Thorp High School - Seniorian Yearbook (Thorp, WI)

Page 21 text:

Class Prophecy After numerous unsuccessful attempts to get his three dimensional television set focused, Mr. Gaffney relents to an ancient source of information, the news- paper. He picks up the May 5, 1978 issue of the nationally known, Nobel and Pulitzer Prize Winner, Kitch's Katastrophej' edited by David Kitch, a former fellow-faculty man of his. Incidentally, it has been whispered that this periodical is in the running for the Congo Cultural Citation. After quickly scanning through the first forty- seven pages of Kitch's Political Sorespots, his atten- tion is immediately drawn to the lower left hand corner of the forty-eighth page, where he finds his favorite column, Believe It or Not, by D. Kitch, Jr. He begins reading enthusiastically. Robert Badzinski, the famous Intelligence Di- rector at the Grand Psychiatric Institute, founded by the famous Neuro Psychiatrist, Dr. Edmund Sabas- tain Grendzinski, left for Las Vegas for a long needed rest. Lenard Burzynski, better known to the public as The Legs, is now employed by the Piwoni Non- Slip, Non-Slide, Non-Run, Cosmic-Proof, hosiery Corporation. Mr. Burzynski's duties are to convince the ladies that these stockings are Non-Slip, Non- Slide, Non-Run, and Cosmic-Proof. Eugene Norysiewicz, now featured by Barnum Sz Bailey as the Human Cannonball in their daring television show, shocked the entire United States in his last appearance, when he accidently forgot to fasten his safety belt and shot through the top of the big tent, landing in a patch of poison ivy. He is now confined to his bed with a severe rash. The society playboy and heir to the Tinker Toy Industry, Bob Butterfield, was granted a divorce from his tenth wife, Eleanore Scziezor Butterfield, the breathtaking Broadway fan dancer on the grounds of incompatibility. Francis Grabon has organized the Grabon Order of Friars, and is spending his remaining days in constant prayer and penance to atone for his pre- vious wicked, ill-led life. Don Dobrzynski, famed artist, was given a contract by Genevieve Lasiuk, the highway commis- sioner for the State of Wisconsin, to paint the yellow stripe down the center of the new super highway running from Chippewa Falls to Eau Claire. Frances Kmieciak, who has just completed her latest movie, Water Babe, is now preparing to undertake a deep-sea diving excursion in the Carib- bean waters. Her husband, Richard Vanderhyden, a prominent New York Dentist, hopes she will find an adequate supply of pearls so that he may finish the upper plate for the sensational revival singer, Joe Siegienski, who has captivated Broadway with his newest release, It's in the Volumes. The Indianapolis Speedway record was broken by the fearless, daring, speed-queen, Kathleen Hazuga. After a startling finish, she rushed into the clutching arms of her husband, Tom Qualle, the leader of the Underworld, alias - the oil can of the big lrnachine, and sighed, We finally got a getaway car. Susan Harycki, of Ft. Sam Houston, Texas, re- turned from Chicago, Illinois, with her Chesterwhite Hog, Nigger. For the third consecutive year she has presented a prize hog to the National Swine Judge, James Chester Haas, a former student of Thorp High School, who has just completed his best selling book, How to Raise Rindless Side Pork. Gerald Phillips, sometimes referred to as J. P. Morgan the second, revealed to the press how he made his first billion. It seems the seventeenth year he worked as a janitor for the Truse Slaughtering house, he became quite chummy with the proprieter's lovely and rich daughter, Helen. With her 'encourage- ment and his past knowledge of animal hides, heire- leased a new product to cure falling hair, Ph1ll1p's Hair Delight. Al Kotecki is working for his second cup of coffee by selling apples on the corner of Skidrow and Madison Street in the Windy City. Richard Teclaw, a Harvard lawyer, is currently working on a Writ of Habeas Corpus to get Irene Jasket, the lady wrestler, out of the cooler, for strangling her opponent in a fit of anger. The City of Thorp is in a mild state of confus- ion, a new business has been introducted and is advertising under the slogan, f'Drains plugged? Try the Con-way. Miss Rosanne Conway, the instigator and chief un-plugger, has added a personal and feminine touch to the unpleasant task by doing the job by herself. Allene Kenney, whose picture has recently ap- peared on the Bull Durham Tobacco packages, has been traveling the United States with .the rodeo rid- ing wild bulls. As you notice by the pictures, travel has certainly broadened her. l The new sensation, who succeeded Johnny Weiss- miller as Tarzan, Don Nevela, has been offered a million dollar contract by Metropolitan Opera to sing the part of the Toreador in Carmen. I Armon Schmidt, now luxuriously residing on the island of Capri, has recently opened a Honeymoonerfs resort. His first set of lovebirds was Ruby Buss, presi- dent of the Lonely Hearts Club in New York, and Florian Szatalowicz, who was voted the most eligible bachelor in the United States. Miss Margie Reichert narrowly escaped death when the Nitroglycerine truck, she had been driving for 24 hours, accidently left the road and hit a farmers cow, Miss Reichert got a big bang out of this incident. Sylvia Cieslek explained to a group of professors recently her new book, The Birds and the Bees. The professors were astounded at the knowledge she has acquired from taking a four year course in Animal Husbandry. Richard Wiater has lived up to the expectations of his classmates and teachers. He is now working for the Federal Government in Washington, D.C. His 24 hour job is replacing burnt out light bulbs in the Pentagon. I Senate action for the bill, Butrym Beef Price Supports, introduced by the wealthy Texas rancher, Jeanette Butrym, has been delayed due to the fili- bustering by Norbert Teclaw, the proprietor of Sam's Corner Fish Market. Readers, which would you prefer, Norb's last weeks fish, or Jeanettes Texas Leather? Flash! The greatest magician alive, Bernadette Nimble-Fingers Cukla, who is said to be second only to Houdini, was picked up by the police today on the charge of pick-pocketing. As the plain-clothes Woman Detective, Lorraine Dahm, snapped the handcuis on her, Nimble-Fingers shockingingly exclaimed, No law is going to stand in my way. I'll just dig in my little black bag of tricks. Jean Cook, a Taxerdermist in Ontario, Canada, has replaced the old Moosehead at the Moosehall, in Thorp, Wisconsin, with a new and larger lone, that she recently finished stufing. Her amazing work ranges from antheads to elephant eyeballs. I Who Shot Cock-Robin? has just been revised, by Ann Larson. The leadoff line is: Who Dicenti- graded that Nasty Foul? I . l By some mathematical calculation, Patricia Urbas, has found a method to straighten the Lean- ing Tower of Piza. ' Robert Mertens and his wife, the former Julia Page Seventeen

