Tillsonburg District High School - Tatler Yearbook (Tillsonburg, Ontario Canada)

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LATIN IS PUN CA translation of the italicized word will sound like the answer to each question.J 1. How will the teacher act fofnzorrow when my homework isn't done? Kcrasj 2. If this man works in the Navy, on what does he live? 3. What is the favourite chewing material of the farmer? 4. How do you feel when you find out whether you failed in Math.? 5. How do you feel zvhilc doing French? 6. I am fmfistakcw. The object shot from a bow is an .... ? 7. What will go wild if not properly driven? 8. What did the Roman s14'o1'd-,fighter say as he saw a lion eat a girl? 9. What soft drink would a farmer buy? Not pepsi-, not coca-, but .... ? 10. When a wife orders her husband to bring home his pay, what does he say? Who went to the game yesterday? . On what docs the dog lore to lie? What did the leader shoot while on his trip? 14. What is he going to do to us if his garden is ruined by us? 15. What can a Scotchman give to another person which brings grief to his heart as he does so? 11. 12 13. l HOW IS YOUR MYTHOLOGY AND ANCIENT HISTORY The name of a mythological or histor- ical character will fill in each of the blanks in the following couplets to produce a rhyme. We'll give you the first one. You'll find the correct answers .... somewhere in the book. 1. Cried Paris, There's really no tellin' With whom you'll encounter my KHelenJ. 2. To Paris came this question from-L, With whom, I ask, do you expect Yer ?!Y 3. If we are not careful the Trojans will slay us, Said Ulysses to his friendi. 4. Helen and her pa-in-law? Both found the Trojans did try 'em. 5. Said Remus, You can't blame him for bein' thus: A wolf brought-up brother--. THE TATLER 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 A bybrid, half-goat, the other half man, A nature-boy indeed was god-. Up through the Alps, with nary a stall, Who attacked Italy? Why 'twas--. 'Twas a shame Perseus didn't use a Toni on a dame whose name was--. She changed men to swine without mercy. 0 cruel was the heart of fair-. Hand me a Band-Aid or a bunch of lillies! I've been shot in the heel! cried-. There was a great writer we wish had got los'g He goes by the name of Cornelius-.. -- went out firing arrows: Two bits he wasn't shooting sparrows. By Grade XII. D.H-5- 5 LTING WHonest Mr. PH do my homework by W. Northgraves D 49

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5 L A N G U A G E S Edited by Richard Rokeby TRANSLATIONESE TranslationESE is no relation of ChinESE or JapanESE or SiamESEg it is rather a language common only to those would-be intellectuals who study a foreign language, be it Latin, Greek, French, or Hindustani, it makes no difference. It is the result of literal translation of for- eign idioms and forms, producing comical English constructions which are known only in those circles where foreign lan- guage students congregate. The following little-known tale may serve to acquaint you with this language: At that time a country different from ours was lived in by two people. Who were by name Little Red Riding Hood, caused by her custom of wearing, at many times, a headdress and feminine body garment coloured shiningly in red, and the other was, at the same time, her mother. From this side of the woods, which was both small and dense, their home could be seeng from thelother side of the same thing could be seen that in which the mother of the mother of the girl in red lived, who is born eighty years and is in ill-fortune as to health. At this age, Little Red Riding Hood, having been given by her mother to take to her grandmother on her arm in a basket, some cakes and cookies, set out through the woods, seeking the other side of that and her grandmother's small dwel- ling. Having entered the woods and not yet come through to the other side, she was met at that time by a wolf, very large and very fierce. At first, he was desirious of consuming completely on the spot the young girl and that on her arm in the basket. Having heard that she was in the act of making her way to the home of another, the wolf put aside from his mind the plan which he had adopted. But rather decided to defeat in respect to speed the girl's approach to the dwelling, and having eaten the lady of greater age, then to delay time for the arrival of the younger and to make repast of her also in the same way. The little girl having talked to the wolf proceeded on her journey and after a time arrived on the side of the woods at which place was located the dwelling to which she was seeking to come through to. 48 The wolf having arrived at a time earlier and her grandmother being already hidden in a box while the wolf disguised himself in respect to clothes to have great resemblance to her grandmother, Little Red Riding Hood finally came through to the house. Of which in the room for sleeping, she found what she perceived to be a resemblence to her grandmother, very aged. Who she believed had from the illness she endured over much suffered and changed. She said to her: Grandmother, how long you are in respect to ears! That one replied in manner awkward and squeaky: Yes, my dear, for the purpose of hearing you easier in respect to voice. Who said again: Grandmother, how large you are in respect to eyes! and was answered yet again, Yes, my dear, for the purpose of bringing you into sight more easily. Little Red Riding Hood finally replied in words: Grandmother, how sharp you are in respect to the mouth and the teeth therein! Yes, my dear, thus it is that I may find the eating of you less difficult. Having said these things, the wolf threw himself up from the bed with great speed, and while about to dine on her costumed in red was penetrated through the window, from a long barrel by many pieces, round in respect to shape, of lead in the middle of the eyes. Having thus arrived at his sudden de- parture, the hunter and the grandmother and her granddaughter dined on Z1 meal of both cookies and cakes. From all accounts from then forward, the persons of this narration lived both happily and longly.-Richard Rokeby, XII. The Roman legends which we language students have to translate often prove most uninteresting, but who can find any- thing dull I except the translationl about the three sisters who guarded Medusa's cave. They were complete and natural except for one thing. The three of them had one eye among them. We can't tell whether the eye was passed from socket to socket when used, or whether the eye was suspended on strings of nerves and muscles fastened to the foreheads of the three owners. However it was managed, it must have proved awkward. THE TATLER

