Temple University School of Podiatric Medicine - Achilles Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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by men with the minds of bacteria. But we did learn .... Microbiology was a good course, where thousands of instructors taught us about just as m ny infectious diseases. At times it was tough and frustrating. We felt all those rods were shafting us. At times, it was challenging- like learning to say Bohdan Terleckyj correctly (let alone to Spell it). But, like good broad spectrum antibiotics, we conquered those bugs. Pathomechanics was a lesson in name calling, silly banter, and abnormal foot function. The course was a Root awakening- but through all that torque, we discovered that there wasn’t an anomaly in nature that could not be treated with orthotics. In that course we also learned that Manny Alete had a sharp wit, John Dahdah could take a joke, and that Eliot Wolf was a great impressionist. We also discovered that Dr. Schoenhaus was as good a teacher as he was a dresser. In pharmacology, we learned our drugs and wondered which instructors were taking which ones. We already knew which drugs we would have liked some of the instructors to take. The Musketeers of the Clinical Podiatry seminars gave us a macroscopic look at our profession, and Dr. Lemont gave us a microscopic look (for everyone who ever wanted to look at a callus under a microscope.) We had our first taste of surgery from a chain smoking, hacking, general surgeon who used to beep during his lectures, and from a note-happy PCPM surgery department. A nice, General-like OR lady taught us everything else we needed to know about surgery- like how to put a glove on, how to dress in paper clothing, and how to wash our hands to get rid of cartoon germs. The rest of the time was punctuated with a walking encyclopedia of nail diseases, a radiologist with a spinning bow-tie, a pathologist who knew us only by our footgear, and two well read podiatric roentgenologists, one of whom had an unpronounceable last name. At the end of the academic year, we were all tired, burnt out and still haunted by the assumed horrors of the Qualifying exam. (What pad would you like to make? Gh .. a note pad? ) To make matters worse, we were all afraid to look ahead to the summer which meant clinic (You mean we have to treat these people-alone?! ) and the new disaster movie from ETS: National Boards — I. OH nooo ... BONG • What an exhilarating second round. Breathtaking and diverse. It seemed like the Faculty had the Class on the ropes .... On the bottle, Howard. It was like your old Rope a Dope technique, Champ, except it appeared that the Faculty did it better. But the Class of 1981 never did succumb to the pressure. They have a shot at winning this classic. What do you think, Ali? I’m getting sick of you, Cosell. SUMMER RERUNS DEPT. More missed television shows. DEBRIDING FOR DOLLARS- The only game show to be seen in prime time this year. Third year podiatry

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DON'T MAKE AIR WAVES DEPT. Our generation, short of being war babies, was weaned on television. Much of our life, though we deny it at times, was strongly influenced by the programs on the box (just ask Marshall McLuhan). As a service to the class - here are some of the TV programs we missed while we were studying so hard during our first year. Mow, you'll understand why A.B. and N.B. see B.S. MR. DEAD- A new comedy series about a first year medical student who is assigned a talking cadaver. MATRIX- Mike Connors stars in his new detective story as an insurance investigator who helps people find lost limbs. MAILSMOKE- The season's only Western. This show deals with a cowboy named Onycho Masterson who treats horses for congenital talipes equinus. Raymond Barrel Burr stars. AIKEM IS ENOUGH- The new warm family series about a typical surburban family that always has multiple foot surgeries together. P A S H- A big hit. This is an excellent new show about emergency podiatrists stationed on the front line during the construction of the commuter tunnel. The superb cast includes Alan Alda as the irreverant Benjamin Franklin Porce, known to his friends as Clavi”; Wayne Rodgers as his bunk-mate Skin-Flapper John; Jamie Farr as the riotous, loony Klinger who bucks for discharge by wearing nothing but surgical gauze; and Gary Burghoff as Doppler. CLASS STRUGGLE DEPT II ROUND TWO We are back folks, for the second round of this outstanding bout that