Texas Tech University - La Ventana Yearbook (Lubbock, TX)

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Nothing like dorm, life Jving in a dorm some- imes could make iolitary confinement ieem pleasant. Blissful slumber is interrupted by an Id Stones ' tune on your clock radio. vs you groggily hit the blaring thing Dr the third time, you finally look at it nd realize that you now are missing our first class and in danger of miss- ig your second. You blearily gaze cross the room where your eyes land n the unmoving lump in the other ed. You ponder the existence of this trange being as you wearily get up. Vhy does this person wear those trange objects in her hair? You con- emplate this concept all the way to he shower where you find a line. Not lone, your neighbors, too, are waiting 1 a somewhat catatonic condition. You finally get in a shower and iegin to wake up, but the rude wakening really occurs when you each for the towel and it ' s no longer here. An episode of the Twilight !one comes to mind. You curse inder your breath, then scream. Okay, y ' all, give me back my stuff!! ' ou wait five minutes until the last of our dignity is gone and defiantly walk ' Ut wearing only what you were born 1. No one will notice at this hour, iesides, your room is only 18 doors .way. At a pace that would surely break ny Olympic record, you dash to your oom and rush in. The first thing you ay eyes on is your renegade towel, un- loubtedly thrown there by your :ilarious friends. As you silently plot evenge, you take a quick glance at he clock and get dressed in 15 linutes, taking care to dry your hair t the highest, loudest setting to wake our snoring roommate. But this tactic never works. Nothing, except maybe a nuclear war in the room, would wake her up. Your tummy, through a series of bizarre noises, tells you to blow off that dumb diet and eat, so you decide to have breakfast. Not knowing what to expect since you ' ve never made it to breakfast while you ' ve been at col- lege, you wait in line. After eating for a few minutes, you conclude this must be the only meal no one could botch up. This thought is soon shot to Hades after one of your friends asks, You ' re EATING the eggs?! Don ' t you know they ' re not real?! They taste real, you insist. She assures you she heard they were a powdered mix. With this disheartening illusion in mind, you go to class. Your classes aren ' t too bad except for the one with that horrid professor who insists on calling on you for all the answers. Somehow you make it through, and as you trek back to home-sweet-home, your thoughts are on lunch. As you and your friends eat what no man has eaten before, the day ' s gossip is discussed: guys, classes and soap operas. While putting your tray on the conveyor belt that supposedly leads to the kitchen, the darn thing slips right out of your hands and crashes unceremoniously to the floor. At least 30 or 40 thousand people look right at you and some jerks even have the audacity to clap and cheer. Your em- barrassed friends long since have disappeared as you shamefully help the chuckling cafeteria worker clean up the big mess. Vowing never to set foot in that dreadful place again, you soon forget the fiasco as you get into your favorite soap opera. Your problems are nothing compared to Jenny ' s and Greg ' s, so in a somewhat brighter mood you traipse to your weekly after- noon lab, which consists of looking at ugly rocks. If you ever find the adviser who stupidly suggested this class, you are going to flog him. Finally, your classes are over and the weekend has begun. For some, it never ends. Back at the dorm, everyone who is anyone is in your room discussing the evening plans with your now fully awakened roommate. Miss Perfect. Who would ever guess that only hours earlier this woman could have scared off the Creature from the Black Lagoon. After hours of negotiating and an episode of The Brady Bunch, everyone has decided on someplace to go and breaks out the brew. You are lucky enough to have a date. Soon enough — in fact, too soon — he arrives. After making him wait 15 minutes in the lobby, you both leave. What a gentleman this one turns out to be — he sits at least 20 feet away from you the entire time. On the way home, his car develops a flat tire. Not that old trick you think. But this one is for real — just your luck — and you ruin your new blouse chang- ing the tire because the poor guy doesn ' t know how. You arrive back at the ominous edifice that is now your home at a very late hour. You must be a real sight because the night watch- man gasps when you enter, it must be all that mud on your skirt. Vaseline strategically placed on your doorknob makes silent entry into your room virtually impossible. Your friends are such comediennes. Naturally, your roommate is sound asleep by this time and as you drift off, you remember the project that ' s due at 7:30 sharp Monday morning. Oh well, you think as you settle into bed. it only counts 75 percent of your grade. — C] nda Callawa Dorm Life — J 5

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Artwork by Owens O ' Daniel 14 — Dorm Life