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HEADACHES IN GREEK Cyrus, a younger brother of Artaxerxes, King of Persia, in 401 B.C. was ambitious to depose his brother. He employed a Greek army of ten thousand which en- gaged the Persian King at Cunaxa near Babylon. The battle was a Greek victory, but Cyrus was killed and later Clearchus and the other Greek generals were treacherously slain. Xenophon, who was not even a professional soldier but a writer, was chosen as one of the generals to lead the retreat through unfamiliar enemy country to Trebizond on the Black Sea. This extract, taken from Xenophon's account of the March of the Ten Thousand, the Anabasis finds the Greeks beginning to retreat under Clearchus across the ir- rigation ditches of the Tigris-Euphrates valley. And they found ditches full of water which they were not able to cross. There- fore they made bridges out of the palm trees which were in that country. And in this work Clearchus had command over the soldiersg in his left hand he had a spear, and in his right a rod. And if any- one seemed to him to be slacking, he would strike the slacker. He himself worked along with them, going into the mud. The result was that all were ashamed not to share in his zeal. At first, the younger men were ordered up for this work. But when they saw Clearchus busy, the older men too joined in the work. And proceeding on their way, they came to towns in which there was much grain and date-palm wine. This was sweet to drink, but was the cause of headaches. There, for the first time, the soldiers ate the date-palm cab- bages. And most of them marvelled at both the appearance and the sweetness of it. But this was a great cause of head- aches. ' B. Leatherdale, XII. ..,.. I f Julius Caesar I had met In some forgotten year, His trusty sword held in his hand, His pen behind his ear, I should have said, Look here, my friend, Fight if you must indeed, But don't write books about yourself Which no one wants to read. Harvey Smith, XII. 50 A Quoi Bon Entendre A quoi bon entendre Les oiseaux des bois? L'oiseau le plus tendre Chante dans ta voix. Que Dieu montre ou roile Les astres des cieum! La plus pure etoile Brille dans tes yeux. Qu'avril renouvelle Le jardin en fleur! La fleur la plus belle Fleurit dans ton coeur. Cet oisear de flamme, Cet astre du jour, Cette fleur de l'dme S'appelle L'amour. -Victor Hugo OF WHAT USE TO HEAR Of what avail is it now to hear The birds in the woods as they rejoice? A sweeter sound, by far more clear, Is not the bird's but the song of your voice. What matters it now if the heavens be clear, If God should conceal the stars of the skies? The purest stars made by God, my dear, Are not in the heavens, but in your eyes. What care I now if April renews The grassy slopes, the flowery crest? A fairer flower, if I were to choose, Blooms not in the garden, but in your breast. More beautiful voice than the birds that sing, More brilliant eyes than the stars above, A purer soul than the flowers of spring,- All these and more compose my love. Translation: Leone Turner, XIII. to Latin Is Pun Answers 2. Si 7. Trux 12. Amat 3. Quid 8. Gladiator 13. Dux 4. Num 9. Agri-cola 14. Suus 5. Dum 10. Iubet 15. Dolor 6. Erro 11. Heri Answers to Mythology Quiz . Hector . Priam . Romulus 2 6 3. Menelaus 7 4 8 5 9 . Pan 10. Achilles . Hannibal 11. Nepos . Medusa 12. Cupid . Circe THE TATLER