Temple University School of Podiatric Medicine - Achilles Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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students win money by debriding neuropathic feet while blindfolded. THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DIS-KNEE- The premiere show presents the classic Film. -The Mark of Sore-O . Buster Kwell Crabbe stars as a podiatry student with a short fuse and dull blades who gets a kick out of challenging his patients to duels with Hyphercators at twenty paces. 60 MINUTES- Weekly news program about students waiting for clinicians' signatures. HUSK ROGERS IN THE 25th CENTURY- Science-fiction series about an astronaut, who in 1985 takes a tour of a Maxim factory, slips and tumbles into a processor where he is Freeze-dried. Five hundred years later, he is revived and finds himself on a planet of ointment worshippers where he becomes king. STEDMAN TURNS IN HIS GRAVE DEPT. Despite the fact that we heard the word “Surgerize every other hour, be it known - there is no such word. Keeping in this saphenous vein, here are some more words that are commonly misconstrued. ANATOMY- Surgical procedure for the removal of gnats. KENELOG- A diary kept in a dog hospital. GOAT- Gout in Canada. P.V.D.- A communicable disease of small, green, round vegetables HELOMA- How you greet your mother on the telephone BREAD- What the Japanese patient did when he was debrided. PODIATRY- A shrub from which you pick podias. NOTES TO YOU DEPT. ... MEMO TO DR. V. MANDRACCHIA .. . You continuously mentioned how you wanted to be remembered in our yearbook as the man who could not pronounce MOLYBDENUM . You always said, I can see it now. 'Mandracchia can't say Molybdenum. Mandracchia can’t say Molybdenum.' Well, sorry Dr. M., we will not stoop to that level of suggestion by mentioning even once that you cannot pronounce Molybdenum. CLASS STRUGGLE DEPT. Ill ROUND THREE Welcome back to the arena, folks, for the third round of this marvelously dramatic altercation. We would like to keep you informed, up close and personal if you will, of what happened just after the bell ending the second round. In an episode of incredible mettle, the faculty simultaneously exchanged their trunks. Then suddenly, some left the stadium to move on to different rings and new battlegrounds, and others just retired to the corner and wandered about aimlessly. I don't know, Howard. It didn’t look too aimless to me.” Did I ask for your opinion, Ali? Anyway, fans, follwing the bell ending the second round, the class made a sudden dash to a huge, sprawling Ivy League university where they were locked up in rooms either cold enough to store meat or hot enough to broil it. We're not too sure about what followed folks, but our sources tell us that the class was interrogated until they confessed all basic medical science knowledge. We do not know if they were tortured at all — but we do believe so from the look on their faces as they left the rooms. Look Howard, the class is reentering the stadium. Right you are. Champ. And every single one of them is smiling. Maybe they all just had sex.

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by men with the minds of bacteria. But we did learn .... Microbiology was a good course, where thousands of instructors taught us about just as m ny infectious diseases. At times it was tough and frustrating. We felt all those rods were shafting us. At times, it was challenging- like learning to say Bohdan Terleckyj correctly (let alone to Spell it). But, like good broad spectrum antibiotics, we conquered those bugs. Pathomechanics was a lesson in name calling, silly banter, and abnormal foot function. The course was a Root awakening- but through all that torque, we discovered that there wasn’t an anomaly in nature that could not be treated with orthotics. In that course we also learned that Manny Alete had a sharp wit, John Dahdah could take a joke, and that Eliot Wolf was a great impressionist. We also discovered that Dr. Schoenhaus was as good a teacher as he was a dresser. In pharmacology, we learned our drugs and wondered which instructors were taking which ones. We already knew which drugs we would have liked some of the instructors to take. The Musketeers of the Clinical Podiatry seminars gave us a macroscopic look at our profession, and Dr. Lemont gave us a microscopic look (for everyone who ever wanted to look at a callus under a microscope.) We had our first taste of surgery from a chain smoking, hacking, general surgeon who used to beep during his lectures, and from a note-happy PCPM surgery department. A nice, General-like OR lady taught us everything else we needed to know about surgery- like how to put a glove on, how to dress in paper clothing, and how to wash our hands to get