Temple University School of Medicine - Skull Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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INVOCATION Tell me. Muse, of the man of many ways. Odysseus who was driven far on hard journeys. After long struggles, and hitter death of beloved friends in the small college town of llion, he was finally accepted by the Pre-Med Committee, and recommended Highly. We feel that he definitely might do well probably”; and not long after was invited to tread the hallowed halls of the glorious Temple Medical Academy, whose shining name is sung abroad from the pot-holed Iberian streets of Fifth and Lehigh, to the boundaries of Nicetown where the motto is Shoot ’em up, then shoot 'em down”, over to the kingdom of Frankford to whose people no disease is unknown. And this Temple is still close enough to the high schools of Montgomery County so that the faculty may live there and ride to work on the shining Expressway. Next let me sing of the bitter trials as he made his way homeward. His battle with Cyclops, Skylla and Charybdis; the trip to Erebos: hard storms, bitter hunger; and always the honeyed voice of the Sirens calling him to abandon his great enterprise. And now, great Muse, help us find Odysseus -beyond all other men in mind, and who, beyond others, has given sacrifice to the gods - help us find him at the table of Alkinoos, king of the Phaiacians unsurpassed in the art of navigation, whose sleek vessels are strangers to no part of the far flung seas. 6

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PRE -MED AT TROY COLLEGE So Alkinoos arose, and addressing his guests, said: Distinguished Lords and ladies of the Phaiacian people, we are gathered to celebrate the graduation of a stranger accomplished in all the fields revered and practiced by civilized people such as we. He has shown us his power against our best men in boxing and wrestling. Far has he hurled the arcing discus, steady his hand with the shining scalpel: cunning and street wise is he in eliciting the essential history; deep reaching, a sorcerer, in plying the wondrous medications against all manner of disease; and. above all skill, his great spirit glows to soothe the wounded spirit of the sick, and make them love him as a healer. Here we shall eat of the sweet meat, drink the deep wine as is fit at the celebration of Graduation; and our honored guest will tell the tale of how he came to this place and time. Then we will give him conveyance to Ithaka, his home, as is the wont of Phaiacians, who give aid unquestioned to any traveler. Our sleek vessels cross the waters without helmsmen or navigator, knowing the wills and purpose of their journey, as if hy divine inspiration. So spake Alkinoos, and resourceful Odysseus arose, saying So shall it be, and I shall tell you the story without omission, starting at the beginning. Eight years past did I first set eyes upon the college called Troy with my ten ships of Ithakan men all raised from their mother's laps to speed and strength. There did we meet the parties from Mykeno; the troops of fair haired Menelaos; all the numbers of the hard-greaved Achaians come to fight for Helen, whose skin is golden, like a wheat field in the prairie, and in whom reside learning, truth, the opportunity for goodly advancement, and above all, the chance of getting to Med School. Hot were we in spirit, ready for easy victory. None prepared for years of bitter struggle, wrenching loss of dear friends whose lifeblood stained the hanging dust. Inconclusive was our battle, in the balance back and forth, our armies evenly matched. Sometimes with easy A's did we prevail in Biologos, Psychologos I and II, Art History and Frisbee 101, but then in bitter onslaught, back to the walls of our beached vessels did the Trojans oppress us. stopping the mouths of beloved companions with heavy death by Physical Kemistry, Organic Kemistry. ugly Fysiks, while all around by infinitesimal decrements were our men wasted by that C-grade-giving slayer Differential Kalkulus. Until finally, after three years in the bitter struggle and a 3.0 average, in close counsel with the leaders of all the Greeks, did I, Odysseus, propose this strategem. No more in open onslaught would we contend with the shining armored Trojans. Rather, a hollow horse would we prepare, finely wrought with gold burnished flanks, amethyst bedecked, and with six legs. Set out was the hollow horse with diverse distractions. Interests did we espouse in Islam, The Applicant' 8