Tottenville High School - Purple Parrot Yearbook (Staten Island, NY)

Page 43 text:

WEATHER REPORT. iii:15R'+i i1iT'ffF TH E PROPH ET 3':fP.L':3:t VOL. 36 CUBIC FEET No.?3?2 ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN by Peggy Dunlop Dear Aunt Peggy: After receiving your advice as to mending my heart, I find that I've gotten nowhere fast. I have just returned from my boy- friend's funeral. I'm heart-broken. He died all of a sudden the other night from the cake you told me to bake. Now I think I have a new beau-the undertaker who buried poor Joe. What I wanted to know is-should I give him a cake, too-also-where can I buy Aunt Peggy's Candy? I couldn't get it anywhere. Please help mend my broken heart and hook that undertaker. Please-I'm desperate! Sincerely, M. E. Bochino Dear M. E.: You were extremely wise not to use your first name as you might be recognized, I recall your past letter and remember sending my advice. You recall I said, Feed your man lots of cake. If it doesn't work, arsenic you take. Then I told you, if arsenic doesn't work, Aunt Peggy's Candy will! Through some error, my letter was printed as follows: Feeding your man lots of ar- senic, baked in a cake, it's a very cute trick. We all make mistakes -never despair, my dear. Sincerely, Aunt Peggy ATTENTION, STOCK CAR RACERS! I ! Public Friend No. One, Walter Hatton, stock car magnate, today announced his donation of two millions of his countless millions to the establishment of the Hat- ton School of Mechanics and Stock Car Racing. He attributes his success financially to these vocations. LOST One tall, dark, and handsome Roller Derby star. Walks up- right, clean shaven, muscle bound, and just too dreamy for words. If found let Pat Moran know- she'd like to find him. THEATRE NEWS The opening of the new vaude- ville show, Old Timer's Revue, was proclaimed a success last night after the appearance of two comedians, Mike and Bill, known in private life as Michael McCor- mick and William Siersema. Their act consisted of such new jokes as, Why did the chicken cross the road, to get to the other side, and some renditions of the favorite songs such as Good- night Irene, which they are planning to revive. When asked after the show about their great success, they for the present. McKay, who was the first man to set foot on the Moon, started on his trip to Mars said that they owed it all to their friend and manager, Wild Bill Burns, who, they say, taught them all they know among literary cir- cles for his novel, How to Grad- uate and Like lt. A GREAT DAY FOR THE IRISH Courageous nurse, Nancy Ryan, was recently accredited for saving the lives of three women mission- aries, Lorraine Kent, Marilyn Unger, Carol Reis. The mission- aries, Miss Kent, head missionerg Miss Unger, head missionistg and Miss Reis, head missionister of the Bail Saiii, in deep Africa, were captured by the Bombo- Trombone Trive last Tuesday. Nurse Ryan bravely trailed the missionaries to the tribe head- quarters where Chief Polo-Rolo Popiniff found it a fair bargain to swap his captives for a carton of Carter's Little Silver Pills. All four women are resting comforta- bly in Hayview Sanatorium. by Peggy Dunlop ADVERTISEMENT Mademoiselle Shirley Matthes Announces the Granding Opening of her FRENCH TOE NAIL CLEANING SERVICE on Tuesday next ONLY during lunch STORE OWNER MAKES SAD DISCOVERY The new owner of the chain of Woolworthless Five St Dime stores, Patricia Spratlin, has just made the shocking and sad dis- covery that nothing in her stores costs five or ten cents. She in- tends to do something about it, when she untangles herself from the ribbons on the new ribbon counter in her Great Kills store. She claims she is making prog- ress, but her hands are still tied. BAILEY BLOWS TOP OF MODERN SCIENCE Mr. Alan Bailey, of the Ahlin- Bailey Science Foundation, has, this week, astounded Modern Science with his accurate the- ories on the habits and peculiari- ties of Chemistry. His partner, Harold Ahlin, received a severe shock, not only from Mr. Bailey's theories, but also from his ru- mored fiancee, Roller Derby star Pat Moran, Murph, who shocked him through the electric personality in her hair. Ahlin is famous, also, for the theories but his are on Staten Island electri- city. RESIGNATION ACCEPTED ? Miss Joan Gunther, gun moll of Martin Stallone, announced to- day that she was handing in her resignation. Mr. Stallone, who is head of the Bookie Association of T.H.S., has different ideas. He has just written a letter to Miss Gunther offering her a raise LEARN TO DANCE IN TWELVE DIF- FICULT LESSONS The Tip, Tap, Toe Dancing Academy Prop. Dorothy Knudsen Feet soaked after each lesson- free of charge.

Page 42 text:

I, Casiano Garcia, will, to Vivian Pennino and Ann Garcia, the power to get through high school. I, John Fox, will, to anybody, anything. I, Richard Ekstrand, will, to my friends in the lower terms, my high marks throughout the years. Ha! Hal I, Claire Dobo, will my whistle, to any girl who has the nerve to use it. We, Carole Dilgard and Georgia Dennis, will to any incoming freshman the ability to remain true friends for four years as we have done. I, Raymond Diaz, leave. I, Helen De Fusco, will to Marie Del Grosso and Elizabeth Horvalh the ability to eat lunch, do American History and gossip about him and still pass as I did. , I, Barbara Corson, will to Nancy and Yvonne the ability to get to school on time on THAT 103 bus. I, Virginia Blackwell, will to Georgia Mae Bonner, Loretta Blackwell and my niece, Priscilla Henry, my brown eyes, generous ways and four years in Tottenville High School. I, George Bille, will to Don Richards and Andy Mazureck the fun ? of getting up in the morning and going to school, especially Monday morning. I, Ruth Heins, will to my cousin, Don Lewis all the fun I had in T.H.S. I, Nancy Ihnken, will to Louise Thomas and Malvina Baltrukouitz the pleasure of riding to school on the 'Rapid Transit for the next four years. I, Diane Kain, being of sound mind a11d body QI thinkj after four years, will to any poor freshman, the ability to pass three years of French. I, Lorraine Kent, being of almost sane mind, will to my sister Carole my place in the band and all the wrong notes that go with it.

