Temple University School of Podiatric Medicine - Achilles Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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After his course we were all chanting: “Spend, Spend, Pay out some dough. The more you spend, the more you owe. The more you're in debt, the better you feel. So spend some bread after every meal. During our 3rd year we also became familiar with the notorious “Wednesday Morning Catch-22 . It began like this: 1st Wednesday: Surgery Conference ends at 9:15. Students arrive in clinic to find that Dr. Feldman has pulled the attendance sheets at 8:59. All students arc marked absent. 2nd Wednesday: Students leave Surgery Conference at 8:56 to sign the attendance sheet in clinic on lime. Dr. Fox gets upset and decides that from now on students must stay for the entire length of Surgery Conference or be marked absent. 3rd Wednesday: Students get marked absent for missing Surgery Conference as they leave to go to the clinic on time. 4th Wednesday: Half the class goes to Surgery Conference, the other half goes to clinic. Each half signs the other half in. 5th Wednesday: Students’ “system is found out. Student must make up punitive days in both the clinic and Surgery conference. 6th Wednesday: Students arise early for Surgery Conference, some as early as 5:30 if they have to commute. They get to Room 236 to find a sign that says “Surgery Conference Cancelled Today; to be made up over break . Students arrive in clinic early and Dr. Feldman feels good about how he’s made everyone show up promptly. In Surgery, Drs. Mahan, Malay and Downey were the Manny, Moc and Jack of Podiatry. These Doctors Hospital Georgia Boys, armed only with their three volumes of McGlamry text, would internally fixate now and ask questions later. Patients would leave the clinic 20 lbs heavier loaded with Wagner plates, screws, pins and crossbeams. Some of the patients set off metal detectors, some drowned trying to swim, others picked up WMMR” when they pronated. This was all for just a 5th toe arthroplasty. They saved their heavy machinery for the bunions. Yet, no matter how skilled these gentlemen were as surgeons, they were no match for Dr. Gilbert Master, the King of Pads . The Two-Two Club caught on like wild fire and is rumored to have chapters forming in Pakistan and Ecuador.

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learned that the difference between measuring a 24' met. adductus and a 25° met. adductus was 5 points on an exam grade. We also learned that x-rays don't photocopy very well. Remember ’‘Stupid Question Bingo ? Each of us had a playing card with the names of students who were prone to ask dumb questions during class Of course Brel was always the free space in the middle of the card. We also had picture cards for students who Dr. Schoenhaus would call on in class. A “Mancini playing piece was worth Big Bucks. If you had a card with Boom Boom Mancini. Dan Coca Cola, and Matt sing for us Caruso, you were sure to win! It was during our second year when we heard the legend of Dr Bales. He was said to be the Capl. Kirk of our “Enterprise , but turned out to be the Boy in the Bubble or the Howard Hughes of PCPM. Very few students knew of him or what he does. Some think of him as God; certainly there arc similarities too close to be a coincidence. For instance: A. A few people can say they’ve talked with either Dr. Bates or God. B. Both God and Dr. Bates have set down rules that we all must follow, like it or not. C. Both arc said to be everywhere, but are seen nowhere. D. God created entropy, while Dr. Bates maintains it. THIRD YEAR Third year begins and we arc thusly beckoned to elaborate the supreme interlocutor. Dr. Anthony Kidawa. His elocutions inherently contain morpheme aggregations so abundant and intricate that they confound the intellect of a student who possesses a mere median scope of diction. Upon inviting an 83-year-old grandmother to recline in the phlebostatic position for a non-invasivc hemo-diagnostic doppler examination, he is left perplexed as the woman requests an interpreter. Fortunately. Bill Releford is usually nearby. We had a course called Practice Management also. In this class. Dr. Larry (Donald Trump) Levine taught us the art of getting into debt. Most of us found that wc had become masters of this already. His secret formula was to use OPM . which stood for Other Peoples’ Money With this philosophy, he could take out bank loans to purchase Lit Brothers as an expansion of the Foot Health Center and still have a little money left over for that extra Rolls Roycc.

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Question: Who does l)r. Master like the most? A. Raymond Burr’ B Neil Diamond Burr C. Richard Burr ton D Larry Burr el! E. Wil Burrrrrr Presenting to Dr. Lemont was the awesome task of Diag Clinic. He would ask a student to explain CREST syndrome and wince in disgust as he was told it had something to do with too much flouride in the water. He is one of two people (the other being Dr. Witkowski) who can diagnose Pityriasis rubra pilaris blindfolded. Dr. Lemont, I have a patient with a capsulitis”, a student declares. At this statement. Dr. Lemont runs into the room, touches the joint with his index finger for one second, clicks a cough drop in his mouth twice and says. No. that’s a synovitis! He was often seen in the hall discussing controversial issues with Dr. Christman like Religion. Politics, and Oscillometers. Dr. Zulli taught us that we should always take x-rays bilaterally. If a patient has a twin, take one of his brother as well. Those students who came to his workshop late had the extra educational experience of learning the prices of coffee and juice at the bookstore. Daydreaming during class, we imagined Dr. Helfand becoming President of the United States We could picture him playing hardball with the Soviet Union until they corrected Podiatry Rights Violations. We could also imagine Dr. Voglcr becoming the first podiatrist to do brain surgery for cavus foot corrections. Dr. Feldman would be a Green Beret podiatrist in Rambo V who destroys half-full Cidex trays in Vietnam. As mid-terms and finals rolled around the class underwent a metamorphosis. The girls started to wear sweatsuits to school and scrapped their contact lenses for glasses. The guys would let their rooms get cluttered with laundry and have to dig up clothes from the depths of their closets. The smokers lined up against the hall windows quickly finishing their cigarettes and stuffing the butts into juice jars and coffee cups. Students who were normally friendly, would dart directly to their seats without saying a word. Mike Fleeter, who has in reality read his notes seven times, insists, I know nothing, I hope this test isn't bad. I ll get killed if it is” (Yeah, right Mike). Joe LaContc had made it throught the last lecture in his note service; that means he’s almost overstudied. (But wait Joe. when the test is over you discover three lectures you never received). Tony Mathis appears in his bright yellow