Tillsonburg District High School - Tatler Yearbook (Tillsonburg, Ontario Canada)

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Richard: Where are you going, Bill? Bill: Pm going to get my weekly 50c worth of tuberculosis stamps. Richard: What are they for? Bill: They are to help people with tuberculosis. I've been putting 50c worth a week on my chest for three years now and I haven't got T.B. yet. III III III III Ill These are actual statements from Grade XI History papers. Egypt was surrounded by dessert, so it was not disturbed. The Elysian Fields were the place of rest for souls of heroes and perfect people but it was not crowded. At twelve the Spartan boy's life be- came harder. He was taught to speak to the point. . All this was avoided fi.e. the severe Spartan trainingl if the boy was born a weakling, because if he was he was killed. At the age of twelve he entered a wresting school. fWas this a wrestling school or a resting school? If the latter, maybe that is the kind of school some Grade Eleveners think they are attend- ingll 'I IA WONDERS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF ..... Charlie Baldwin failed to participate in athletics. Jean Crosby came to school with her homework done. Clifford Russ succeeded in doing the Russ Simplifying Method in Algebra. Shirley Gracey didn't have last year's Physics to refer to. Joe Freund made the Grade. Wanda Heckford passed in History. Bob Farrell could understand Math. Bond Truefitt ever stopped annoying girls. Marion Nethercott was praised for her Math. mark. Bob Laur got to school thirty seconds before the last bell. Mary Demaiter failed in one subject. Ruth West was present every day for one week. Walter Berko ever gave a wrong answer. Mary Heyrman spoke out loud in His- tory or Physics class. Ramona Kisielis took P.T. at least three times every two weeks. Mary Lilly, XIA. 76 GRADE XII REPORTS G is for Gerhardt, our school Editor, R is for Ronald who faints on the floor, A is for Anita who's quiet and shy, D is for Donnie who makes Beattie sigh. E is for Eichenberg with not-so-small feet, T is for Toze who's little and neat, W is for Williams with wee tiny voice, E is for Everything, we haven't a choice. L is the Love we feel for our teachers, V is for Viviang she's one of God's crea- tures, E is for Everyone who takes Grade Twelve classes, The large and the small, the laddies and .... lasses! III 42 III HIS lk We hear Dick R0keby's favourite song is I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles. THE BOYS IN THE BACK ROOM .... IXC In IXC at the back of the room we find such personalities as Richard Lucas and Bill Mackie fa model student, ha! hail, Don Million, the brain from Stratford- ville, Bob Nagy, Jim Misner, the French fiend-and last, where he should be, Bob MacLennan. During the day, these gentle- men Cwe use the term loosely! are mostly quiet, except for nine periods. NINE DEE IXD's the class that is renowned. In the old Junior Lab. we'll all be found. We're full of mischief, full of glee, But we're always busy as a bee. Our ho1nework's doneg we're never late: There are no subjects that we hate. This is our story, think what you like, Miss Field still thinks we're quite all right. We hope! lk ill II! if III IXD has Wells, but no pumpsg a Taylor but no dressmakerg a June, but no Julyg a Jack, but no Jillg a Sergeant, but no colonel: a Sharp, but no fiat. FIRST FORM QUESTIONS 1. Why doesn't Mr. Hay write? 2. What ,does Mr. Taylor drive? 3. What does Mr. Moore work at? 4. Why don't we stay home during the week? CAnswers in our next issuej THE TATLER

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H U M 0 U R Edited by Mary Lou Grass, XIII If some of these jokes you have heard before, Just laugh agairi and dorl't get sore. For the world is large-good jokes are few And not everyone is as wise as you. lk ik if lk lk On being introduced to Ken Webster at the Hop, an out-of-town visitor remarked. I've heard about a great deal of you. Yk ik Ik Ik lk Miss Grieve: Iter, itineris, means march or journey: what is an itinerant worker? Third Former: One that walks to work. Ik lk Ik 1 ik Vernon: Why did you leave Shirley's house so early? Jack: We were sitting on the sofa and she turned out the light. Guess I can take a hint. lk lk Ik il if Alan Turner: I wish I could get a date with that new girl. Ken Ross fstanding outside the Tip Top Cleanersl: Why don't you get your pants pressed ? said Ken, pointing to a sign in the window Pants Pressed In- side. Alan: I want mine pressed on the out- side. ik lk ak ' Ik Ik Miss Howitt: What is that scratching noise I hear down there ? CSiIenceJ Miss Howitt: Dick, what are you doing down there? Dick: Blowing my nose! ik Ik Ik Ik ak An aeroplane mechanic was asking I-Izrold Price where he might secure a Jo . Harlod politely answered: Pm sure they could use a good aeroplane mechanic in the Dry Cleaners taking care of the hangers. ik ik wk lk ak Miss Grieve: What's the Latin word for cow? Ken Webster: Moo, ik lk lk lk ik Steve: What's a river horse ? Harold: A hypotenuse! THE TATLER Marguerite: What's a cock ? Jean: A. male hen. Ik Ik 8, if lk 'What did one casket say to the other casket? That you coffin ? wk lk lk lk lk One English period Mr. Taylor told the pupils of IXD to write an unusual story or poem. Then he went around to see how they were doing. When he came to Alan Turner he picked up Alan's book and read Alan's poem to the class. This is the poem Alan had written: The boy got on the railroad track, The train was coming fast. The boy got off the railroad track To let the train go past. Mr. Taylor told Alan that his poem was not about an unusual incident and to try again. Soon coming back to Alan, Mr. Taylor found Alan had written: The boy got ou the railroad track, The train was coming fast. ' The train got ojj' the railroad track To let the boy go past. ik ik Ik lk lk Who is the first person mentioned in the Bible? Chap. I. Ik ik Ik Sk Ik Miss Ostrander: If there are any stupid people in the room, stand up! CA pause, Bob MacLennan stands Miss Ostrander: What! Do you con- sider yourself stupid ? Bob: No, but I hated to see you stand- ing up all alone. Ik 4 lk il lk What turns without moving? Milk. fEditor's note: A slightly sour joke.J ik at Ik Ik lk How in the world do you make up your jokes ? I just sit down and laugh and then think backwards. 4- 4: ay 4- an Miss Ostrander: Since you are being dismissed early today, please go as quietly as you can in order not to wake up the other classes. up.J 75

