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Page 23 text:
“
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Page 22 text:
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X ir Ya ' ll come. Yeah, ' tis once agin Kickapoo Joy Juice Day in Tappacabbage, U. S. A . , and as the sun sets hind them thar hills the stompin’s just beginnin ' . Ya ' ll jern us wontcha? Come on! There ' s the host, Hard- eye Hardwick, the commoonity ' s lawyer-man, down by the crick where the chow ' s a-cooking. I kin smell the ham-jowl hash a-bubblin ' on the fire, and look yonder who ' s a-taking care of the stirrin ' - none other than those four Davis gals; Ellie Mo, Dodo Ho, Bobo Jo, and Lilly O. Make it potent, gals. The thistle-down slaw is being whupped up by Audey Bug and Philodendron Allen assisted by those herbgrubbers, Rug-head Robinson and Beetle Clark. Over thar bar-b-qu ' in the wild boar ribs are Kooty Haile, Bed-lice Carter, and Dog-tick Parr. Helpin ' them turn the spit and stokin’ the fire are Wooly” Woodland and Rover Thomas. The bread’s being a-baked over thar on them stones by Lotta” Loving and Eggsen Bacon. Out in the cabbage patch a-squeezin ' the drinkin are Wart-nose Clay and Clod-hoppin Evans. The tables is being raised and set by Jasmine Balder- son, Eglantine Doggins, Jonquil” Hutchison, Columbine Crowe, and Honeysuckle Rowe. Come and git it! Thar ' s the call from champeen hog-caller, Lard-lungs Lowery. Sh-h-h! Brother Mud-hole Pierson is gonna ask the blessin’. Now, dig in, folks. Whew! What a growlin’ good meal thet thar was. Now comes the best part of this heah day - the entertainment. Announcer, Dogwood Insley, has jest hollered for the fust act - them trillin ' Dillard twins, Boney-jar and Hairy-arm. They is being accompanied by Andante” Durham on the snake bones, and Moldy Culotta on the chitlin ' drums. Next on the show is thet side-splittin ' comedy team of Rancid-joke Ransone and Worm-bit” Wachsmuth. Ain’t they a scream? Yippee! The gals is a coming. That skirt-twistin’ troupe from Skunk Hollow ain ' t nothing but hard. This is a real internationul group composed of Mau Mau McCloskey, Bogota Sutton, Iberia Schools, Montana Fleet, and Jungleape Ramsey. Wal, folks, that jest about concludes - hie - the doings. Ah’m gonna ask Miss Beri-beri” Dillard to finish us with our commoonity theme song, I seen The Frost On The Punkin Once But I Prefers It On The Cabbage. Now wouldn ' t you know some ' uns would miss the hand-clappin ' - Jest drivin ' up are Jet-propelled Akers, Cornhusk Carreras, Felicite Chenault, and Bin-asked Dawson. Oh, they ' ve jest been to the show in town starring Miss Goldie-Girl Spindle who does a take-off on Mayne Backfield, famous Hollywood star. Wal, till next year - hie - ' bout thish time. . . Hie - That cabbage juice am getting stronger by the minute.
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