Tillsonburg District High School - Tatler Yearbook (Tillsonburg, Ontario Canada)

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UM Edited by Richard Rokeby, XIII The Grade 10 English class was studying the following passage from Evangeline: Dark and neglected locks overshadowed his brow, and a sadness Somewhat beyond his years on his face was legibly written, Gabriel was it, who, weary with waiting, unhappy and restless, Sought in the XVestern wilds oblivion of self and sorrow. Mrs. Barkman-XVhat did Gabriel intend to do? Don Crossett thurriedlyj-Comb his hair. Mr. Sinclair-Quote one of Dalton's 'atomic laws. Unus ex discipulis-The atom is invisible. Sonny-- Dad, what do you call a man who drives a car? Dad-ta pedestrianj: It all depends on how close he comes to me, my boy. Mr. Sinclair- Light from the sun travels at the rate of 186,000 miles per second. Isn't that a tremendous speed? Bill Franklin- Oh, I don't know. It's downhill all the way. I advise you, said the doctor to Ken. lNebster, to bury yourself in your work. Gulp! said Ken. And me a cement mixer. There are three sides to every story-his, yours, and the truth. Mr. Kirkwood- How does your head feel today? Bill Mackie- Very well, sir. Mr. Kirkwood- lt should. It should be as good as new-you've never used it l Tourist- XYhat a .quaint little village, this Straffordville. Truly one half the world doesn't know how the other lives. Andy Choma- Not-in this village. Not in this village ll' 72 Mr. Hay: If you got your hands on the ball in the middle of the field, what would you do? Pete Gibson: I'd give three cheers and go home. Mr. Hay: NVhy? Pete: Because if I ever got my hands on the ball on the field, it would be after the game had ended. Mr. Hay QDiscussing important inven- tions since 18501 : Can anyone think of any other outstanding developments in office gadgets? Cliff Russ: Secretaries Walt Berko: VVhat did you do in Latin while I was away? jim Jones: We studied 'Atlas Becomes a Mountainf or 'Atlas Grows Up'. Berko: Sounds interesting. Jones: Yes, he was quite a hillbilly. Overheard on a players' bus a few days after the heavy ice storm: Doug Eckel: 'Gosh! Look at all those hydro lines down. They'll probably have to put up new onesf' Bob McLennan: They should get Russ Mannellf' Doug: Why? Bob: He can string a line better than anyone I know. Jim: Did you hear about Miss Field? VValt: No, jim: She took to the air. XValt: Oh? jim: She has flu. Mr. Sinclair, demonstrating heat of im- pact, I'll hold this piece of copper on the anvil and when I nod my' head, you hit it with the hammer. I Mr. Hay-VVhat was the importance of the Boston Tea Party? Joyce P.-Everyone had to drink coffee. THE TATLER

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Anniversary Edition ll A 1950-1960 Tillsonburg District TLER March 1960 Price 10 cents fhiglm cost of livingj Editor ................... Margaret Cooper Assistant ................. .......... J oyce I-libbert Managing Editor NVomen's Editor Sports Editor .................... Elizabeth Gibson Muriel Cooper Dorothy Helsdon Noted Local Orator Wins World Applause It has been announced that Miss Joyce llibbert has just been named most Out- standing orator and journalist in the Eng- lish-speaking countries. VVe all remem- ber her debut here in our own little town. ' , I ' in L, fgit U A7 4 I .l , . . In , 3 z! 5, -AQ-l I 'U ln U '71 aft!! lvl ' 4 ll , N ...,. f aigtiyf-if The Marriage Bureau by Jack Bell Latest to obtain marriage licences have been Miss Lois Brinn, the future bride of Mr. Vllilliam Franklin, Mr. Donald Chalk who is taking as his bride Miss Jean Trickett, and Angela Nichols who is to be- come the charming wife of Mr. Garry Hor- lick. I Over The Teacups A by Irma Fazakas Laurel Agur has just returned from her position as a French interpreter at the Unit- ed Nations. Mr. james Martin has recently received first prize in speed typewriting. He can now do ten words a minute. Miss Gloria Haycock recently entertain- ed at her home on 221 Alexander Street. Present were Mr. Allin Sharp, designer of marcels for men, Dr. John Alexander, the THE TATLF-R noted dentist, and Mr. Leonard Libitz, the poor man's john D. Rockefeller. Vile have just received word that local dress designer Mary Lou Ryan has made good in New York with gowns modelled by Powers model Patricia Boughner. Miss Betty Burn, hostess at the Hotel D'Arlyngton, is planning a reception to wel- come home Steve Mayorcsak, the noted speed demon, who was recently reported lost in the Arctic. Personals Ella, come home. I need you. Raymond, Former T.D.l'l.S. Students Win Ovation At Carnegie Hall Mr. VVilliam Hilliker and Miss Elizabeth Gibson achieved world acclaim with their violin debut in Carnegie Hall recently. The Sick Room The Mayo Brothers of Rochester, Minn., recently arrived in town to review the case of Miss jean Anderson who was stricken with an acute attack of the giggles three months ago and has not stopped yet. Sports by john Garnham VVord has come from Switzerland that Dorothy Helsdon and Pat Grey captured the Women's Trophies at the recent Olymp- ics. A grand ovation is awaiting them here at home. Miscellaneous by Melba Garnham Miss Patricia Hillis announces the open- ing of Patty's Party Frocksf' Miss Lorene Bridge's Lorie's Little Lol- lipop candy store opens to-morrow at nine a.m. S355 Win 510,000 ! S553 Local boy, Jack Fish, after careful obser- vation, wins iBl0,000 in guessing which Cooper twin has the Phoni. Can YOU P ? ? 71