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BRIEF ITEMS OF LOCAL INTEREST . . XA We are glad to welcome Ted Hayes back to XA from the world of business. We also extend a welcome to Bill Evanitski, who has come to Tillsonburg from Nova Scotia via Port Hope. ik if IF ik HI! One day while concentrating on History tlooking out of the windowj, I gazed around at my fellow students. I wondered what they would be doing fifteen years from now, say, about 1964 ...... TIME MARCHES ON! John Garnham, the serious student back in 1949. is a travelling salesman, and from what I hear he's doing an excellent job .... Olive Burnett is employed at Brown's Blowers of Bigger, Better, Bubblier Bubble Gum as a tester .... Quite a few of the YA students of '49 have taken upon themselves the strain, the hardship and the torture of being teachers: Irma Fazakas is teaching History in Alaska, while Jean Holman is parlez-ing francais as a French teacher in P.E.I .... In '49 Joyce Hibbert took up Art and for fifteen years she hasn't laid it down Cshe must be tired by this timell .... but someone said that she is beginning to act like a Mad artist -and she was always such a shy, quiet girl too! .... A fascinating sign in one of the downtown stores reads: Do you want to be the Hercules Type, the Gallant Knight, or the Dashing Romeo ?-If so, apply within for instruc- tions. Owned and operated by Roy Ingrahamf' .... If anyone is trying to get in touch with Irene Buskiewicz, please note: she has changed her name to Smith because she was beginning to get confused herself .... Congratulations to Pat Hillis: she has just become a Member of Parliament .... Misses Melba Garnham, Lois Brinn and Julia Fitch Cnot the shampoo familyj are featured singers at the New York Opera House- Time certainly changes everyone! .... Believe it or not, Jack Bell and Jack Fish are in show business g you've probably heard of them as Andy and Pandy and their dog Jack .... But enough of thisg let's get back to History! .... and that is your History assign- ment for next day, says Mr. Hay's gentle voice. THE TATLER Grade XA can't help being outstanding for their cleverness f?J, ambition Q??J, talent and consideration, for our form teacher is none other than Miss Grieve. Gloria Haycock, XA. ADRIFT by Robert Heckadon, XIB Here I was in a small raft, alone and forgotten by the world, in the middle of the Atlantic. It was morning, the sun was slowly rising from its bed with a bright warm feeling. For others it was just another day, but for me it was the beginning of an unforgettable experience. The clouds became tinted with a brilliant light as the sun rose higher into the skyg the water about me sparkled in the bright sunlight. There was no sound, save the sound of the waves as they beat upon the flimsy craft, tossing it to and fro. All that could be seen was sky and water, nothing but blue sky and bluish-green water. Suddenly I noticed the clouds begin to speed up their weary crossing of the sky: the waves in the distance grew bigger and strongerg the sky darkened as the sun disappeared behind a large cloud. Soon I could feel the strong wind against my body. As the waves drew nearer and nearer water began to slop over the edge of the raft. In a matter of minutes the mighty waves had reached my boat. The boat went up higher and sank deeper, and the water splashed onto my body and into my face. Every time the boat went down I was waiting for it to sink, never to rise again. Gradually the waves died down, and the sun poked its face past the cloud only to begin descending the west side of the sky. Hours passed, and slowly the sunlight be- came fainter as the sun started to sink on the western horizon. The clouds became tinted with bright colours which gradually became darker and finally died, leaving behind only the darkness of night and the thousands of stars which would die away the next morning. Where I came from or what the future holds for me can be supplied with but the reader's imagination. 77