Temple University School of Podiatric Medicine - Achilles Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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Dad' coffee mug Against the nearest wall Dr. Pitkow later switched to Sanka - brand and calmed down considerably. First year was our most tumultuous politically, with all non-students considered enemies until proven otherw ise There were frequent visits from various vice-presidents and other important greased fish. Don Becket. our version of FDR, was elected to the first of his three terms. Don 's career, however, ended not with u New Deal but a burn deal. While it was hi$ running mate who got pregnant, insisted Don, it was he who got screwed. Dr. facoby, our favorite biophysicist, pulled a fast one bv rearranging the answers to his time-honored exam. Dr. Jacoby later demonstrated his versatility by winning the fourth race at Liberty Bell. Lower Anatomy lectures gave Dr. DiPrimio, apparently a frustrated tailor at heart, an opportunity to glut strips of cloth to the defenseless skeleton in the front ot the class. These bizarre ornaments illustrated either muscular attachments or the latest South Philly fashions. It was easy to cell which students had received letters of recommendation from Dr. DiPrimio. He would call on Pornenti for an answer and then on Speziale for the Correct answer. As the Course material accumulated grade averages plummeted. Tempers flared, and the violence became mote than verbal as Dr. Hirsch was assaulrcd with a flying patella The atmosphere during quizzes and tests recalled prisoner-of-war camps, except that P O W.s had toiler privileges. All answer cards were signed and whisked to Scotland Yard for handwriting analysis. Fortunately, a rumored shipment of polygraph machine never materialized. And who pur the nasty note in the bitch box'1 Even during these high-stress times the class never lost its sense of Compassion or humaniti When one poor soul's house burned down, a class collection yielded a used sewing machine, a snow shovel ami a hag ot cheese nachos. Romances budded during this period, and stxan Sam and Bill were seen everywhere together. Dr. James Burke, rhar rarest of birds, had a strange quirk of treating students like humans, lie and Dr Fenton, our favorite lecturer in a skirt, made our trip through the Kreb s Cyle as painfree as possible The inscrutable Dr Whitney assured us that as time went on we would be with him, biomechanically speaking, and that it rook him three years to understand a class and vice versa The 8

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THE HISTORY OF THE CLASS, PART I They came from t.ir and near. From the redwood forests of California, the frozen tundras of our northern neighbor, the cultural deserts of South Jersey There were special places to be left behind: the craggy coast of Maine, the windswept prairies of Oklahoma, the live sex-shows of the Admiral Wilson boulevard. There were contrasting origins hut a common destination. And it) the fall of 78 they gathered in Philadelphia to form the class of ‘82. These were heady days, our salad days, the days before the main course. It all began with 132 nervous, first-time Pod students crammed into a windowless room that seemed much too small. We then left the men's room and entered room 318. the theater of our opening run. our minimum-security cell for the next year. The first goal of the administration was to welcome and orient us. At least they were half successful. A memorable Philadelphia slide show was presented by Truman Capote s voice teacher. Philadelphia had its attractions bur we. unfortunately, didn't have the time. We were soon saddled with a reading list more appropriate for a life term than a first term between the corpses, trying to See if he recognized any of them. Every major arias from Grants to Rand-McNally, the World According to SARP. The French Lieutenant's Podiatric Assistant. the House of Pod. How many of us were successful in si curing the preferred Latvian edition of Gray s? No matter, the Ethiopian version would do. Meanwhile, those with foresight began visiting residency programs. (Note to current first-year students: just kidding.) The thrust of trimester one was to make us regret not having taken more anatomy courses as an undergrad After listening to Dr. Tumquists high-frequency dissertations we would descend into the bowels of the school to descend into the bowels of the cadavers The administration, fearing that this might be too enjoyable, arranged for a constant infusion of noxious fumes. Our goal was to dissect our before passing our The school soon realized the severity of the problem and installed a complex system of odor-eaters. Students too tnaucho to wear masks tended to cough a lot. At least Dr. Turnquists's mask took the edge of her squeak. Dr. van Dyke