Tillsonburg District High School - Tatler Yearbook (Tillsonburg, Ontario Canada)

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Wife-fto a retired farmer who has moved to the cityj. Better get up, Pa, and get the furnace going. Farmer-No, sir! Might as well take. advantage of this city life and let the fire- men do it. tWhen a question is not understood. First Former-Pardon, sir, but I did not understand you. Second Former-Will you please repeat the question? Third Former-What, sir? Fourth Former--Huh? Fifth Former-Z-Z-Z-Z fsnorej. The sofa sagged in the centre:- The shades were pulled just so: The family had retired: The parlor lights burned low: There came a noise from the sofa: As the clock was striking two: And the student slammed her text book With a thankful, Well, I'm through! .l... Mr. Hay-Who is the oldest settler in the West? Violet Denys-The sun. Miss Field-Why does a chimney smoke? Bill Mackie-Because it can't chew. Miss Rock-If a man is six feet tall, how long are his legs? First Former-Long enough to reach the ground. Mr. Kirkwood-This law is called the Law of Gravitation and it is gravity that keeps objects on the earth. Ken. VVebster-What did people do be- fore they passed the Law of Gravitation? Mr. Hay-VVhat purpose does the Arctic serve? George Buckrell-It provides a home for the Eskimos. Mr. Sinclair, at the end of Chemistry class-Acetic acid is a strong-smelling acid. Here's a bottle of it, you might smell it be- fore you pass out. THE TATLER Census taker- How many in your fam- ily? NVoman- Five, me, the old man, our kid, the cow, and the cat. Census taker- What's your politics? VVoman- I'm Liberal, the old man's Con- servative, the kid's wet, the cow's dry, and the cat's a populist. Doug Eckel handed in the following as the principal parts of a Latin verb: Slippeo, slippers, falli, bumpum. The returned paper read: Fallio, failere, Hunci, suspendumf' Mr. Sinclair-Cto a misbehaving math studentj : Stand up! Math Student-Yes, sir. . Mr. Sinclair-Sit down! Math Student-Yes, sir. Mr. Sinclair-Stand up! Sit down! stand up! Sit down! Math Student-tYes, sirj 4. To J. Chambers In Grade XII there is a lad VVhose homework is done by his dad, He's crazy for sports Looks dandy in shorts And he's wild with the women, by gad. Walt Berko, XII. Dick Gibson-Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! i Bill Eichenberg-No doubt you could pass for one. In a mathematics class, Herb Horlick stands up to ask how to do one of the Alge- bra questions. Herb Horlick-Mr. Alexander, would you please tell me how to do number ten? Mr. Alexander-In that question you are supposed to make a diagram and mark the width X and the length 4X -1- S. Herb-Yes, sir, but that's the question about the cows. Miss Grieve-What are you looking at, Bill? Bill Newman-It's snowing. Miss Grieve-l-laven't you seen it snow before? Bill-Yes! but it was raining yesterday. 73

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UM Edited by Richard Rokeby, XIII The Grade 10 English class was studying the following passage from Evangeline: Dark and neglected locks overshadowed his brow, and a sadness Somewhat beyond his years on his face was legibly written, Gabriel was it, who, weary with waiting, unhappy and restless, Sought in the XVestern wilds oblivion of self and sorrow. Mrs. Barkman-XVhat did Gabriel intend to do? Don Crossett thurriedlyj-Comb his hair. Mr. Sinclair-Quote one of Dalton's 'atomic laws. Unus ex discipulis-The atom is invisible. Sonny-- Dad, what do you call a man who drives a car? Dad-ta pedestrianj: It all depends on how close he comes to me, my boy. Mr. Sinclair- Light from the sun travels at the rate of 186,000 miles per second. Isn't that a tremendous speed? Bill Franklin- Oh, I don't know. It's downhill all the way. I advise you, said the doctor to Ken. lNebster, to bury yourself in your work. Gulp! said Ken. And me a cement mixer. There are three sides to every story-his, yours, and the truth. Mr. Kirkwood- How does your head feel today? Bill Mackie- Very well, sir. Mr. Kirkwood- lt should. It should be as good as new-you've never used it l Tourist- XYhat a .quaint little village, this Straffordville. Truly one half the world doesn't know how the other lives. Andy Choma- Not-in this village. Not in this village ll' 72 Mr. Hay: If you got your hands on the ball in the middle of the field, what would you do? Pete Gibson: I'd give three cheers and go home. Mr. Hay: NVhy? Pete: Because if I ever got my hands on the ball on the field, it would be after the game had ended. Mr. Hay QDiscussing important inven- tions since 18501 : Can anyone think of any other outstanding developments in office gadgets? Cliff Russ: Secretaries Walt Berko: VVhat did you do in Latin while I was away? jim Jones: We studied 'Atlas Becomes a Mountainf or 'Atlas Grows Up'. Berko: Sounds interesting. Jones: Yes, he was quite a hillbilly. Overheard on a players' bus a few days after the heavy ice storm: Doug Eckel: 'Gosh! Look at all those hydro lines down. They'll probably have to put up new onesf' Bob McLennan: They should get Russ Mannellf' Doug: Why? Bob: He can string a line better than anyone I know. Jim: Did you hear about Miss Field? VValt: No, jim: She took to the air. XValt: Oh? jim: She has flu. Mr. Sinclair, demonstrating heat of im- pact, I'll hold this piece of copper on the anvil and when I nod my' head, you hit it with the hammer. I Mr. Hay-VVhat was the importance of the Boston Tea Party? Joyce P.-Everyone had to drink coffee. THE TATLER