my colleague, Muhammed Ali, has nicknamed. The Thrilly in Philly.” The combatants have been resting in their respective corners for three months and are itching to get going again.” I don’t know Howard. Maybe it's because they've tasted that microwave popcorn. Well, whatever it was Ali. this great battle is about to resume.” BOMG • We all had hopes for the new school year. It started off on a nice note- at least weatherwise. The scorching humidity of the weeks before simmered down to a pleasantly cool first week of September. The comfortably crisp weather of October was not far away. The Phillies were in first place heading for the playoffs and there were signs of a good year for the Eagles and the Sixers. What a shame we were not a Philadelphia sports team. Medically speaking, in the first year we learned the way things should be. This year, we were to learn the way they shouldn't be. Everything you would ever want to know about medical pathologies was to be taught to us! Sort of a Medical Murphy's law. It was an exciting year of physiological wrongness. From the millions of pathogens in Microbiology, to the millions of syndromes in Pathology, to the billions of obscure disease names in Podiatric Pathology. The students who did well in these courses were given honorary Magna Cum Laudes from Harry Lorayne’s Memory School ... And the Xerox machine was still broken---- We ambled through courses about bacteria with the minds of men , and sat through some lectures given

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students win money by debriding neuropathic feet while blindfolded. THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DIS-KNEE- The premiere show presents the classic Film. -The Mark of Sore-O . Buster Kwell Crabbe stars as a podiatry student with a short fuse and dull blades who gets a kick out of challenging his patients to duels with Hyphercators at twenty paces. 60 MINUTES- Weekly news program about students waiting for clinicians' signatures. HUSK ROGERS IN THE 25th CENTURY- Science-fiction series about an astronaut, who in 1985 takes a tour of a Maxim factory, slips and tumbles into a processor where he is Freeze-dried. Five hundred years later, he is revived and finds himself on a planet of ointment worshippers where he becomes king. STEDMAN TURNS IN HIS GRAVE DEPT. Despite the fact that we heard the word “Surgerize every other hour, be it known - there is no such word. Keeping in this saphenous vein, here are some more words that are commonly misconstrued. ANATOMY- Surgical procedure for the removal of gnats. KENELOG- A diary kept in a dog hospital. GOAT- Gout in Canada. P.V.D.- A communicable disease of small, green, round vegetables HELOMA- How you greet your mother on the telephone BREAD- What the Japanese patient did when he was debrided. PODIATRY- A shrub from which you pick podias. NOTES TO YOU DEPT. ... MEMO TO DR. V. MANDRACCHIA .. . You continuously mentioned how you wanted to be remembered in our yearbook as the man who could not pronounce MOLYBDENUM . You always said, I can see it now. 'Mandracchia can't say Molybdenum. Mandracchia can’t say Molybdenum.' Well, sorry Dr. M., we will not stoop to that level of suggestion by mentioning even once that you cannot pronounce Molybdenum. CLASS STRUGGLE DEPT. Ill ROUND THREE Welcome back to the arena, folks, for the third round of this marvelously dramatic altercation. We would like to keep you informed, up close and personal if you will, of what happened just after the bell ending the second round. In an episode of incredible mettle, the faculty simultaneously exchanged their trunks. Then suddenly, some left the stadium to move on to different rings and new battlegrounds, and others just retired to the corner and wandered about aimlessly. I don't know, Howard. It didn’t look too aimless to me.” Did I ask for your opinion, Ali? Anyway, fans, follwing the bell ending the second round, the class made a sudden dash to a huge, sprawling Ivy League university where they were locked up in rooms either cold enough to store meat or hot enough to broil it. We're not too sure about what followed folks, but our sources tell us that the class was interrogated until they confessed all basic medical science knowledge. We do not know if they were tortured at all — but we do believe so from the look on their faces as they left the rooms. Look Howard, the class is reentering the stadium. Right you are. Champ. And every single one of them is smiling. Maybe they all just had sex.