Sturgis High School - Sturgensian Yearbook (Sturgis, MI)

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Hospital to devote all her time to her seven children. “Number Please” the voice with a smile, ah yes, that is true for both Suzanne Seger and Phyllis Sowers who have been punching telephone switchboards for these many years. It seems as if they were at one time frozen to their jobs. Mrs. Yancey, nee Audrey Henderson, and Mrs. McBride, nee Ruth Stratton, are journeying to Fawn River for their honey¬ moons. Doi is Royer and Helen Sadewasser are stealing each other’s chicken and egg businesses. Victor Schragg has just won the Na¬ tional Hog Calling Contest and is starting a Hog Calling Club, which is the first of its kind to become a national organization. Norma Yunker is the first member to give her full-fledged support. We hear that Don Picker and Robert Ringler have taken over management of the Purple Parrot and turned it into a high class joint. Their main attraction is song¬ stress Vera Roberts, who does a specialty ballet as she sings. Ruth Schuster is the captain of the women’s baseball team of Southern Michi¬ gan. ★ ★ Class Will

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Lois Meisling, Norma Meyers, and Georgia Smith, three great Metrosournote stars will be in Sturgis next Monday night. They will sing all the songs from their latest opera. We are happy to announce that Argyle Morrison, who has been a Mrs. for the last five years, has just presented her husband with a set of twins. Dorothy Nugent and Ellen Linder have just opened an exclusive clinic for expect¬ ant fathers. They will sooth the poor things’ brows while the blessed events are taking place. The famous Drip-O-Tea Room will be closed this afternoon. The managers Norma Large, Thelma Smoker, and Jean Hart, are taking their families and hus¬ bands to the country for an outing. Recently Phyllis Squire was appointed by the National Businessmen’s Association as the ideal career woman. Accepting Hollywood’s offer to play the part of the “Tall Thin Man”, Jack Toepper has agreed to grow a mustache. It is rumored that Robert Miller owns a large chain of bowling alleys throughout the country. Up for reelection this term we find Luella Prestidge running for Sheriff of Carson County. She states emphatically that she always gets her man. The Miller and Miller Zoot Suit Busi¬ ness is doing marvelously well since movie hero Bill Post has worn them in all his latest love roles. He will appear soon in “Savage Love”. We’ve just received word that Dick Newman has at last been made manager of South Huckleberry’s Montgomery Ward store and he now has one clerk—Dortlia Long. Attention lonely hearts! If your love troubles are getting you down tune in your radio to station WOW! at 5 o’clock and Telia Talstorv (Arietta Monroe) will ex¬ plain to you all the latest methods of how to get your man and hold him. Subscriptions have soared since Es¬ quire Magazine has been edited and pub¬ lished by Virgil Wittenberg and illustrated by Bill Shinn. The Waldorf Astoria of New York has just hired Jack Sowers and Ernest Vaillan- court as chief cooks and bottlewashers. “Let us pray, brethern”, says Rever¬ end Theodore Warner each Sabbotli morn, in his little brown church in the valley. Mary Pinney has recently become lit¬ erary critic on the Burr Oak Acorn. Kate Painter is still taking dictation from her boss’s lap in the City Office of Sturgis. The newest invention of Roland Pagels and Grant Parker, the Amphiboplane, is the result of many months of experiments. It is rumored that this machine can sail on water, ride on land, and fly in the air. The great Naval flying Ace, Bob Sclieetz, has agreed to test out this remarkable (!) invention. We recently heard that Prof. Elwood Stevens and Prof. Newton Taylor have opened their School for Refined Young Ladies, in the east. Evidently the girls can’t resist these dashing young profes¬ sors for enrollment is very high. Shut off from the world in their lab¬ oratory, Wm. Zeeb, the great mastermind and his assistant, Morris Jackson have dis¬ covered and proved that 2 plus 2 is not 4, but 3. They will soon publish their book called, “Theories Incident to the Pleni¬ potentiary Axiom of the Parallelopipedon as Contrasted to an Isoseles Triangle”. Modeling the newest creations made from limestone, celophane, and carbon for the ultra swank “400”, Jane Watson has become a renowned figure—and how! Raymond Strang alias “The Killer”, after a brilliant career as a wrestler, is happily settled down in the cares of domes¬ tic life. We have just heard that Bill Toepper has fled to the north woods to take refuge in the Deagen-Douglas Sanctuary for Dilapi¬ dated Males, to get away from the usual thing, a determined blond. Mrs. Lois Walker Loomis has resign¬ ed her position as head nurse at Hoboken

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