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' Ten-hut! Present pencils So you think you know all there is to know about M ' A ' S ' H? Well, here ' s a quiz designed to totally baffle even those of us who know we know everything about M ' A ' S ' H. No cheating now (1 point each) 1. For what do the letters M ' A ' S ' H stand? 2. Give Hawkeye Pierce ' s full name. 3. Name Hawkeye ' s hometown. 4. What was Maj. Houlihan ' s nickname? 5. Name Maj. Winchester ' s alma mater. 6. Name Cpl. Klinger ' s hometown. 7. What was B. J. Hunnicutt ' s home state? 8. True or false: Hawkeye ' s father is a widower living in Indiana. 9. Radar ' s uncle died while Radar was in Korea. What was his name? 10. How many commanding of- ficers did the 4077th have? Name them. How did you do? Good, huh? Now let ' s see if you ' re officer material. (3 points each) 11. Name Col. Potter ' s hometown. 12. How did Hawkeye get his nickname? 13. What was Radar ' s real first name? What was his hometown? (IVaeach) 14. True or false: Father Mulcahy ' s sister is a Nob Hill socialite. 15. Name the psychiatrist who oc- casionally dropped in to observe life in the 4077th. 16. Name the Korean houseboy whom, in an early segment, Hawkeye and Trapper tried to save from service in the Korean army. 17. A double-barreled question; the name of B. J. Hunnicutt ' s wife and daughter. 18. What did Maj. Houlihan ' s father do before he retired? 19. Earn extra points for knowing the character actor who played Maj. Houlihan ' s father in a M ' A ' S ' H segment. 20. Where is B.J. ' s wife living while he serves his tour in Korea? Steady now, here comes the tough ones. Anybody out there CIA material? (6 points each) 21. Father Mulcahy has three given names. What are they? 22. What is Col. Potter ' s wife ' s first name? 23. Name the black actor who played the neurosurgeon during M ' A ' S ' H ' s first season. What was the character ' s name? (3 points each) 24. What was the name of Maj. Winchester ' s sister? 25. Frank Burns was the unfor- tunate, but often deserving, butt of many practical jokes and insults around the M ' A ' S ' H camp. What was the nickname Hawkeye and Trapper stuck on him that was picked up by other M ' A ' S ' H members? 26. Name the insane CIA officer who popped up occasionally. Who is the actor who played the role? 27. Give yourself three points for knowing who played the occasional character Rizzo, the sergeant who ran the motor pool, and another three for knowing who played Igor, the cook ' s helper. 28. For what do B. J. Hunnicutt ' s initials stand? 29. What is Cpl. Klinger ' s middle initial? 30. Who said: Why, I guess I ' ve seen everybody in that town with their clothes off at one time or another. Answers 1. Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. 2. Benjamin Franklin Pierce. 3. Crabapple Cove, Maine 4. Hot Lips. 5. Harvard. 6. Toledo. 7. California. 8. False, he ' s a widower still living in Crabapple Cove. 9. Radar ' s uncle was named Ed. 10. Two; Lt. Col. Henry Blake, followed by Col. Sherman Potter. 11. Hannibal, Mo. 12. His father named him after a character in The Last of the Mohicans. 13. Walter O ' Reilly was from Ot- tumwa, Iowa. 14. False. She is a nun (and a darn- ed good basketball coach, too). 15. Maj. Sydney Freedman. 16. Ho-John. 17. B.J. is married to Peg; he is the father of Erin. 18. He was a career Army officer. 19. Andrew Duggan. 20. Mill Valley, Calif. 21. John Patrick Francis. 22. Mildred. 23. Timothy Brown played the role of Spearchucker. 24. Honoria was his sister. 25. Ferret Face. 26. Col. Flagg, played by character actor Edward Winter. 27. G. W. Bailey played Rizzo and Jeff Maxwell was Ig or. 28. He was named after his mother Bea, and his father. Jay. 29. Klinger ' s middle initial was Q. 30. Lt. Col. Henry Blake. There are 100 points possible on this quiz. If you scored 85 or more, you ' re definitely a M ' A ' S ' H aficionado. A score of 60-84 wins you your captain ' s bars. If you managed 40 to 59, sew on those sergeant ' s stripes, soldier. If you scored 20 to 40, you ' ve been a good trooper, but no medal. If you scored less than 20 . . . sec this potato peeler, private? Never fear, troops, you can always improve your scores with a tour of rerun duty. Quiz questions and answers courtesf,! of Mike McCorstin, staff writer for The Dallas Morning News. 16 — M-A ' S-H J