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M U S C Edited by Elizabeth Simmons, X11 Music! Music! Music! Elizabeth Simmons, XII Today if a song strikes you as familiar, it is probably a classic with a different tempo and set to words, or it is the revival of a song written a few years ago. While we're on the subject of revision, is there anyone who hasn't felt a thrill hearing Tony Martin render There's No Tomorrow, the cur- rently popular version of the Italian love song O Sole Mio, or Vic Damone sing You're Breaking My Heart also translat- ed from Italian? Also there are the instru- mentals such as Sabre Dance Boogie ar- ranged by Louis Musch for Freddy Martin and his Orchestra from Sabre Dance in the Gayne Ballet, and 12th Street Rag playedin jazz rhythm. NVho knows, maybe next year this song will be brought out again in its original state with the other rags and Dixie Land songs rapidly becom- ing popular. W'hile some song writers were busy re- writing, others have been going mad trying to think of different music. VVe thought they had reached their limit with Mule Train but that was before Frankie Laine introduced Cry of the NVild Goose. I Won- der if the composer read Call of the Wil- derness, writter by Gilbert Parker? Choice of music seems to be reverting to the type played about two decades ago. If this continues, in about a century people will be doing the minuet and waltz again in swirling elaborate robes. .M-.0-M. Musical Quiz . - l. What does one need to unlock a door? Z. VVhat does one do with a tape-line? 3. What should one write upon the re- ceipt of a gift? 4. VVhat word would describe the ,point of a pin? 5. What should one do when one is tired? 6. What waits for no one? 7. VVhat is the teaching faculty of the school sometimes called? 8. VVhat is the term given to the number of points made in a game? 9. What is likely to happen to an old car tire? 10. VVhat instrument is used for weighing? 74 Music, the Universal Language of Mankind The Tillsonburg Canadian Concert As- sociation had the above quotation on tl1e concert programs used in their first attempt to bring brilliant Canadian artists here. The series of concerts commenced with Howard Cable and his Canadian Symphonette. The concert auditorium, St. Paul's United Church, was filled to overflowing with music lovers. The concert was a pronounced suc- cess and Mr. Cable and the Symphonette were obliged to give three encores before the audience was satisfied. Tillsonburg was honoured by having Miss Evelyn Pasen, young Toronto mezzo- soprano, and Gordon Kushner, another noted Canadian artist, who was Miss I'asen's accompanist besides playing his own piano renditions. Both artists had great talent and pleasing personalities, necessary for real success. Halina Bilochetsky, thirteen-year-old prodigy of the violin, and Lawrence Felton, baritone, were the artists for the third con- cert. The violinist's ability was truly re- markable and Mr. Felton had a fine, impressive voice. For the fourth concert, Andrew MacMil- lan, baritone, and Miss Rachel Cavalho, pianist, favoured us with their magnificent artistry. In my opinion, the program was superb and ended much too soon. Their hard work and ability were evident throughout the performance. The concerts were really a success and it is hoped that there will be many more of them. They have brought genuine musical culture to many people who could only otherwise hear good music on the radio. Throughout the series of concerts, a num- ber of high school students ushered for the performances. VVe should like to see Till- sonburg District High School sponsoring concerts in their new auditorium in the near future. E.P.S. THE TATLER