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Page 15 text:
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arrth m he teeth are those useful and more or less ornamental appliances situated behind the grin factory midway between your bald spot and your first vest-button and used (or the purpose ol chewing the r.« There are various kinds of teeth, long, short, flat and irregular, besides milk teeth or toofies” as the fond mother designates the outfit which her progeny first develops in this world of sin ( before lie gets his teeth he is a funny little sucker. I loothoma, tooth-erup-tion and toothache completes the list that grow naturally, false teeth and a few other varieties may be raiseJ artificially. Teeth are found in the Human Race and many other quadrupeds, as cows, kittens, cogwheels, combs, saws etc The chief uses of teeth arc to make dents in boarding-house beefsteak, and to wear away the pies that mother used to make. Some people use them to spit through. If a person uses plaster teeth Ite is called a freshman, if he has gold teeth he is an advertisement, and 11
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Page 14 text:
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IUUKS M. I'OUT rR i.tOfK'.f: WHSUt MMlS P. M»!»M S' COHYtiON II Wol.COM I’KASK J UVtllA AS IO
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Page 16 text:
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If a person who has teeth eats, as so many people with teeth do. he Is very apt to get holes in his teeth which become filled up with toothache. Bacon tells us that this is a kind of a hug. hut we think he is bughouse Toothache is a thing you don't want and can't give away. When you get toothache, you go to a dentist and get it made worse. We don’t know-why this is. hut it is the custom. Finally you go to the dentist and get the tooth extracted. tx-traction means the Liking out of anything, and a dentist takes all he can get out of you. A dentist is a foxy guy. R. E. M. if he has no teeth he is a monstrosity. By looking at a horse's teeth you tan tell his age, by looking man’s teeth you can tell him anything, and he will believe you. It Is expensive for the man hut good for the dentist. There arc some teeth which are dead ones ’ Dead ones are those that play billiards all night and do not get around to eight o'clock lectures Some people may doubt this, but what are billiard-balls but ivories t 12
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