Tottenville High School - Purple Parrot Yearbook (Staten Island, NY)

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lVIrs. Kiljoy told me to wait until they were about to leave and she would introduce me to Junior. I guess she didn't want me to see what I was in for until it was too late to back out. I watched Mrs. Kiljoy stand in front of the hall mirror and spray on enough perfume to drown an elephant, but then again if any self-respecting elephant were as big as lVIrs. Kiljoy he would go on a diet. Then Mr. Kiljoy came down. He was a meek looking man with a high shrill voice. With parents like this, it was hard to imagine what Junior would look like, but I found out. He was about three feet tall and wore great black-rimmed glasses that seemed to take up his whole face. He was reading a book called MEinstein's Theory of Relativityw aloud and holding it upside down at that. As soon as he heard the front door slam he came to life. He began innocently: 4'Tell me a storyf, At this moment I began to think all the rumors about HThe Fiendish Junior Kiljoyw were just idle gossip. Again I was Wrong. HAII right, Junior, Once upon a time there was a little girl-,I MI donlt like little girls. lVIake it a big boy,'7 Junior broke in. '4But I canit, Junior. Did you ever hear of a big boy called Little Red Riding Hood?,' At this moment Junior hit my big toe with a hammer. As I stood holding my foot and glaring at him, I noticed he was frothing at the mouth. I calmed him by suggesting: Hluetls play hide-and-go-seek. I should have known then what I was getting into. I hid my eyes and counted to 100, then I started hunting for little Junior. Fifteen minutes later there was still no trace of Junior and I had looked under, over, through, and next to practically everything in the house. Still fifteen more minutes passed and I still couldn't find Junior. I was beginning to think he was lost. A fiendish smile played at my lips as I thought: 'clVIaybe he ran out into the dark night and is even now being spirited away by bloodthirsty murderersfl Then I remembered I should be worried tbesides if he was missing I might not get paidj. Nervously I got an aspirin out of my purse and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. I opened the closet over the sink and got a glass. From the second shelf sprang Junior with his air rifle. HRAH-ah-ah-ah-ah I'm a Commando. 32

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Baby Slifer 19 zfemfm My name is Marlene. I am an average teen-ager with an average teen- age problem, money. If it weren't for my financial status this whole affair would not have happened. My girl friend, Marge, and I were sitting in her living room trying to think of some way to earn some money. We wanted to buy some school sweaters but simply didn't have enough money. Hwfelve tried running errands, mowing lawns and even washing dishes but no one seems to need our services. Besides, those jobs don't pay very much any way,', Marge lamented. No one even needs baby sitters any more, I added. Suddenly Marge smiled wickedly. In a moment I knew why, for she said, HI-Iow about the Kiljoys? They even had an ad in the paper for a baby- sitterf, Immediately I started for the door. You see no one wants to sit for the Kiljoys and if you knew Junior Kiljoy you would understand. Marge must have anticipated my reaction because she got to the door ahead of me. She stood there with her arms outstretched blocking my exit. She began talking fast. 6'I'll get the job for you and make the arrange- ments and we'll split fifty-fifty. MNOV' I said. HW7hat? she asked. t'NO!! This time I was even more definite in my reply. Marge began to use her persuasive methods: she really is persuasive. I finally gave in. I unwrapped my leg from around my neck as Marge removed her handcuffs. Then she ,phoned the Kiljoys. They must have wanted a night out pretty badly or they wanted to get out before I changed my mind, because they gave me a job that very night. ZX??XZ?Pi4?P? I arrived at the Kiljoys at eight oiclock. Mrs. Kiljoy greeted me with these cheering Words! ttlf Josah gives you any trouble send him to bed. He is a little devilish at timesf, This was the understatement of the last few centuries, as I was to find out. 31

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He startled me so that I dropped the glass on the floor, smashing it to bits, cut my linger picking it up and slipped on the freshly waxed floor as I went to get the broom and dust pan, bruising my personality in the bargain. Finally I pulled ,lunior out of the closet. You may conclude this para- graph Ior yourself as the details are too gory. A few hours later Mr. and Mrs. Kiljoy returned. Was little ,Iosah good? she asked while looking around for signs of a struggle. Hvliell he is now, I answered as I accepted my pay. I collected my things and started home with a gleam in my eye as I thought of ,lunior tied in a knot, his mouth gagged and nailed to the bedroom Wall. Itis things like this that do a woman a world oi good. Creation Once upon a windy day, As gazing ,cross a snowy field Full with the blooms of May, The dazzling horizon hit my eye And made me wonder . . . Who is it that made the birds to fly, The worms to creep, the flowers to grow? The hand of this creator Must be very sure, patiently slow. This artist with his colors bright, Brushes the shy, the sea, and land, And paints them with blues, greens, and celestial whites. And as the sun's rays shine and gleam, I know I'll never tire of this beautiful scene. B. BosLoW ELSIE BoDENscHATz P. H D. Unlimited Standing here in the front of the class, With a poetry book and yesterday's pass, She teaches us Shahespeareis Hamlet and Macbeth Or a poem about someone's inevitable death. She leads us in discussions about lie and lay, And hnows we'll forget it in only a day. HlVever use jargonfy she says to our class, H01' Till fail you, no less, as quick as a dashf' No Mrun-onsm and better not mahe uincompletes Or else your marks will certainly depletef' Through our tribulations and all of her trials, She'll be our best friend when we're on our last miles. BARBARA BosLoW 33