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Wife-fto a retired farmer who has moved to the cityj. Better get up, Pa, and get the furnace going. Farmer-No, sir! Might as well take. advantage of this city life and let the fire- men do it. tWhen a question is not understood. First Former-Pardon, sir, but I did not understand you. Second Former-Will you please repeat the question? Third Former-What, sir? Fourth Former--Huh? Fifth Former-Z-Z-Z-Z fsnorej. The sofa sagged in the centre:- The shades were pulled just so: The family had retired: The parlor lights burned low: There came a noise from the sofa: As the clock was striking two: And the student slammed her text book With a thankful, Well, I'm through! .l... Mr. Hay-Who is the oldest settler in the West? Violet Denys-The sun. Miss Field-Why does a chimney smoke? Bill Mackie-Because it can't chew. Miss Rock-If a man is six feet tall, how long are his legs? First Former-Long enough to reach the ground. Mr. Kirkwood-This law is called the Law of Gravitation and it is gravity that keeps objects on the earth. Ken. VVebster-What did people do be- fore they passed the Law of Gravitation? Mr. Hay-VVhat purpose does the Arctic serve? George Buckrell-It provides a home for the Eskimos. Mr. Sinclair, at the end of Chemistry class-Acetic acid is a strong-smelling acid. Here's a bottle of it, you might smell it be- fore you pass out. THE TATLER Census taker- How many in your fam- ily? NVoman- Five, me, the old man, our kid, the cow, and the cat. Census taker- What's your politics? VVoman- I'm Liberal, the old man's Con- servative, the kid's wet, the cow's dry, and the cat's a populist. Doug Eckel handed in the following as the principal parts of a Latin verb: Slippeo, slippers, falli, bumpum. The returned paper read: Fallio, failere, Hunci, suspendumf' Mr. Sinclair-Cto a misbehaving math studentj : Stand up! Math Student-Yes, sir. . Mr. Sinclair-Sit down! Math Student-Yes, sir. Mr. Sinclair-Stand up! Sit down! stand up! Sit down! Math Student-tYes, sirj 4. To J. Chambers In Grade XII there is a lad VVhose homework is done by his dad, He's crazy for sports Looks dandy in shorts And he's wild with the women, by gad. Walt Berko, XII. Dick Gibson-Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! i Bill Eichenberg-No doubt you could pass for one. In a mathematics class, Herb Horlick stands up to ask how to do one of the Alge- bra questions. Herb Horlick-Mr. Alexander, would you please tell me how to do number ten? Mr. Alexander-In that question you are supposed to make a diagram and mark the width X and the length 4X -1- S. Herb-Yes, sir, but that's the question about the cows. Miss Grieve-What are you looking at, Bill? Bill Newman-It's snowing. Miss Grieve-l-laven't you seen it snow before? Bill-Yes! but it was raining yesterday. 73