The Park School - Spark Yearbook (Buffalo, NY)

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N inetren Forty-one Page Fifteen Who's Not and Why Tbey're Not-1950 I Continued j PITCHER, MARY . . . Wfhile inquiring as to the whereabouts of Mary Pitcher, one of our staff reporters discovered that she is now devoting her life to the cause of man- kind and giving deep thought to the ques- tion of the cruelties and bitterness of our world today. Mary is now abiding in re- treat at a far off nunnery where she can really give her subject the necessary medi- tation which she thinks it is due. RAYMOND, MARGARET . . . Miss Raymond, ultra sophisticate, has now taken up residence in the new Waterfront Apart- ments. She feels that she would rather stay in the realm of night clubs and cocktail bars than be just another one of those hicks in the sticks. RICE, WILLIAM . . . As the morning sun steals softly across the Kleinhans Music Hall, a melodious voice is heard piercing the still morning air. In the distance the plod- ding of hoofs is heard. As a vari-coloured wagon approaches we hear our Bill chant- ing basso profundo, Rags, Rags. ROSS, BRONSON . . . Young Professor Ross, one of the starving intelligentsian, is still working on his thesis, The Evils of Modern Society. He has been quoted as saying, Material matters are of no conse- quence to me. I am searching for the sub- lime. SCHEU, MARY LEA . . . Miss Scheu, as one of the daintiest and most fragile of the modern younger set, is looking ahead to a very promising career in the Russian Ballet. She has spent many years abroad learning the delicate, intricate ballet steps, and as do most theatrical performers, she revels in the glory of the spotlight and the adoration of her public. SHARP, KATHLEEN . . . Rumor has it that Miss Kathleen Sharp, head of the State Women's Reformatory and better known as Big Time Jackie,', will marry a Brooklyn taxi-driver. So far as we have been able to determine, the only character- istic Miss Sharp and her fiance have in com- mon is their striking accent. STRICKLAND, EDWARD . . . One of Buffalo's most terrific menaces at the pres- ent time is Big Ed Strickland, renowned racketeer, politician, and grafter. As the worst public enemy residing in Buffalo, Awful Ed has control of all the tenements and waterfront slums and refuses to co- operate with the City Planning Board in any respect. TODD, BARBARA . . . The new style set by Miss Todd has incited much enthu- siasm among her fashionable fellow spin- sters of Buffalo. They are rapidly adopting her new ankle-length skirt and shin-length shoe, which provide both practicality and the necessary modesty. URBAN, MR. AND MRS. SEYMOUR . . . Mrs. Urban, nee Phoebe Lewis, and her husband have completed their latest book, This Melzmclaoly World. The title suggests a joint autobiography, and several morbid incidents in the book tie in with the authors' own lives. Mr. and Mrs. Urban's presence in a group is denoted by the depressing cloud which gathers at their entrance. XVEBSTER, DONALD . . . Mr. Webster may now be seen at the best of the honky- tonks with many a painted doll clinging to his arm. Perhaps someday his smooth line will be heard thrilling the debs at the Stork Club. WILSON, TOWNSEND . . . Mr. Wil- son, after working his way up from the bottom, now has a firm foundation in the Ladies' Lingerie Department of Buffalo's most flourishing Five and Ten. His newly introduced system of management has done a great deal to improve the department, but we feel that Mr. Wilson lacks the per- severance to stay on top for long. YATES, BARBARA . . . Miss Yates has been spending a great deal of her time work- ing on Orchard Park's new Chatterbox program. She has no assistance on this daily radio skit, but carries on alone with her own spontaneous quips and silly giggle.

