jail-others lay at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean -and a few reached their respective homes in comparative safety. A unique idea was put into effect when it was decided to hold the fes- tivities aboard a Zeppelin crossing the Atlantic. This has many advantages over the old-fashioned 'lground ho- tels. It enables one to enjoy the beautiful scenery of the mid-Atlantic by moonlight, and it offers to the ad- venturously-inclined the opportunity of indulging in that rare sport called Zeppelin - Aquaplaningf' Several members of the class were lost in the pursuit of this rather dangerous form of recreation. Besides all this, by embarking on a trans-Atlantic airship, one can reach London or Paris in two or three hours. This proved inducement enough, and the Council voted unanimously to hold the Banquet on a Zeppelin. The celebration began when the diners sat down to a sumptuous meal in the main banquet hall of the Graf Daven- fC01zlimzed O72 Page Fozzrj . SCHOOLBOYS WIN LONG FIGHT WASHINGTON, May 30, 1959. In solemn and austere council to- day, the Supreme Court declared that the giving of zeros violates, and is in direct opposition to, the Constitution of the United States of America! Chief justice Whyman, in support- ing his decision, pointed to Amend- ment V of the Constitution, which provides that no person shall be held to answer for a capital or other in- famous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand jury, .... nor shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law, nor shall private property be taken .... without just compensation. As everybody knows, declared Mr. Whyman, students are being punished every day, by the inflictions of zeros, for various infamous crimes fsuch as not doing Homeworkj With- out being given a fair trial by a jury of their peers, as the Constitution so specifically prescribes. This must be stopped immediatelylu screamed the dignified Chief justice at the top of his well-trained lungs. Here His Honor paused and re- called how many times in his own High School career he had been de- fC0ntinzzed on Page Tbreej Page Forty-Two

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The M5311 nfihz Gliagp af 5111121929 'LL 5. ..- T f f i i - L :- L 3. 1 -. -Q L E i' li' 1. i . 2 ST Q 1- 1 2 b - ::. ... .- - .. . E Q 1- L f i - :- I f :' - ? 'L 1 i. 5 r :- hi- Q..- 1- 2 ., -N E .i- 2 ...L 3 L 2 si. - 5.- -1 2 i :- Z. 2 4, - - -? i 4sL-,. - + -- LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT Wfe, tbe Clan of jzfne, 1929, tbe jineft martyrf wbo erer endnred Townfend Harrier Hall for a period of tbree yearf, bazfing been proelaimed immnne from any formf of imbeeility and mental impotenee, exclnfive of tbe Jtandard Harrif t7Zjq1 77Zlfl6J', do bereby make, declare, and deliver to ozfr iznfortzinate benepeiariey, tbif, our laft will and tetta- ment, in tbe manner following: To Wir. Keleber: An enfyelopedia on tbe intelligence and beanty of woman, from tbe Amazoni to tbe Viennefe. To tbe Hygiene Department: A bandbook entiled How to Snceefffnlly and Grarefiilly Repreff Senior Wife- aereff' witb a eollaboration by Mr. Flynn .ftreffing tbe pxy- ebology of repartee, and alfo a dietionary of Mr, Flynn'.r im paffioned inooeationf. To Mr. Mendelmbn: An Ereetor Jet to be enjoyed dar- ing reeitatzonf. To Dr. Senftner.'Tbe treatife entitled NnrJing in tbe Higb Seboolf' We do bereby appoint Min famef df .fole executor and adminiftrator of tbefe beqneftr, Dr, Canfield baoing not yet attained bif legal age, mneb to oiir Jorrow. Codieil: To all tbofe wbo bane endeared tbemfelzfef to nf and wbo bane not been Jpeeijifally mentioned in tbe body of tbif document, and fnrtber, I0 tbat tbere may not be any difpate over tbe benifieenee of onr intentionf, we do bereby expreff witb ozir etiftomary oftentationfneff, onr gratitnde and appreeiation for tbeir patience and bindneu, I n Witneff Wbereof .' A f 'E bx.FX5.r ,Kita wade-W, i 0 ................ . ..Emxmgk,n'x ..... . -Z P5 I K ..... .... .......... . . . E ' 6 Q Business Manager 5 7 J X3 , : A ' Pit .cafczfiyh-.nz:l:a:v' ' Q' -.L ,. .5 5? E 1 4:2 ' x K, ..- .l i I:- ,, 'Q-- , .. dwfmnk W1 L 10 1' E 5 E ,. , I X J. M Q 114, Y 0 y gf v ix y 1 , W' . ggi 1 gf F52 1 ? ? . il P-P2315 . m I Page Pony-One

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THE DAILY SCRIBE EDITORIAL Tradition, custom, and the rules of the library have been disregarded! Not since 1928 has such a heinous crime been committed within these hallowed walls. This sort of thing should be stopped immediately. For only yesterday a student was caught reading a copy of the Mirro- graph News in the library! Not since the good old days when W. Arthur Schatteles and Sidney Eriedberg braz- enly, openly, and shamelessly walked into the library with copies of these tabloids under their arms, has such a horrible offence even been dreafneci of. It would be well to recall the details of that famous case. When the black- guards were caught red-handed with the yellow journals in their possession, they protested vainly that they were thinking of founding a newspaper called the Mirrograph News, and were only perusing the tabloids in an effort to get suggestions for their publica- tion. Needless to say, they were pun- ished to the fullest extent of the law. The Mirrograph News was heartily acclaimed as soon as it made its ap- pearance, but for a few years the nec- essary funds for making it a perma- nent institution were not forthcoming. It was not until 1937 that a million- aire alumnus of Townsend Harris Hall donated an amount sufficient to put the publication on a firm financial basis. It is a grim twist of fate which made the Mirrograph News, the paper which these two Pioneers of Personal Liberty founded, again play an im- portant part in a famous !'Library Ejection. The Daily Scribe hereby institutes a campaign for a strict cen- sorship of the material which students are allowed to read within the pre- cepts of the library. Let the Mirro- graph News and its like be banned! Only the Congressional Record must be allowed to enter. SILENCE! The silent library has at last become a reality! For nigh onto fifty years, Miss james has been endeavoring to attain this end -but only by ex- tremely crude methods, such as oral admonition to cease the exercising of larynxes, and, in extreme cases, the distribution of pink cards gratis. Only twenty-three years ago, the aid of science was enlisted. Since that memorable day, experimentation has been going on night and day, and finally the scientists have emerged from their laboratories, and disclosed the result of their investigations. This is the process whereby sound will be banished from the library. Be- fore entering students must undergo a rigorous examination for the elim- ination of all wheezes, coughs, colds, and sneezes. Thos who have any ail- ment whatsoever which would tend to disturb the peace, are not allowed to enter. Those students who have but minor illnesses are treated on the spot. Sometimes it is necessary for a patient to smoke a whole carload of Old Golds to eliminate a stubborn cough. When a student has received a card from the medical department, certify- ing that he is a perfect physical speci- men, and in the pink of condition, he is allowed to enter a second anteroom where he is thoroughly searched, and all his pockets, briefcases, etc., are sealed with the great seal of Town- send Harris Hall. He is then given his sound elim- inating apparatus. This consists of pneumatic shoes, a gag, and a sound- proof suit, similar to a diving suit, only a little different. All the books in the library are bound with rubber-7M inches thick, and are equipped with large parachutes, so that if they are dropped they will strike the pneumatic Hoot very gently and noiselessly. Page Forty-Three