Page 20 text:

NORBERT TECLAW F0f511SiCS 1, 3, 4: Booster Club 33 FRA. Z3 Christmas Ball Chairman 43 Too Sweet For Sixteen 33 If You Knew Susie .43 Mixed Chorus 1, 2, 3, 43 Curtis Drive 43 Noonday Soft- ball ancl Basketball 2, 3, 43 Noonclay Volleyball 2, 4. HELEN TRUSE Booster Club 1, 2, 3, 43 F.H.A. 2, 43 ,luniorette Art Editor 33 Noonday Basketball 43 Noonday volleyball 3, 4. RICHARD VANDERHYDEN S.A.F.. Representative 13 Prom Committee 33 F.F.A. 1, 23 Sen- iorian Staff 43 Football 1, 2, 3, 4. Not Showng ALOIS PIWONI Page Sixteen RICHARD TECLAW Forensics 1, 2 3, 43 Booster Club Secretary 33 1, Treasur- er 23 Too Sweet For Sixteen 33 If You Knew Susie 43 Mixed Chorus 3, 4. PATRICIA URBAS Noonclay Softball 2, 33 Forensics 3, 43 Booster Club 1, 2, 3, 43 F. H. A. 1, 43 Play Production 3, 43 Girl's Basketball 1, 23 Mixed Chorus 1, Z, 3, 4g Band 1, 2, 3, 43 Out O' The Pines 43 Noonday Basketball and Volleyball Z, 3, 4. RICHARD WIATER Mixed Chorus 23 Noonday Bas- ketball Z, 3, 43 Forensics 3, 43 Prom Committee 33 Seniorian Staff 43 If You Knew Susie 43 Class President 4. IRENE ZARADA Armistice Day Program 43 Noonday Softball 2, 33 Forensics 1, 2, 3, 43 Booster Club 1, 2, 3, 43 F.H.A. 1, Z, 33 Library Club 43 Girl's Basketball 1, Z3 Too Sweet For Sixteen 33 If You Knew Susie 43 Noonday Volley- ball 3, 43 Iuniorette Art Editor 33 Noonday Basketball 2, 3, 43 Girl's Prom Committee.