rid of cartoon germs. The rest of the time was punctuated with a walking encyclopedia of nail diseases, a radiologist with a spinning bow-tie, a pathologist who knew us only by our footgear, and two well read podiatric roentgenologists, one of whom had an unpronounceable last name. At the end of the academic year, we were all tired, burnt out and still haunted by the assumed horrors of the Qualifying exam. (What pad would you like to make? Gh .. a note pad? ) To make matters worse, we were all afraid to look ahead to the summer which meant clinic (You mean we have to treat these people-alone?! ) and the new disaster movie from ETS: National Boards — I. OH nooo ... BONG • What an exhilarating second round. Breathtaking and diverse. It seemed like the Faculty had the Class on the ropes .... On the bottle, Howard. It was like your old Rope a Dope technique, Champ, except it appeared that the Faculty did it better. But the Class of 1981 never did succumb to the pressure. They have a shot at winning this classic. What do you think, Ali? I’m getting sick of you, Cosell. SUMMER RERUNS DEPT. More missed television shows. DEBRIDING FOR DOLLARS- The only game show to be seen in prime time this year. Third year podiatry

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 I strongly doubt it, Champ. But perhaps ... wait a minute folks ... a bulletin has just been handed to me ... It explains why they are smiling ... According to this bulletin, the class has just been informed that they can begin Round Three! • BONG • ... Ahhhh . .. The year before THE year. We’ll take it easy, won’t we? No problems, no hassles, right? We’ll all be able to concentrate on clinical learning, and, in our spare time, residency paranoia, right? After all — no more grades — who can worry with pass fail? It will be a very good year, right? Wrong, Neurology breath! This was a mathematical year; many plusses, plenty of minuses, lots of division, and binomial multiplication (read — double crosses). Amazingly, there was no equal in this equation year. The fractions were simple. You begin the year as half a doctor, and end it as three-quarters a doctor. The year’s courses demonstrated an example of reverse alchemy. Gold was turned to lead. The throwaways became major, and the Majors became Captains. Surgery was ... well, Surgery. 'Nuff said. PVD, Internal Medicine, Traumatology, and, despite the course logistics. General Orthopedics, were all B.T. courses (’Bout Time). Dermatology was a big little course taught by a funny little man who never ever removed his hat or his pipe. What was in his pipe? Comparing his lecture notes with his exams left little doubt. Speaking of pipes, we all sat in amazement watching a funny basketball player teaching us Anesthesiology. And, because our necks were cranked back so we could see this instructor — we never did find out who taught Community Health. Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation, and Statistical Epidemiology ... And then, there was Neurology ... Psychiatry was a crazy (get it) mix of ballet and insecurity. Orthotics and Prosthetics was just crazy (I can see it now: Mrs. Jones, your case of Ewings can be easily treated with a SCRTC slash-two, three, four, and a prescription for MOLO, T.I.D. ) .... And then there was Neurology .... God did not rest on the eighth day as we all have been told. After He created the earth and the planets and the stars, put creatures on the earth to graze in His meadows and drink His water, created the beautiful mountains and canyons and all the lovely flora ... He created Newmans. Thousands of Newmans. Billions of Newmans. Droves of Newmans. The Bible should have read The Newmans shall inherit the earth. And all of them either taught at PCPM or were talked about by those who taught at PCPM ... And then, there was Neurology ... Podopediatrics was taught by a brash, young instuctor, who moved up and down the classroom aisles like Monty Hall. Would YOU make a deal for one of these three doors knowing that behind one of them is Blount's disease? The course was an interesting two hours crammed into one. And none of us got zonked . ... But then, there was Neurology ... Mister Rogers managed, somehow, to leave the neighborhood once a week to teach us Sports Medicine. Can you say. Basket weave Gibney dressing? Sure you can. I knew you could. A nice man. A nice course . . But, then there was Neurology. The Vietcong missed out. They overlooked the nastiest of all tortures. It was Russian Roulette with 22 bullets — eleven of which were real. But, somehow, our stalwart determination and prowess of denial got us through the mess. The postscript read: Hooray — the hostages have been freed! • BONG • All I can say about that round, Ali, is ‘Whew!’ I wish it were all you could say, Howard.”