Page 44 text:

A MILLION OR NOTHING That Rootin, Tootin' blues singer, Ginny Blackwell, is at it again. Ginny, alias Sugar Pie, wants a million dollars from the Higsby, Higsby, and Higsby Jr. Recording Company for a con- tract they have proposed to her. The contract calls for Ginny to sing the seventeenth verse of Rachmaninoff's Eleventh Sym- phony. Ginny says, That would be just wonderful. They want her to sing it from atop the flag pole on the Empire State Build- ing at 11:30 A.M. on the fourth of July. She said the whole thing is utterly absurd. She never rises until 12:30 P.M. THEY'RE FOR- EVER BLOWING BUBBLES The Misses Peggy Shrimp Skinner and Joyce Trouser-Low ing Russell have just made their debut at Oscar's Pickled Para- dise. The Misses Skinner and Russell, former students of T.H.S., have completed their professional courses in the Art of Bubble Dancing, and they are now mak- ing the most of it. MAYOR SPEAKS AT GRAND OPEN- ING OF SPORTS GOODS SHOP Opening next Thursday in Tott. is a new Sport Shop. The owner and manager, Calvin Brown, was honored with a visit and recitation from the mayor, Richard Beck. Included among the guest speakers was Police Commissioner Fred Beck- er, who thanked Brown, on behalf of the police force, for the leop- ard shirt he so generously do- nated. MAHARAJAHA PAYS VISIT TO UNITED STATES The rich Maharajaha, John Litz of Nemko, arrived last night on the steamship America. When asked what he thought of the U.S. all he could say was AAAA ??'?'? I!!! ,,,, ::::. He expects to be weighed in gold and jewels within the next few days. His chief counsellor and friend is Sire Richard Pecoraro, who pays all the Maharajaha's debts with diamond and ruby teeth. DIANE KAIN MAKES DEBUT Miss Diane Kain of 900 Spark Ave. made her debut last night at the Pork Club. She is a grad- uate of Tottenville High School and Bellevue Finishing School. .lust between us, they did a very good job of finishing her. HARVEST MOON WINNER OPENS SCHOOL Staten Island, N. Y.-Monday will be a big day for all on the Island. It will bring the grand opening of the HAUGHTON DANCING SCHOOL. Charley Haughton, founder of the school, will teach the rhumba. When asked why he would teach the rhumha only, Charley said, This comes naturally to a man because of his masculine swinging hips. His female instructor will be the Broadway star, Miss Barbara Deschau. During the grand open. ina Party on Monday, Miss De- schau will perform her famous routine of, 'Tm Forever Blowing Bubbles. Mr. Haughton has won the Harvest Moon Dance corn- Petition 30 times in succession. The school is expected to he a great success. RICHARD THE LION-HEARTEDN RETURNS The well-known explorer, Rich. ard Lion-hearted Ekstrand has just returned from his exploration of South Africa. While on his way in the rough African junge he killed four ele- phants with his slingshot, and strangled three tigers with his bare hands. When asked by the press for a comment, he replied, Aw gee whiz, it 'tweren't nothin'. . . ATTEND THE SCHOOL FOR NURSES' ASSISTANTS Owned and operated by the one and only-Barbara fFlorence Nightingalel Andersen. Her assistant is Dr. Thomas Walsh. THIS IS THE ONLY SCHOOL OF ITS KIND!!!!!! QUIGS DO IT AGAIN Last night at the Tottenville Arena the little Quigs did it again! They were victorious by a score of 98-1. Their opponents, Bob and all the little Nielsens, went home with very sad faces. Alma Quigley was high scorer for the Quigs with 95 points. After the game, Alma was asked how she managed to be so outstanding. She replied, blushing, Aw that ain't nothin'. You should see me when I'm in condition. .IOCKIES OPEN GATEWAY A new race track, The Gooey Gateway, has just been opened up by the two famous jockeys, Georgia Dennis and Carole Dil- gard. Such fine race horses as Icky and Sticky will race there. Shortly after this had been re- ported, the prospective owners announced that in the winter the track shall be flooded and there would be horse racing on skates. FAMOUS FRENCH ACTRESS IN TOTTENVILLE Babsy Deschaux, well known French actress, is now staying at the Greasy Towel Hotel, in Tot- tenville. Rumor about a romance between Miss Deschaux and Wil- liam Humphrey Bogarts whom she recently co-starred with in Gooey Kisses, were verified to- day when they were caught hold- ing hands in the Stadium's bal- cony. FOX, ENGI- NEERED BY TONY, WILL FIGHT FIRES Commissioner John Fox, for- mer chewing gum king, disclosed his intentions to stick to his new position as chief of the New York City Fire Department. His co- chief, Anthony Mazzella, who won fame by his ingenious en- gineering contraptions for which, he explains, There are no engi- neering needs, told this reporter that the only reason why they both would enjoy their jobs so much is because they always wanted to be firemen when they were young.