Temple University School of Podiatric Medicine - Achilles Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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learned that the difference between measuring a 24' met. adductus and a 25° met. adductus was 5 points on an exam grade. We also learned that x-rays don't photocopy very well. Remember ’‘Stupid Question Bingo ? Each of us had a playing card with the names of students who were prone to ask dumb questions during class Of course Brel was always the free space in the middle of the card. We also had picture cards for students who Dr. Schoenhaus would call on in class. A “Mancini playing piece was worth Big Bucks. If you had a card with Boom Boom Mancini. Dan Coca Cola, and Matt sing for us Caruso, you were sure to win! It was during our second year when we heard the legend of Dr Bales. He was said to be the Capl. Kirk of our “Enterprise , but turned out to be the Boy in the Bubble or the Howard Hughes of PCPM. Very few students knew of him or what he does. Some think of him as God; certainly there arc similarities too close to be a coincidence. For instance: A. A few people can say they’ve talked with either Dr. Bates or God. B. Both God and Dr. Bates have set down rules that we all must follow, like it or not. C. Both arc said to be everywhere, but are seen nowhere. D. God created entropy, while Dr. Bates maintains it. THIRD YEAR Third year begins and we arc thusly beckoned to elaborate the supreme interlocutor. Dr. Anthony Kidawa. His elocutions inherently contain morpheme aggregations so abundant and intricate that they confound the intellect of a student who possesses a mere median scope of diction. Upon inviting an 83-year-old grandmother to recline in the phlebostatic position for a non-invasivc hemo-diagnostic doppler examination, he is left perplexed as the woman requests an interpreter. Fortunately. Bill Releford is usually nearby. We had a course called Practice Management also. In this class. Dr. Larry (Donald Trump) Levine taught us the art of getting into debt. Most of us found that wc had become masters of this already. His secret formula was to use OPM . which stood for Other Peoples’ Money With this philosophy, he could take out bank loans to purchase Lit Brothers as an expansion of the Foot Health Center and still have a little money left over for that extra Rolls Roycc.

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One funny thing about our first year was that you knew you would hear the word “Max” about 4 times a day First, for the lights. Second, for the slide projector. Third, for the overhead. Fourth, just because we felt like it. SECOND YEAR Dr Jacob's Pharmacology class was geared for the early birds. God help anyone who didn’t show up. or worse, came in through one of the side doors. Our first thought was that perhaps he was hiding a PDR behind his back and he didn’t want anyone to see it. lie told us we were mediocre and taught us “Shulfonamides Caushc Shtevcnsh Johnshohnsh Shyndrome”. It was during this memorable lecture that Dean and Noah received their second shower of the day. Fortunately, they were the only ones, for anyone else who attended sat in the back three rows. In Pharm lab we got to use the polygraphs from Physio This time, we got to shake them upside down to get the loose rats out of them. In Microbiology we learned the importance of being quiet in class. If you were caught whispering while Dr. Abramson was lecturing, you risked having your head dunked in “foul smelling, viscous, rice-water diarrhea . When he got mad, he would pound the podium so hard you thought his plaque on the fifth floor would fall off the wall. We learned alot in micro, but of all the organisms wc discovered, none were more fascinating than B. tcrleckvi. This was an anthropo philic, commensile, non-motile organism with a glycocalyx. On Sabouraud dextrose agar, this particular species tended to lecture on lipopolysaccharides. The only antibiotic effective against this organism was of course Axlercillin (Axlin®). Dr. Abramson was funny but Bo was alot “cilia”. In Pathology though. Dr. Arden only lectured to Frank Mole. We fell a bit miffed. Okay, the seven of us felt a bit miffed. Maybe wc should have painted open-eyes on his eyelids. Joe LaConte rescheduled every final we had with Dr “Aaaaden”. Dr. Skarinski lectured about Ecntesteenal Mookosa. Vaskoollitis. and Knotmeg Iccver. She was the Mrs. Gorbachov of the Pathology world Fortunately, Vera was there to transcribe those lectures. Dr. Wcissman and Big Al showed us the importance of taking and failing a Radiology final twice in a row. Dr. Wcissman is the author of Radiology of the Foot. This book, wc were told, was the foundation that Wilhelm Roentgen and Marie (.uric used in order to better understand radiology. From our tests wc

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After his course we were all chanting: “Spend, Spend, Pay out some dough. The more you spend, the more you owe. The more you're in debt, the better you feel. So spend some bread after every meal. During our 3rd year we also became familiar with the notorious “Wednesday Morning Catch-22 . It began like this: 1st Wednesday: Surgery Conference ends at 9:15. Students arrive in clinic to find that Dr. Feldman has pulled the attendance sheets at 8:59. All students arc marked absent. 2nd Wednesday: Students leave Surgery Conference at 8:56 to sign the attendance sheet in clinic on lime. Dr. Fox gets upset and decides that from now on students must stay for the entire length of Surgery Conference or be marked absent. 3rd Wednesday: Students get marked absent for missing Surgery Conference as they leave to go to the clinic on time. 4th Wednesday: Half the class goes to Surgery Conference, the other half goes to clinic. Each half signs the other half in. 5th Wednesday: Students’ “system is found out. Student must make up punitive days in both the clinic and Surgery conference. 6th Wednesday: Students arise early for Surgery Conference, some as early as 5:30 if they have to commute. They get to Room 236 to find a sign that says “Surgery Conference Cancelled Today; to be made up over break . Students arrive in clinic early and Dr. Feldman feels good about how he’s made everyone show up promptly. In Surgery, Drs. Mahan, Malay and Downey were the Manny, Moc and Jack of Podiatry. These Doctors Hospital Georgia Boys, armed only with their three volumes of McGlamry text, would internally fixate now and ask questions later. Patients would leave the clinic 20 lbs heavier loaded with Wagner plates, screws, pins and crossbeams. Some of the patients set off metal detectors, some drowned trying to swim, others picked up WMMR” when they pronated. This was all for just a 5th toe arthroplasty. They saved their heavy machinery for the bunions. Yet, no matter how skilled these gentlemen were as surgeons, they were no match for Dr. Gilbert Master, the King of Pads . The Two-Two Club caught on like wild fire and is rumored to have chapters forming in Pakistan and Ecuador.