Taunton High School - Journal Yearbook (Taunton, MA)

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THE JOURNAL having stood on her feet all day, was greatly fatigued. Heavens! exclaimed Miss McKenney, how foolish to stand on your own feet! Burke, the conductor, came up. Fare, said he. Yes, pretty good day. I began to cough. That's right, Menice, the doorman answered, Cough it up. just then the car stopped, and all eyes were turned to Roseltha Sherman, the belle of the town, who daddled down the aisle. My good man, she said, as we approached her stop, which end of the car shall I get out at? Either, the car stops at both ends, broke in Carroll the newsy. Wait 'til I get my clothes on! VVe all turned in wonder toward the door, and in walked Miss Fitz- gibbons with a basket of laundry. Change at the four corners, said Burke to Gladys Eaton, who carried a stenographer's satchel. I'll take my change now, she replied, and dont be so fresh. The conductor and motorman having conferred together, I threw myself out of their arms into the street. The ambulance coming to rest directly over my body, I was left by Burns, the driver, and Coe, the attend- ant, as a false alarm, for no one was to be found. However, Dill, the Aromata Cheese salesman, picked me up and carried me to Dr. Martin's hospital where, under the care of Martha Copeland and Helen Devereaux, combined with the administration of several bottles of Hutchins' Aqua Pura, I was turned out next day by the janitor, joe Tetlow. But my health was not restored. In front of the place, I asked Ripley, the hard beat cop, to direct me to the nearest drug store. Passing down the street, I saw Carr and Chandler in white-wing uniforms cleaning up everything possible. ln- side the drug store--one of the Woodward chain-I asked M. Caswell at the fountain for some of her nose rouge. She looked searchingly, and then whispered to her assistant, F. Bowman, who, in a furtive manner, handed me a glass of root beer. Dick! whispered Mil. Swallowing glass and all, I turned. Sure enough, not a tee but Dickerman the great engineer, who invented the square ball-bearing. Going out, I met Gagliardi. VVl1ere are you living now? Out in one of the superbs in the outshirtsf' 57

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C-r V Q Munavis CLASS PROPHECY I RYI NG A. BROXYN I 'l'IiR I was graduated from the Taunton High School, I studied at Pecan Vniversity where I was graduated with the degree of N. II. T. and became a full-Hedged squirrel on the tree of know- ledge. But twenty years of hard labor was all I could endure. Crack! Crack!! Crack!!! This time it was my brain. My physician prescribed travel as a sure cure-all. In fact he insisted upon it if I desired perman- ent relief. And for months I looked to scenery and change of environ- ment for the elixir of health. But I knew that I did not improve. Children pointed at me, old men gazed at me and shook their heads. Without consulting my physician, I determined now to seek human companionship. I felt that this was my only remaining hope. Besides, I was down to my last nickel. So for safety I placed it in my mouth. Unfortunately a trio of ruffians composed of King, Mason, and Goldstein did me up. In consequence as I awakened from my state of innocuous desuetude, I discovered that I had swallowed the nickel. I leaned against the trolley post to support myself. Upon the approach of the car marked I-Ierringtown, I asked Motorman Cabral if I might ride for a nickel on the inside. Fabral with his accustomed graciousness admitted me. I climbed on and kept my ears open. Said Miss Austin to Miss Ballam, If you'd only move over, one more could sit down. Yes, spoke up Conlon, nosing into the conversation, if Cantoreggi would only get up, the whole carful could be seated. Conlon was looking for local color for his new novel, and Cant, the blacksmith, showed him several shades of blue. Meanwhile Clara Briggs, being tired of strap-hanging, inquired if any of them had homes, as she, 56

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THE JOURNAL Really! I exclaimed. Yes, continued Gag, I've got a bungalow resigned by Miller, ex- ecuted by Mansfield, furnished by L. Nearing, the inferior decorator, with indecent lighting by Taylor, and openwork plumbing by Glynn. I suppose you have a bath? I inquired. Oh, no, laughed Gag, I live there only two months a year. My eye observed a sign Rubber Collars Retreadedl Shoes Oiled with Squeakless Oil!!! I entered the shop, only to find C. McGowan engaged in teaching shoes not to stick out their tongues. I wished him success and went on to Mary Kelliher's Hash House. Hamburg, cup of coffee, I ordered. Bull, chew it. Bossy black in the face, shouted the sunny-haired youth behind the counter, none other than Roger VVitherell. Attracted by the draft, I turned only to find Perra inhaling soup. Good soup, he said. Sounds good, added Maura O'Neil, the waitress. Making a hasty exit ahead of Mary's cash register, I entered the Pay- more Hotel. Sign here, said Needham to a lady ahead of me. No, sir, replied Miss McCaffrey, I'm a business woman, and sign nothing I haven't read over. A little boy, all brass buttons, Bill Swift it looked like, showed her to the elevator. Not wishing to take any chances, I walked up the stairs. jo Parlow, in blue gingham, on hands and knees was operating with a mop and a cake of soap. Do you really believe ignorance is bliss? she inquired, pointing to a. sign, Please Do Not Use Stairs, at the foot of the landing. I don't know, I replied, You seem to be quite happy. I reached my room two jumps ahead of the floor mop. My, but it was cold up there. I went to the phone and called the janitor. Who is it? 'Tis Conway. I want some heat up here. Go die, he replied. I hung up, not wishing to hear any more indecent language. As there was a fireplace in the room, I walked out into the hall in search of something to burn. Under some red buckets on a shelf was a sign, For Fire Purposes Only, by order of the Masterson, McMahon, McNamara Co. The very thing. Taking them in the room, I started a fire. I was now ready for bed. 58