Sunbury High School - Torch Yearbook (Sunbury, PA)

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P c 1 '+-A'+ - A'+--'+'+- - 'Mm t number of admirers with the most number of toofy smiles. The-y are quickly surrounded by all sorts of autograph books, and in this crowd there is one familiar and lou'-sick face, Albert Bogart. The reason we are running out in such a hasty hurry is because the ex-coach, Dick XVhalen, who is now acting as bouncer, is giving us a very unfriendly cyc . . . and thc door- man, Charles Yeager, docsn't hesitate to kick our collective pants in getting us out of the club. The fog drifts over the sccnc again . Injun: NVelll . . . ???'? Father Time: VVell . . . 9'???'? The lights flare up again, we are in Madison Square Garden about to witness a program for the benefit of Indigent and Decrepit Dictionary and Plncyclopedia Compilers. Un thc stagc are many notables of today, and wc will announce them to you as thcy strut their slnfl'. Here is Ruth Iienker . . . a state regent of the D. A. R.. now lecturing on the lCvils of Modern Civilization. Following her on the program is a quartettc tell .Vsj consisting of Jean Spooner, Jean Glosser. Joyce Inns, and Jane Dunkclbcrgcr, swinging popular mclodics. 'l'hcn, there is Glenn Fryling lecturing on the Evils of Modern Civilization, and for the boys in thc hack room he has some moving pictures of trains. Following Glenn we sec Nancy Byrod, elo- cutionist, extolling the ubiquitous virtues of Johnny's Poulticef' Gliding up to the center of thc stage is our handsome and somewhat conservative bachelor, Fred Goodyear, who is yap- ping on the subject of How to Train Uur Children Against the livils of Modern Civilization. Slinking around on 'll-inch heels is Betty NVilliams, warbling popular hit toons from thc operctta. She Done Him. Again a lecturer assaults our patient cars, with The More Important Evils of Modern Civilization, done up in true style and bastcd every It-3 minutes with its own juice. by Jane XVillard. The fog drifts over the scene again . Injun: NVQ-lllllllllllll . . . ????????? Father Time: VVellllllll . ????????? Do you heal' the lowing of contented l'iiIll'? Do you hear the melodious choruses ringing out eestatieally from the throats of happy roostcrs, chickens, chicks, pigeons. turkeys, and . . . wcll, do you hear those fowl chirpings? Are your eardrums gently irritated by de buzzing of de beez, by de honking of de geeze? Can you smell that fermented hay, rotting in the barnyard, glinting dully in the hot summer sun? In short, can you imagine yourself on a farm? NVell, you're a darn sight smarter than we are . . . we can't. But to show you wc'rc good sports, we-'ll pretend we can, and tell you what we see . . . If you look ovcr to the right. thats it, no, a little further right, yes . . . now, can you see it? VVell, it is Alvin Mciscr, playing with those bee-hives again. Alvin is an apiologist, the keeps an apiary and a beehivej. isn't he a honey? tsk, tsk . . . NVell. thcre's the farmer, Martin Ross, a-plugging away at his Agriculture . . . and as a matter of fact, hc is now supplying the Furman canncrics with choice vegetables to can. You know, of course. that Harry Furman is practically running thc business . . . or don't you? A-bringing in thc sheaves, ycssir. there is Paul Shipman. a-bringing in the sheaves . . . and who should be selling thc farmer's daughter life insurance. but .lack Lentz, an itinerant vender . . . well, ta, ta, we must bc departing . . . life in thc country is sooooo strenuous. P Father Time: Clooking at the sleeping injun, and kicking himj Hey, you, the Pow XVow fire is out ! l! Injun: Hzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz PGH ! !! n Page 99

