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Page 82 text:
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Compliments of LONG’S GROCERY 1719 Seventeenth Ave. W. Phone W2425 Buy from HARDWARE-TERIA ‘At the Sign of the Saw’ 122 8th Ave. East Calgary, Alta. The absent-minded professor drove up to his garage door, looked inside, and blinked. Then he turned around and drove like mad to the police station. “Sergeant,” he gasped, “my garage is empty! Somebody’s stolen my car.” “Oh, uncle, there’s a funny man across the street.” “What’s he doing?” “He’s sitting on the pavement talking like anything to a banana skin.” “Your boy friend talks too much. He rattles on like a flivver. I’m afraid he’s a flat tire.” “I know dad, but his clutch is grand.” “They all l aughed when I stood up at the night club. How should I know I was under the table?”
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Page 81 text:
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QUICK ONES The only difference between a rut and a grave is in their dimensions.—Ellen Glasgow. A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.—R. C. Ferguson. In the war against reality man has but one weapon—Imagina¬ tion.—Jules de Gautier. History teaches this—that people and governments have never learned anything from history.—Hegel. In the egg the hen was away ahead of everybody on stream¬ lining.—H. I. Phillips. No money talks louder than hush money when it gets its voice back.—Arkansas Gazette. Here lies an Atheist: all dressed up and no place to go.—Lyre. One pair of chiffon hose is produced by 333 silkworms. And another worm works eight hours a day for the wherewithal to pur¬ chase the hose.—Dallas News. A man mounting a street car with 10 children let them all sit down and he stood up. An elderly woman in the corner began to laugh. Are you laughing at me?” asked the gentleman. Yes, was the reply. “I can’t help laughing at how you kidded yourself out of a seat.” I Hello, is this the Humane Society?” Yes.” “Well, there’s a book salesman sitting in a tree teasing my dog.” 79
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Page 83 text:
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Men ' s Style Headquarters in Calgary for Oldsters of 18 or Youngsters of 70 334 8th Ave. West i 1 | NOW’S THE | j TIME TO | J BUY | j ; New Again j RECONDITIONED USED ! CARS GENCRflL 5UPPUC5 LTD. WHERE ALL THE CHEVROLETS COME FROM --—--j “How about a date?’’ “Goodness, no.” “Oh, I don’t mean now. Some nasty wet winter afternoon when there’s nobody else in town.” Groom—“How did you make this cake, dear?” Bride—“Here’s the recipe. I clipped it from a magazine.” Groom—-“Are you sure you read the right side? The other side tells you how to make a rock garden.” j Phone M5350 H. C. King, Manager House of Antiques Ltd. ! VICTORIAN, GEORGIAN PERIOD FURNITURE China, Brass, Pewter, Silver, Etc. 1 220 7th Avenue West Opp. Hudson’s Bay ! Calgary, Canada t ————————---i 81
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