Sydney Academy - Record Yearbook (Sydney, Australia)

Page 113 text:

The Gentlemen of the Road were successful in soliciting the price of three basketball tickets from wealthy socialite Cecil Forrestal. Upon enter- ing the stands to witness the ga.me between the Rear Rooney's Road Ravers and the Galloping Ghosts from Gafbarus starring versatile Tom Roach. Star for the Ravers was John Hugh Campbell, who won the game for the Ravers with a good clean, home-run. The press was represented by sports editor Joe MacKinnon. Sauntering down the street the itinerants witnessed a man-on-the-street radio interview conducted fby Florence Epstein, CJ GB 's Gooey Gossip commen- tator. Being interviewed were, the man chosen Mr. Codfishn by the Retail Fish Dealers Association Walter Leonard. Also interviewed was Barbara Gerrard, local society queen. Borrowing permanently from Browse-A-Bit book shop operated by Bill Florian, a newspaper, containing the sad news tha.t the three boes had been wiped out on the New York Stock Exchange. CAutomobile tires went flat.j The paper also had an editorial by editor Gerald Boudreau titled Are Plastic Mouse Traps Overrated? On the third page was a large ad announcing a big DO to b-e held that evening in Rear Irish Gove featuring the music of Eric MacKay and his squaredance orchestra, with prompter Angus Smith. Having finished our newspaper they donated it to Town Grier Jim Hol- lahan. Tfhe exhausted travellers noticed a huge neon sign advertising Bill Ma- theson's Deluxe Flop-House. At the crack of dawn next morning the hoboes gathered all the towels and loose furniture and made an unannounced depart- ure via the fire escape. Suffering from pangs of hunger they entered the classy All-Nite Diner owned and operated by Chris Raptis and Patsy MacLean. Departing without paying they continued downtown. By this time an alarm was out for the thieves, a11d they were picked up by police chief Jim MacDonald when they attempted to steal Vera Casse1l's gold-plated diploma. Miss Cassell is the principal of the New Sydney High School. p The three repentent hoboes were tried before Magistrate John C. Camp- bell and sentenced to the Sydney Academy for two months. Incidentally Our Heroes were registered in the books as Allan Sullivan, Harold Strug and Vince Campbell. -.4,3f1.1lg.. IN THE FUTURE - XII-D Well! - It's 1960, so let's take a brief look around the world to see if we can locate some of the XIID class of 1950. Let us first go to the British Isles to find out if we can see anyone that we know. Since we are here, let us buy some of those cockles and mussels that that nice-looking couple are selling. Well !-Shiver my timbers, if it isn't Eunice Nymark a11d her Irishman, Paddy. Oh, oh! I think thereis going to be troubleg here comes a bobby, and he looks very familiar, too. Well, I 'll be hanged! - it 's Ray Mortimer, and I do believe he 's walking on stilts. 62

Page 112 text:

EIGHT LEG-G-ED CHAMPIONS Re g. McEachen, XIA Have you ever considered where the champion atlhletes of the world are to be found? Men have achieved wonders with their brains and hands, but in physical strength they are left far behind the insects. I suppose we could call the elephant the worlds greatest weight lifter. He can carry larg- er and heavier articles than any other animal, ibut look at his size. If he had to carry his own weight he would barely be able to walk with it. There is a certain field ant that has been known to hold in its jaws something three thousand times its o-wn weight. Ants also are champion climbers. They can carry flies and other insects three times heavier than themselves over walls a dozen feet high. Tlhe 'building feats of these animals are also very great. Some of their building feats, view in relation to size, make America's biggest skyscrapers seem not so wonderful after all. Taking an ants height as one-quarter of an inch by erecting five feet and sometimes larger pyramids, as some of them -do, they construct buildi-ngs 240 times their own size. If men six feet tall were to build on the same scale we should have buildings 1,480 feet high. It is interesting to picture what would happen if these insects. were to grow to human size, but fortunately for ourselves, there is no danger of it really happening. -..gd1'1lg,..- CLASS PROPHECY XII-A As the three hoboes crawled out from under their first-class pullman coach in the railroad yards at Sydney, they were espied and pursued by rug- ged railroad detective Mike March, known as the Hobo's Terror. Successful in eluding their per-suer, they pooled their resources to hire Jimmy Campbell 'S rickshaw to drive them t.o the Elite Cafe owned and operated by John Mac- Dougall. They were served by the singing waiter Roy Turnbull who by this time was beginning to rival the illustrious headliner at the 4 Sz 5 Club, Malcolm CSugerthroatJ Maclnnis. Due to pecuniary difficulties, they were forcibly' ejected fby bouncer Sam Newman, former Whitiiey Pier weight lifting cham- pion. Having been slightly injured in the fracas, they were noticed by the S. P. C. A. and an ambulance, driven by Norman MacDonald, and accompanied by his perennial passenger Dave Rogers, business-seeking mortician. They were registered at the desk by the receptionist Betty Mac'Lennan, and taken to the operating room in the elevator by interne Charlie MacLellan. They were prepared for operating by nurses Eileen and Shirley Young. The two resident veterinarians Cyril Dalton and Charles Ferguson, unable to diagnose the condition of the ho-boefs., called in for consultation the learned Drs. Sid Mif- flin and Alex Maclsaac who have lost more patients between than screen ac- tress Hughena MacLean has boy friends. The Drs. could not reach a decision so the patients were discharged. 61

