Temple University School of Chiropody - Tempodian Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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CLASS WILL TESTAMENT STANLEY S. STERBAKOV We, the class of 1958, being of confused mind and broken body, do hereby bequeath our worldly and unworldly possessions and memories as follows, in the hope of leaving our school a better place to skive in. We leave: to Dr. Bates, for those pastboard slips, 3,486,192 paper clips; to Dr. BelolT, for whom we had to write and write, fifteen pounds of blackboard chalk (white) ; to Dr. Brickley. in the orthopedics lab no rube, four years supply of cut-up inner tube; to Dr. Briglia. to entertain a point, a three-day pass to the medio-distal joint; to Dr. Carlcton. to help him pad much faster, two handfuls of melted cedar plaster; to Dr. Christ, expert in school affairs, one dozen metal orthepedic chairs; to Dr. Corn, several 6:30 A.M. shocks, and twenty worn out alarm clocks; to Dr. Cush, who caused no aggravation, one copy, “The Art of Conversation;' to Dr. Digilio, just for remembrance, one day of 100% attendance; to Dr. Drews, one 25 fish-hook needle, for practice, embedded in a beetle; to Dr. Eby, to replace percentages he can't see, the letters of the alphabet, A to E; to Dr. Engel, for his morning classes, one gallon of coffee, and sunglasses; to Dr. Fabii, from whom any microbe hides, 4,316 unused glass microscope slides; to Dr. Feldman, a famous 4th floor orator, a season pass to the elevator; to Dr. Firth, whose diagrams make us freeze, one copy, “How to Draw With Ease;” to Dr. Fisher, to help him list 'em, an Esso road map, “The Nervous System;” to Dr. Forman, with a sly look, one brand new roll book; to Dr. Frankel, never caught dozing or winking, one copy, “The Power of Positive Thinking;” to Dr. Friedman, a manipulator top, one box of Rice Crispies------snap, crackle, pop; to Dr. Guiffre, a joke-teller hot, permanent possession of the front parking spot; to Drs. Graves, Jupina, and tandis, a peak of sixteen surgeries per week; to Drs. Hall, Monaco, and Thomas, for lasts, 20 heirloom Whitman casts; to Dr. Harford, a magnifying lens, and 184 worn-out pens; to Dr. Hoffstein, a split-pea, 33 calibre, and a hazlenut with a caliper; to Dr. Jablon, and his one dread, the numbers ninety to one hundred; to Dr. Aaron Katz, (the one you watch for), one copy, 1984; to Dr. Samuel Katz, a 100,000 word paper. “Introduction to the Study of Vapor;’ to Dr. Kauffman, the midnight lamp, and a cancelled 3%c stamp; to Prof. Leitch, a kidney painted green, and a lucky gold-plated spleen; to Dr. Letlieri, who pulls no punches, seventy-five uneaten lunches; to Dr. Logan, a wiggle and squirm, and one copy, “What to know when you swallow a germ;” to Dr. MacMath, with no disagreements, sixteen free ultrasound treatments; to Dr. Morris, at speaking no beginner, a stopwatch and a warmed-over dinner; to Dr. Newman, the best researcher in North America, a full set of Encylopedla Brittanica; to Dr. Polokoff, a box of Kleenex, full of coagulated latex; to Dr. Quintavalle, in great haste, a legful of Unna-paste; to Dr. Rowe, with a weary moan, one sterile lapel microphone; to Dr. Rowen. from a chemical fire, three yards of trinitro-chickenwire; to Dr. Schacterle, from us grads, twenty moleskin bunion pads; to Dr. Seave, a dynamite van, and one reasonable man; to Dr. John Sharp, an infant tear shower, and one free ticket to Children’s Hour; to Dr. Arthur Sharp, a natty fellow, a huge mycelium pillow; to Dr. Staples, man of fact, a double crossed pyramidal tract; to Dr. Ziegler, we still ring the toll of our new building; to Dr. Zulli, we will finally show, the total of everything we know; 22

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ANTHONY P. SINDONI, B.Mus. Atlantic City, New Jersey JulHard School of Music University of Pennsylvania LaSalle College A.P.S.A. STANLEY S. STERBAKOV Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Temple University Phi Alpha Pi; Class Secretary 1; Art Editor, Footlight 3, 4; A.P.S.A., Delegate 1; Co-Editor, 1958 Tempodian. 21

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to Mr. Conway (Joe, we mean), our empty lockers for him to clean. Now we leave to the administrators of our school, the following items, for the purpose of encouraging them to lead future classes ever higher up to the pinnacle of oblivion. We leave: to Dr. Krausz, our able dean, an onychotome, with edge very keen; to Dr. Bossle, without lapse, 300 pounds of blue leather scraps; to Dr. Lindenberg, chief injector of three nations, thirty thousand screaming patients; to Miss Perry, to figure class standings without pain, one giant electronic brain; to Mrs. Dress, to lighten the burden on her shoulders, eighteen missing unsigned folders; to Mrs. Tibbets, with deep regrets, twenty empty X-ray cassettes. Linton's the parking tickets, the fraternity smokers, the “greasy spoon,” the 2:30 patients, the monthly clinic standups, St. Luke's, Junior mid-years, the fly in the microscope. the mortality rate of bachelors, and graduation. Duly signed in the City of Philadelphia by irresponsible persons, in the presence of two illiterate w ittnesses: Witnesses: 1. X Leo Hood 2. X Leroy Haber CLASS PROPHECY charles r. o’keefe, jr. At great personal sacrifice and risk, your scribe has penetrated to the depths of Witch Circe's cave. There in her subterranean dwelling, amid incantations, spider webs and low flying bats. I beseeched her to reveal the future to our class. The scrawny hag refused, 1 must confess that this made me lose my temper. In fact 1 was so angered that I bashed her repeatedly with my raw-hide hammer, at her anterior medial border. Then, with waning strength, I lifted her by the flange and deposited the remains in a boiling cauldron of clinicians blood. A cloud of vapor arose and in the midst the following future events were revealed. 1. The Chiropody School will graduate a class of thirty students. 2. Hair growing of its own accord on the crown of Jonas Morris. 3. A robot clinician to relieve Dr. Bossle on Monday afternoons. Finally to the school itself, we leave the following souvenirs of great memorial significance and tender thoughts: the three-hour lunch periods, the Oxford Circle car pool, the broken Coke machine, room 302, 4. The abolishment of early morning classes for future O'Keefe’s and Derr’s. 5. A self extinguishing view box light for absent minded students. The gift of Sy Beiser. 6. An automat on each floor for those days the schedule includes no lunch hour. 7. An honorary English degree from Penn for Dr. Carleton. 8. Herb Kallman will grow a beard as a compliment to his mustache and will pose as one of the Smith Brothers. 9. Arnold Huff will be named Chief of Service in the Chiropody Corp of the Confederate Reserve forces. 10. Dr. Christ will take roll at the end of the period. 23