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Page 98 Heap Big Pow Wow Injun: Now is the year 1938, brethren . . Soon will be 1939, Then, Mebbe 191-8? QNO coaching from the audience, please . . . now, go on . . . Injun . . .J Hey. you Heap Big Medicine Man, Father Time, I mean, what'ull it gonabe in 1948. huh? Father 'limez QStroking nize long beardj You want to know????? Injun: Dern tootin', ya ol' nuisance!! Father Time: Ctlumping gleefully in the air. and cutting a caper with his scythej O. K. 1'm gonna let youse guys in on some hot tips. fChewing on the freshly-cut eaperj . . . Here goes . . . The skies clear. all the haze and clouds are wafted away. sweet music. like that of a bass horn. is heard. The scene is that of a Lubritorium. NVhistling of a not-too musical nature is heard, and a touseled red head pops above the grimy grease pit. It is Bob Snyder whistling to his partner in the gas station business. John Simpson, who is running towards us in a dainty Paris creation designed by Adabelle Hartman. the only female overall designer in the world. In front of this modernistic pink and blue establishment is Carl Sowers. advertisement manager. who is now batting off at the mouth about the unique service rendered by the afore- mentioned two boys. Hob Egan, popular young man about town.. 'ves up in a newly acquired deluxe super-super Plymouth town ear, and Charles Seeboldlixf es out of hiding to be the first to wipe his windshield in the best 'tCircle Service manner. X To the rear of the gas station is the Hot Doggery of Lena XVendt. assisted in her cuisine by Betty Sanders. Their fame in the culinary arts has spread all over, and their eanned products are causing indigestion and riots from Maine to California. The ladies in charge inform us that they get all their meats and similar supplies from Smith, Smith, and Smith, butcher shoppe. and barber shoppe combined. It seems that Bill wanted to he a surgeon, so he got around the expense by barbering fatrociously, too . . . as apple-cheeked Robert Renn will readily testify, after we pick him up . . . bloody and bleeding from the entirely unneces- sary shave Bill has given himj, and Bill makes a living selling the fruits of his razory labors in the cattle pens. The fog drifts over the scene again . . Injun: NVelllll . . . ????????? Father Time: XVelllllll . . . ??'???'. Things grow suddenly light again. and we are HERE!! NYhere??? HERE!! you dum- mies!! On the great white way, and entering the Yumph a new nitery established by Don Lister and Bill Ploek, treasurer and president respectively. Featured on their colossal enter- tainment bill is their own orchestra. known from Toonerville and back, and the sensationally senseless comedy team of Libby and Mohn. Buddy Rogers is Quadruple-tongueing his trum- pety way to fameg the dancing team of Dick Fenstermacher, respectfully? isgalgnia hea 'ner. Acting in the able capacity of head waiter. Hurley VVilvert. and his two subo inates, Ike., ego and Fred Poycr are tossing food right and left to the poor patrons. -4 N. There is a riot at the doorway, for in have swept the two most poptjil and t. Red T x actresses on thc illegitimate stage of today . . . Betty Kepner and Birdie- volomon. F th are heavily furred, masearaed, and eyebrowed, and to ieaeh the least ll, , in - ?

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1 vA,v,'.,.v,v.-2.,v,v.,,v.v,,. - ,, r+Y-v-+-- Page 100 Your Nledieine Man Leaves These Charms Mabel Kerstetter to Peggy Bassler, her positive knack of wearing female accounter- ments. June Gelnett to Rosemary Powell, her absolutely faultless application of make-up. Sidney Apfelbaum to Ray Duttry, l1is artist's brush, palette, and not so artistic tem- perament. lValter Bennett to Eugene lvagner, his aptness at tickling our funny bones. Betty Beinlich to Sister Doris Beinlich. her complete control over her muscular torso. Bob Shipe to Booty Minnier, his extremely capable lungs and raucousness. Steve Brown to Martha Hoffa, his mastery of his immense Piccolo. Clement Dissinger Nevin, Jr., to Milton Darlington Moore, his perfectly too-too di- vine monogram. Edward Heckert to Charles Reichley Qwho wonit use it anywayj, his bass voice. Jerry Stine to Bob Sanders, his formula for being popular though good-looking. Marcella Emerick to Mary Ghecn. an original volume on how to trip the light fantastic on an extremely waxed floor. Virginia Reichenbach to .lane Gervin, her handiness in executing her library duties. Betty Gamble to Katherine Cairns. her untiring flow of words and unassuming locqa- ciousness. Pete Mottern to Kenneth Schleig, his position on the basketball team, and heave11 help him if he doe-s11't do something with it l Myrtle Bobb to June Gingrich, her fleet pencil and knowledge of shorthand. Lee Yearick to John Hoffman, his luffly blonde hair and beeootiful appearance. Ned Swank to Fred Lepley, what might remain of his motive vehicle. Carl Sowers and Lois Dreibelbeis to Stumpy Umholtz and Betty lVurtzel, their se- cure ball and chain. Betty Mattliews to Bea Mussina. the affection for Mr. Abbott wl1icl1 she inherited from Jennie Mc-Henry and leaves to her posterity, slightly the worse for hard wear.