Page 22 text:

Kaminski, are the pI'oud parents of Quadruplets, born Saturday. Julia returned to her bricklaying job on the following Monday. Her husband, Robert, is convalescing from a nervous breakdown. Paris is aghast by the new, daring, wOman's costumes being designed by Jack Dallas. His newest creation, The Black Angel, is being modeled by the shapely Martha Jane Francis. Star gazer, Irene Zarada, stationed at Mt. Pal- mor, proved the theory of the Solar System - that system of which the sun is the center, comprising the Major planets, Minor planets, fPlanetoids or Asteroidsl, satellites, comets, and meteorites of the Minor planets. The basis of her proof was the recent stratospheric expedition undertaken by the fearless, death-dodging, rocket flyer, Joanne Romanowicz. Eureka Springs, Colorado, held their annual Pancake eating contest. This year a new face and winner was seen among the many entries. Miss Rosann Ebben, formerly of Thorp, Wisconsin, was crowned, t'Miss Pancake of 1978. The unmarried two-hundred fifty pound champ will make personal appearances throughout the United States within the next year. The funeral parlor proprietor, Ed 'Digger O' Dell' Hass, completed his new mortuary just in time to carry his fourth wife, Wanda Johnson, over the threshold. Robert Lewandowski, at present working as a research chemist for the Lipton Tea, Brewing, Sz Water Pollution Company of Chlorphyl City, Green- land, Cwhere it's too cold to smell anyway!j, has discovered a cheaper way of making Iced Tea, his only problem is finding ice picks big enough to chip the glacier. Our Last Will ROBERT BADZINSKI wills his ability to steer clear of girls to Byron Bogumill. LENARD BURZYNSKI wills his clean hands to whom- ever has time to wash them. , RUBY BUSS wills her homey ways to Audrey Langiewicz. ROBERT BUTTERFIELD wills his heartwarming smile to Marylin Plansky. k SYLVIA CIESLEK wills her cowboy yodel to Dorothy Deutchlander to go with her guitar. ROSANNE CONWAY wills her excuses to Arnie Smith. JEAN COOK wills her Know How to Tom Hirsch. BERNADETTA CUKLA Wills her writer's cramp to next year's Literary Editor of the Seniorian. LORRAINE DAHM wills her death seat in Al KOtecki's car to St. Peter. DON DOBRZYNSKI wills his flirting eyes to John Meyer. ROSANN EBBEN wills her milkman back to the dairy. MARTHA JANE FRANCIS wills her driving timidity to Roger Turenne. FRANCES KMIECIAK wills her rnotherly instincts to Nancy Giwojna. AL KOTECKI wills his green Batmobile to Mr. Kitch. ANN LARSON wills her cute little figure to Chester Przybylski. GENIVIEVE LASIUK wills her punctuality to James Pabich. ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI wills his mechanical mind to Don Zukowski. DON NEVELA wills the Einstein within him to Albert Kaczmarek. EUGENE NORYSEWICZ wills his wavy hair to Gertrude Marek. GERALD PHILLIPS wills his fast running legs to the University of Wisconsin. ALOIS PIWONI wills his dry humor to Carol Reinke. TOM QUALLE wills his leather lip to Arnie Zaborowski. MARGIE REICHERT wills her Saturday nights back to the weekend. . JOANNE ROMANOWICZ wills her tallness to Joan Carpenter. ARMON SCHMIDT wills his dependable helping hand to the Junior boys, so that next year's Seniors will have a winning Hoat. ELEANORE SCIEZOR wills her nerve racking giggle to Peter Lukowiewicz. JOE SIEGIENSKI wills Joe Czernicki back to geometry class so he can pass the course. FLORIAN SZATALOWICZ wills his innocent look to Marlene Burkhart. RICHIE TECLAW wills his love for blondes to Jackie Hedler. HELEN TRUSE wills her long tresses to Jo Hmielak. PAT URBAS wills her frequent trips to Stanley to the Motor Bus Lines. Digiti- 7. AA Q- RICHARD VANDERHYDEN wills his slick chick appear- ance to Dean Liazuk. RICHARD WIATER wills his advanced math course to Mr. Gaffney. IRENE ZARADA wills her levies to Florence Kolodziej. JEANETTE BUTRYM wills her dark hair and eyes to Don Van Loo. NORBERT TECLAW wills his sparkling personality to Lucy Soborowicz. WANDA JOHNSON wills that certain somebody's class ring to the jeweler so that he can get the tape off of it. FRANCIS GRABON wills his knowledge of headache sedatives to Gordon Hanson. EDMUND GRENDZINSKI wills his broad shoulders to Darlene Kubera. ' ED HAAS wills his ability to converse with the oppo- site sex to Len Zukowski. JAMES HAAS wills his football shoulder pads to Jet Pilot. ALLENE KENNEY leaves to find the Holy Grail. SUSAN HARYCKI wills her red hair and freckles to Maxine Turenne. KATHLENE HAZUGA Wills her experience with the mentally deficient to any teacher who feels that he needs it. IRENE JASKOT wills her regular morning letters to Mona Tieman. JULIA KAMINSKI wills Homer back to his Out-of- Town girl friend. Page Eighteen