Temple University School of Law - Restatement Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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 teto of (Pur “bales’’ ftoottt By George W. Phillips Once upon a dark night dreary, While I pondered, weak and weary, Dragging Sales Late through my mental door. My attention was distracted From the lecture so protracted By the sound of forty voices (I said forty, maybe more). ’Twas a night in bleak December, How I very well remember— Prof was trying hard to get the floor; Suddenly there came a yapping, It was Oscar Friedman gapping, Oscar with his cavern yapping—only Oscar, nothixig more. Vanished were all thoughts of study; Turning 'round I shook my buddy; And my shake produced a healthy snore. But in some this dogged shaking Had my friend and colleague waking, Waking to a world of chaos—bedlam never known before. “Shame on you! Asleep I found you! While your fellow-students 'round you Sivallow bucketfuls of legal lore! Thus I spake, with feigned emotion: Gaze on their enrapt devotion! (But the hearty laughter in my sleeve 'most had my elbow sore.) On my words my neighbor pondered, While his optics slowly wandered O’er the effervescent group before. Salty tears his eyes were filling. Soon they uncontrolled were spilling, Forming little winding streamlets crawling down the dusty floor. Gad! moaned Harry (that's my pard-ner), “Look at Collmer reading Gardner— Gouley list’ning for the fire’s roar. Johnny Twinn his curls is combing— Klein is singing, ‘In the Gloaming,’ All the legal minds are roaming—not on Sales, no, nevermore!’’ Sad but true, the words he uttered. As he spoke from grief he shuddered; Sacrilege like that he did abhor. And his woe, it was well-founded, For on painful truth ’twas grounded. Such majestic inattention never was there known before. Oscar Brown the bull was throwing. Miss Grisel was calmly sewing. Blank was reading cases by the score. Curran at Miss Hobart winking, Pat Moran was loudly thinking. My poor side-kick, softly sobbing, murmured, “Never, nevermore! Gottlieb, with ornate gyration. Started on a dissertation. Worth was adding to the great uproar. Miss Magee, in manner tricky. Telling bedtime tales to Wickey. Though 'twas catalogued a lecture, sounded much more like a war. Loiuenthal, expos tula t ing, With Bill Spofford was debating. Rose ioas laying down the Jersey “Lawr.’’ Cobbin shooting off the knowledge That he learned at business college. “Can you beat it, mate? I queried. Quoth the raving, “Nevermore! Cross-word puzzles Todd was corkin’, Creskoff buried deep in Jurgen. Gilbride reading news, ami so was Korr. Stanzione, though, let me mention. Tried his best to pay attention— Such a hopeless bit of effort in that overwhelming roar. Crawford Battle, Sales ignoring. Was unth Ellsworth Keeley snoring. Twenty chairs were scraping on the floor. Toal the “Weekly was perusing. Even Mister Jue was snoozing. While the moments by were oozing— oozing to return no more. 107

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When he started discussions in class none of the instructors seemed to see his viewpoint, nor did liis classmates, they were just as stupid; but Willie was charitable and felt sorry for them. After all, some of these men were only old fashioned judges or lawyers who depended on a bunch of decisions written by men who died even before the Ten Plagues were revised to include the Japanese Beetle and Fords. The Boob was blessed with keen eyesight, and had no trouble in passing his school examinations. Mow he ever got by his Bars will go down as one of the world’s unsolved mysteries, and also its ninth wonder, but even examiners get weary at times, and they might have been taking a mental siesta while going over the papers. Then came his first case. There would be nothing to it. Why depend on decisions that were made to fit conditions dealing with another age when we were living in such a modern era? Why not forget the legal technicalities and argue it on what he considered a common sense basis? Unfortunately for our Hero, as the movie sub-titles would say, he was out of luck. The Judge had been out late the night before, the cook had just left, his wife had given him bum biscuits for breakfast, his mother-in-law had come for one of those indefinite “few days” stays, and rheumatism was bothering his right leg again. As for the jury, they were not bribed by Willie’s adversary—no, they were on the regular pay-roll; wldle his client had a record that would make Jesse James look like the “Age of Innocence.” Well, as A1 Klein says, “to make a short story longer,” Willie not only lost his case, but was fined one hundred dollars for contempt. When last heard of, he was being led away to the Nut Factory shouting, “Cite me, kid! I’m Corpus Juris.” X AT I! A NIEL X AT HAN SON Hirst Law Library I OR

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Nate and Hod; their yams were spinning. White and Levy listened, grinning. Rosenthal said, I hid twenty-four. Comanor, with merry chuckle. Melded aces and pinochle. Such a gang the prof was praying to hr cursed with nevermore. ildlctt, thinking time of essence. Modestly announced his presence, .4« he’d done a hundred times before. Holder, by John Finney beckoned. Threw his molars into second. Adam was with Abie Freedman playing checkers on the floor. Ten o'clock! The lecture ended! Sixty sounds in one were blended. Sixty forms went flying toward the door. For a week then, no more circus To refresh should studies irk ns. Will ice ever have stick fun as in the “Salesroom ? NRVRRMOIcr!!! Temple Law Library