serenely fxirrolcd the aisles If Gross Anatomy wasn 't to your liking, perhaps the microscopic version held appeal With his snappy retorts to our naive queries. Dr Conway impressed us as a sort of histological Don Rickies. If he ever tires of reaching, there's always Vegas. Embryology demonstrated that a minor course could be a major headache. Dr. Hirsch used both jokes and surprise quizzes to maintain student interest If you didn't get the punchline, perhaps you got the extra-credit question. His policy seemed to he. If they cant take a joke, flunk cm. The derails of embryo would soon be forgotten, but fortunately the essence of the course had been distilled to a single, succinct phrase Oncology recapitulates Phytogeny Adjusting to the grind of Pod school proved traumatic to many. Our attrition rate would have made a kamikaze pilot proud. You could sir next to a classmate one day and hc she would be gone the next. Many drop-outs eventually settled for med school. Listening to Dr. Churchill made us feel as if we were from the wrong side of the spinocerebellar tracts In a word, dizzy. This is no reflection on the talents of Dr. Churchill It seems that the human brain has a difficult time with self-comprehension. Everyone realized the two options in Neuro: learn it now or learn it later. To rhe relief of those who teamed it later, it rained frequently the following summer We heard that Intro to Podiatry was a good course. The physiological tag-team of Davis and Pitkow taught us that 1) rhe heart pumps blood 2) we suck in O, and blow out CO{ 3) Davis's Law (no thyroid to Addison's) ■i) bleeding dogs die. (hemodynamics lab - our Contribution to rhe unwanted dog problem.) Celebrity assistant-instructors included Mick Jacgger andJim Ryan. An emotional highlight of Physiology was Dr Pitkow s storming our of class in response to continuing giddiness from several of our less socially-developed classmates His anger was such that some feared he would smash his self-bought Super- 7

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class bookies Lived odds dm (his was about as Ukel as the Phillies winning a World denes. The year-end Roast gave us u chance tor some good-natured revenge Mick, wearing u Mickey Mouse cap and standing behind a screen, successfully walked the bine line between mockery and disrespect Remember, kind instructors, that we re laughing with you and not at you Skip did some hilarious impressions, it'you could figure out who he was trying to be. The arrival of summer allowed us to work on our tans or Pmbryology. It would he three summers before some students could develop tan lines to speak of. Till HISTORY OF TNF CLASS, PART II Second year began, our year devoted to insidious, debilitating diseases, to virulent, pathogenic microbes, to horrifying and crippling callosities. If this sound disturbing, it was. Students commonly contract what they study, and there was more than one outbreak of hallux limicus Pathology was our only course ro be taught by a contingent from the l. .. Dr. Kay told numerous jokes and stories bur the punchlines were always in British. Horn Drs. Seo and De Ton? we learned the essentials of carshmoma Dr. Arden served as the token American. Microbiology ran the gamut from the common cold to boa-boa (didn't he play shortstop ). On some dais Micro seemed geared to those who were planning to practice in Pago-Pago. Bo ami Roman counted heads and discussed keem-rhcr-Pl '■ tics, respectively. Dr. Axlcr's rationale for including San Joaquin Valley fever in the course was priceless: If you don't See these diseases here, you 'll ne cr see them, laths were not for the hunt-hearted. It's Hard ro Relax When You've Cot Anthrax to the tunc of All Along the W atchtow er ) Don 't point that Petrie dish at me Flame your loop somewhere else Am disease on might want to catch Is sitting infectiously on that shelf The precautions we know are great M.n he it 's just my neurosis But all it takes is one errant spore And you vc gor blastomycosis Handle (bar needle with thought and Care Prevent an accidental stab I know m wife will never believe I caught a case of the clap m lab During our second year we had the honor of meeting PCPMs resident legend. Dr. Charles Kraus . Dr. Kraus 's enthusiasm and zest for life were an inspiration ro us all. He also docs an excellent imitation of Mick Bolognini. Another legendary figure in our midst was King Harold Schoenhaus I. DP M. King Harold's rales of triples and highspeed highway escapades only added to his legend His resident would proctor the rests if he wasn't busy polishing the King's chariot, a starch Ben . Students who decided ro gun for a spot in the cameloc of JFK began working on their waxing skills. There aregrc.it dangers in developing the mind ar the expense of the body. We were always conscious of (his and were quick