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Page 18 text:
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PAGE 2 LOCAL CONTEMPORARY ARTIST EXHIBITS WORK According to our local art critic, James Good exhibits a new technique a startling realism, and a fresh approach in his paintings of the Tefft Community. During the interview with the famous artist, it was discovered that Mr. Good felt that his success could be directly traced to the development of good habits while under the direction of his editor-in-chief. Lyla Krug. OIL TYCOON RETURNS TO TEFFT Together with his fleet of Cadillacs, 10-gallon hats, and silver spurs, the picturesque Mr. Benjamin Hittle family descended upon the peaceful unsuspecting city of Tefft with all the pomp ceremony that only a multi-millionaire from Texas can manage. It was noted, however, by the reporter'that Mr. Hittle expressed many times his preference for the simple life. He ended the interview by saying. “After all, folks, I’m just a plain-ol’e-Tefft-Boy.” FRANK (BRING ’EM BACK ALIVE) JAGODA RETURNS FROM THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST The courageous, bold, fearless, gallant, dashing, and adventurous Frank Jagoda returns in triumph from his latest brush with danger. Recounting tales of horror that would make most stronghearted men shudder, our gallant hero shrugs of his escapades with a nonchalant air. Knowfn for his rugged he-man appearance, he is nowf considering the possiblity of accepting numerous television offers. Follow this HI-LITE column daily to find out whether Mr. Jagoda decides to join the gliter glamour of the theatrical world or return to his rather lovely existence among nature’s untamed wilderness. LOVELY LYLA TO GRACE TEFFT REUNION At Tefft’s Stork Club last week the curtain opened on the intriguing performance of Liltin Lyla Krug, Tefft’s answer to the Hollywood songstress, Doris Day. The glamorous Miss Krug will appear at the Class Reunion in a lil ol‘ unpretentious cream-colored Cadilac and wearing her inconspicuous w hite ermine coat. Miss Krug has promised to satisfy all autograph seekers and come supplied with red garters and locks of her raven black hair for her public. SMITH TOSSES HAT INTO RING Our local principal of the Tefft Elementary School, Miss Jo-Ann Smith, has been persuaded and prevailed upon to accept the candidancy of senator from Indiana. Miss Smith’s platform includes, among other things, a longer senior week, 3-day week-end, longer vacations, less homework, and fewer examinations. She is at present receiving ardent support from all citizens 16 and below. CELEBRATION TO HONOR CHAMBER OF COMMERCE HEAD A celebration is being planned to honor Mr. Delos Stalbaum who has just been elected to head the Tefft Chamber of Commerce. Because of his colossal success in the public relations department, we are sure Mr. Stalbaum will MAY 24, 1972 handle his present position wit the same amount of success. M Stalbaum, our “homespun humo ist” remains his usual sweet, sh retiring self. His simple philos phy is expressed in the statemer issued to the press, “Shuks, folk it ain’t really nothing.” THE EGG AND ME Our great agricultural leade Mr. Leo Wantola, will begin series on “The Egg Me.” B1 cause of the wide-spread accept ance of his unique theory, M: Wantola is presently engaged i the writing of his memoirs fc Who’s Who in America. His b ography depicting his personal ei perience with the more-feat here set has also received world-wid acclaim. Since his personal-aj: pearance tour coincides with th class reunion, Mr. Wantola ha graciously consented to give a pet sonalized account of his experiem es. Following the lecture, Leo wi present complimentary autograpl ed copies of his latest booklet er titled, “How to Keep Your Fan ily Happy on Eggs and Keep M in Egg Money.”
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Page 17 text:
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WEATHER: 110 in the shade, HEAT WAVE TO CONTINUE. VOL. XX, No. 4 TEFFT, INDIANA May 24, 1972 HI-LITE SPECIAL EDITION DUGGLEBY CAMPAIGNS IN TEFFT Norman Duggleby, President tion and presidential candidate of present his secrets concerning the MOVIE STAR REVISITS HOMETOWN Bill Dobson, widely acclaimed for his latest performance in “An American in Paris—The Big Hangover,” while enroute to Hollywood to receive his latest “Oscar,” will stop at Tefft to visit old friends. His private plane is scheduled to arrive at the local airport Saturday afternoon in time for the 15-year reunion which will be held at the Tefft Community Center. of the National Brewer’s Associa-the Anti-Prohibitionist Party will fabulous formula root beer to his fellow constituents and the Tefft Alumni Association. Norman has excelled in his field and brought among other things fame, honor, and prestige to our fair city. He has also promised to provide drinks on the house—uh, root beer that is. Do come and bring the children. PETUNIA’S PATCH LOCAL BANKER to ADDRESS CLASS of 1972 Our most distinguished banker, Dennis Good, who has served us faithfully for the past 15 years has promised to relate to the senior class of 1972 the secrets of his success. For the past 10 years he has served in the capacity of President of the Jasper County Banking Association. The motto which hangs over his desk and which will also be used as his topic of discourse is the following “your money is just as safe in my bank as if it were in my pocket.” HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO The famed football coach, Mac Quigley, will soon grace our lovely campus in a quest for new and fresh talent to supplement his squad of the Hurrying Hoos-iers of Indiana University. “Old Smudge” as he was known in the good old days has always managed to bring his ferocious eleven to victory. “Old Smudge’s” training has produced more All-American Material in the past ten years than in any other era. We salute you, “Smudge.” Welcome home!!!! GOLDEN BOY to PERFORM at 15-YEAR REUNION The ex-president of Tefft’s Class of ’57, formerly known as Ed Deardorff and now more commonly referred to as “Ed Dear The Golden Boy,” will thrill and delight his former classmates and their families with renditions of the new Broadway smash, Lil Abner. Since his services are in constant demand, we very much ap-presicate his generosity with both his time and money. Dr. Glen Salyer, distinguished garden scholar and authority in his field, will speak before the Tefft Garden Club. He has been engaged in extensive research abroad and only now does he feel competent to address such a noteworthy group. Dr. Salyer with his unique brand of charm, has thoroughly convinced all the good ladies that he is the final authority on all garden problems. Dr. Salyer says, “I’m just a litle petunia in an onion patch.”
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