Temple University School of Podiatric Medicine - Achilles Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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Please say it’s a lark I liked working in the dark! Bill Bowman woncha please come home! Won't you come home Bill Bowman? Won't you come home? Your stunts were kinda neat. It’s now the middle of summer It's ninety degrees You'd best turn on the heat. The coffee machine is working It’s really sad. There's no rust on any chrome. Say you'll come back up I liked coffee with no cup! And now, a real song written by Irving Berlin in 1924 feelings during the Summer of 1980. Bill Bowman woncha please come home. Oh please come back Bill Bowman! Won’t you come home? The cjocks are all set right Remember that rainy evening You said Don't fret This building's sealed tight! That's when the leaking started And we called you up -You fell asleep on the phone! Come back for Goodness sake I liked working in a lake! Bill Bowman woncha please come home r his Music Box Revue. Incredibly, it captures our LAZY — Irving Berlin (1924) Lazy, I wanna be lazy, I wanna be Out in the sun With no work to fce done. Under the awning they call the sky Stretchin’ and yawnin' I'll let the world go drifting by. I wanna peep through the deep Tangled wild wood Counting sheep 'till I sleep Like a child would. With a great big valise — full Of books to read Where it's peaceful While I'm killing time Bein' lazy. CLASS STRUGGLE DEPT. IV ROUND FOUR This is Howard Cosell once again with my analyst, Muhammad Ali, ready for the big Final round. I see you got your toupee groomed during the break, Howard. Yes, Ali. Several PCPM faculty members told me where to go. I’ll tell you where to go, Cosell. Tell me, Champ, what do you expect to see in the final round of this nip and tuck brawl?” A lot of nipping and tucking.

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 Well, Champ, I'm afraid it is. You see we have to return to our network stations briefly for a new game show. EXTERN. EXTERN — READ ALL ABOUT IT! DEPT. This was an embarrassing game show that even Chuck Barris turned down, The Extern Lottery. (Applause, applause) And now. your host and Master of Ceremonies, Art Fleming. (Applause, applause) Thank you, audience. As you know the Extern Lottery is a game where the ability to concentrate pays off. And the student who receives all of his or her first-choice programs wins the grand prize — seven million dollars!!! (Applause, applause) And as you all know, contestants, this has never been done. So here we go folks, let's play the Extern Lottery. (Applause, applause) . . . I’ll take Northlake for fifty. Art .... YOUR HIT PARADE DEPT. Here you'll find enough diversion to keep this prose minorly interesting. Okay, now EVERYBODY! GOIN’ WITH IT (to the tune of Ballin' the Jack ) First you take your test pad And hold it tight Skive it to the left And bevel to the right Add some Naugahyde so they look real nice Then pour yourself some Bourbon (Throw away the ice!) Stick ’em in the wrong shoes And then you say “Listen, little lady These don't work anyway And then you charge 'em so much That they go throw a fit And that's what I call Goin' with it If the patient then says, My feets still ache Look ’em in the eye And proceed to make A Molocovered insole (affix it with glue) And you'll find that Dr. Hymes Will be proud of you. If you crave some more dough Then use (J.M.O.'s Make sure you squirt some Voltex On the patient's clothes And if your patient says. You're a dumb little twit You just say, Look. I'm goin' with it Cavus pads and heel pads. They make good sense Specially if you owe a few Car payments. And the patients love 'em Cause they look real fine. (These dummies think they work It’s matter over mind!) Use these little tips And watch your practice grow If someone asks you who said so Just say I don't know! If you take my advice In a Rolls Royce you’ll sit ’Cause you were always Goin’ with it! WONT YOU COME HOME BILL BOWMAN (to the tune of Bill Bailey ) Won't you come home Bill Bowman? Won’t you come home? Things here are too damn right! Remember that air conditioner You set on High On that cold winter night? And all those lights were working It’s not the same (Like a beer that has lost its foam)

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BONG Well, the more things change, the more they stay the same. It was September the second. Letters we received over the summer told us not to miss registration. It would b the last time we would all be together. Is that why only fifty people showed? Dr. Bates gave us his annual pep talk. Where have we heard that before? How about September 1979, 1978 and 1977? We were then handed our registration packets complete with our schedules for our fourth year. What a shame we never had a course in cryptology so that we could figure it all out. We were introduced to the new kid on the block. Dr. Burns ( Say goodnight. Grade”) who quickly announced the formation of 8:00 AM Orthopedics conferences. Just like in Surgery. Ah . . . who liked sex in the mornings anyways? Dr. Burns introduced another innovation at PCPM — the instant evaluation. Now you didn't have to wait until the semester ended to find out what an idiot you were. Can I have your signature, Doctor, so I can discharge my patient? (Scribble, scribble, evaluate, evaluate) ZIPPP! I'm giving you an AVERAGE' on your last sentence. As a fourth year student you should know proper grammar. It's, May I have your signature,' not, Can I.’ Dr. Burns gets an 'AVERAGE' for his idea. Otherwise, the clinic offered its same cache of games. In Diagnosis it was Cherchez la Clincian,” and in Surgery it was Hustle la P 6 A’s. Lee's familiar voice rang out over the PA system (Is it Lee, or is it Memorez?): twelve for Orthopdeics. six for Surgery, seventy four for PM. and a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich to go. Hold the Mayo scissors! Happy news. The building’s steadfast cleaning woman successfully underwent delicate surgery to have a telephone receiver removed from her right ear .... And the Xerox machine was still broken .... There wasn’t much in the way of classes — as anybody who went to those classes could tell you. Dr. Zulli presented us with a novel way to read X-Rays ( Look at them! ), Dr. Hymes taught us a few more initials, and Dr. Rega, et. al., taught us how to be excellent surgeons, provided our patients were cadavers. And sometime after the classroom hours, the clinic, the allieds, the labs, and all the rest, it happened — the transformation. Dr. Frankenstein was completed. Out of a lifeless mass of tissue was created ... A DOCTOR. It was a long time coming. BONG BONG BONG-BONG And that's it. Ladies and Gentlemen, the fight is over! After a long and sometimes unruly battle, both combatants have returned to their respective corners. What did you think of the last round, Ali?” Well, Howard. I give it easily to the class. They breezed through that final round. Maybe the Faculty gave in a little realizing that some of them will be on their side in the near future. Possible, Champ. Anyway . .. here comes CASPR the friendly, but overpriced referee with the decision ... and ... it’s for THE CLASS!!! The Class of 1981 wins!!! They'll probably celebrate by running up the steps of the Philadelphia Academy of Music. Well, folks, that's it from Philadelphia. Stay tuned for Leonard Nimoy in In Search Of ... The Class of 1985.' Michael M. Breggar And Now, For the First Time Anywhere The All New. Bright And Shiny New Models From PCPM The Class Of Nineteen-Eighty One