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Pagv F ourlvm The Spark fZQJho's Mit and 'why l71ejy re Mat -- 1950 The Prophesy In Reverse This column is dedicated to the underdogs. Their names do not appear in Who,s Who,', so we take this opportunity to pay them a small tribute. BACKUS, ANNE . . . Miss Anne Backus is known to the public as Two-Gun Annie , Big Butch Boyd's favorite moll. Although she is not seen very often, her bright makeup, flashy clothes, and imita- tion jewels will never be forgotten. FERNOW, HOWARD . . . We have heard lately that Howard Fernow has made millions on his latest design for the Hairem- Scarem -- Never - Tearem Mousetrap Com- pany. All Howard's friends and acquaint- ances are pleased to know that he has at last found his true realm of expression in this worthy occupation. GUILLAUME, DAVID . . . Mr. David G., after attempting various occupations, has finally taken his place among the na- tion's factory workers. Mr. G. has been following the regular routine of the labor- ers of this country, and he believes, as they do, that a materialistic and non-creative ex- istence should be led by all. HODGIN, ANDORA . . . 'lHefty Hod- ginf' nee Andora Hodgin, is again com- peting in the Western New York Heavy- weight Boxing Championships. Hefty's boisterous voice, crude mannerisms, and excessive brawn, together with her complete lack of femininity, represent a rather drastic picture of the modern woman athlete. KELLY, EDWARD . . . Mr. Kelly, a most generous patron of the Buffalo Phil- harmonic Orchestra and other musical as- sociations, is greatly worried about the in- creasing popularity of the obnoxious, vul- gar, jazz styles. Mr. Kelly, who believes that the cultured minority should rule and regulate the Arts, detests popular polls and desires their removal. KLAUSSEN, PETER HOOKER . . . Great strides have been taken by Peter Klaussen in the field of marble and granite. His outstanding technique and delicacy in fine carving have earned him a reputation as the world's finest carver. He is sought after by thousands, and in answer to their desperate calls, he may daily be seen blithely carving names on Forest Lawn tombstones. KRANZ, PETER . . . Mr. Kranz was recently elected President of the Anti-Wolf League, which is composed of the shyer, more timid men of our society. President Kranz is an outstanding representative of this organization because of his conserva- tiveness and reserved dignity, most gracious- ly displayed in the presence of young ladies. LANDSBERGER, EVA . . . Because of Eva's stormy disposition and incorrigible temper, it has been said fand on good au- thorityj that she is one Shrew who will never be tamed. She has often been known to throw fits as well as her husband when her ears were strained by sweet melodious notes. MOE, CARLTON . . . By great good fortune our reporter was able to gain ad- mittance to the hidden sanctuary of Pro- fessor Carlton Moe, studious astronomer, who lives the life of a hermit. During the interview our reporter discovered that Dr. Moe left the turbulent city to seek the nec- essary contentment and solitude and to strive for a greater knowledge of his beloved heavenly bodies. Dr. Moe has no regrets about leaving human society but is content to spend the rest of his life as a hermit in his unobserved observatory. MOWAT, W. R. EAGAN . . . If you are in doubt as to what fragrance should accompany your new ensemble, consult M. Richard Mowate, who comes to us direct from Paris. He is considered our greatest connoisseur of exotic perfumes.

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Page Sixteen The Spark NAME ANNE BACKUS HOWARD FERNOW DAVID GUILLAUME ANDORA HODGIN EDWARD KELLY PETER KLAUSSEN PETER KRANZ EVA LANDSBERGER PHOEBE LEWIS CARL MOE WILLIAM MOWAT MARY PITCHER MARGARET RAYMOND WILLIAM RICE BRONSON ROSS MARY LEA SCHEU JACKIE SHARP EDWARD STRICKLAND BARBARA TODD SEYMOUR URBAN DON WEBSTER TOWNSEND WILSON BARBARA YATES SYMBOL Attendance notebook. Oysters. Long hair. A figure eight. Shamrock. Andie Peroxide bottle. Bow and fiddle. Contagious laughter. 0lansies 4We don't know eitherl. Athletic equipment. Merry eyes. A desk filled with Spark and Pen- pushers materials. English refugees MJD... Muscle . Park School refugees. The great city of Buffalo. Those eyesl A blush. A smile. Student Council notes. Station wagon filled with Seniors. enior FAVORITE SAYING My stars and garters I Well, if you don't believe it . . . ..Jeeps,., ..Hey, Lookiel Oh, Peter don't l Well, . . etc., etc. . . Will the meeting come to order. Oh, yeahf! 1 Oh, dear. What a kill! Like a house a-fire! Gosh! H'llo. Back in '24. Well, it ain't warm E How rare l Come on, fellers and gals! That's what I keep telling them down at the office. Golly sakes ! I never did this in England! The Major says . . . The Twins say I'm slow. Oh, my gosh l Boraxo. ..Lush,.. ..rm,el.. queer. Oh, gee whizz ! Statistics ADMIRED FOR Her blonde hair. His bluffing ability. His artistic ability. Rapid reading in German. I-Ie's the Editor of The Latest. His ability with figures. His report card. Her musical talent. Her ability to get along with everybody. Ippieola. His unused charm. Her vitality. Executive traits. His variation in dancing. His ability to get by on FD Her versatility. Her English accent. That red curl. Her evening dresses. His gin-ial personality. His knack with electrical gadgets. His ability to dodge social functions. Her quietness. OCCUPATION Knitting. Debating. Cheer Leading Taking tucks. Talking. Directing the Senior Class. Flirting. Worrying. Getting in and 177 of trouble. Talent scout. Slinging' shootin'. an' Asking questions. Spark -ing. Wind-bagging. Going home early. Slinging the boys. Training the toddlers. Revising the budget. Playing second fiddle f?J Amusing others. Taking pictures for The Spark. Grinding, Sculpturing. out MOST LIKELY TO BE Nursery School Teacher. Fashion Expert. Art Critic. Seamstress. Politician. A Hooker. Employee of the escort bureau. Mrs. Rubinoff. Physical Education Teacher. Census Taker. Another Coach Flood. Always the spark of the party. An author. Metropolitan Opera employee. CJanitorJ Engineer. Navy wife. One of those novel nurses. Star office boy. A model for rising fashions. Newspaper employee. Electrician. Very successful business man. Charity worker.