Page 114 text:

Let 's walk down this. street and -- My, hasn't that Dunhill factory grown. I hear that Mildred Nymark is a partner in the firm with her husband, Johnny. Well, here's the theatre, so let's drop in and see the 1960 Follies, starring Betty Campbell and Sally lVIaeLe0d and under the direction of Evelyn lVIa0Ritchie. I.sn't the theatre decorated beautifully? I'll bet it's the work of Eunice lVIacKeigan. She's a noted interior decorator, I hear. Let us now travel back across the ocean to the United States. 'We'll patronize the fMe1da. Jones and Goan! MacLeod air lines for the sake of friendship. I hear they have pretty good service, too. Here we've lande-d at the New York Airport. Oh !-my heaven to Bet- sy! If it wasn't Mike Kucyniak who transported us safely across the ocean, with the aid of Stewardess Gertrude Holbeche. We 'll call a taxi now and go to see the zoo. We might see some of our friends there. fDon't get me wrong, now.D Don't forget to tip the cabby. Oh! oh! never mind th-e tip, it 's Verna Gallant, and any woman driver 's not worth the tip, even if she did get us there in one piece. Oh, no! Look who is the keeper of the zoo. It's Camilla Monohan. It must be relative attraction. VVell, there 's Sonia Wroblewski and Blanche Novak, feeding peanuts to the monkeys. They 're both in nurses' uniforms, too. I guess since we 've seen all that we can here, weid 'better make our way back to Canada. My! b-ut isn't thi.s train service slow? Let's buy some popcorn, it looks good. So does the girl who sells it. Why! if it isn't Velma Peters, and therefs Hettie Bannister selling papers. Almost home again. We 're just pulling into Toronto. Who are those two women sitting in the back of that limousine VVhy! it's Ottis Wahont and Thelma Andrews. I se-e they have a good-looking chauffeur. Oh, no! It 's Bill MECQHBGH. QBet his wife d0esn't know about this.D I wonder what Vera Polley is doing now. Well !-speak -of the d-angel. There she is now, and aren't the twins cutie. Now, we'll take the bus back to Sydney. Listen to the driver yell -- Puleeze, Puleeze, move to the rear. That voice sounds familiar also. Why! it 's Alex Hobin. So that 's why they're making the buses four feet higher. I hear that Agnes MacNe-il and Rosaline MacKenzie have taken over Mr. Woodill and Mr. Gillis' jobs as teachers in Sydney Academy. I wonder if Helen Bonavisky ever made her debut in New York. Yes, here it is in to- day 's paper. Well, well! lolok who's coming down the road on the arm of her hand- some and Cyetj unmarried boss. It's Louise Boudreau, Clucky girlb. And isn't Louise Maclntyre lucky? She's got a mansion on Mira Road. I hear she got the money by selling tickets to the we-dding of Lilly Edwards, which, as yet, never took place. Tena Pyke is now a missionary in Glace Bay and June Mortimer is a deaconess. I do believe civilization is spreading. Oh! there 's the first edition of Stella Forde's new book My Flight from Sydney Academy. Looks like itis worth reading. 63