Sturgis High School - Sturgensian Yearbook (Sturgis, MI)

Page 26 text:

PROPHETIC POST NO. 1 VOL. 1 1945 PRICE $1 .25 STUDEMAN WINS BY LANDSLIDE HIGH FLYER HURT Co-pilot and radio operator, Wil¬ bur Gonyou, to Admiral Richard Freeman, was seriously injured while contacting ' the propellor of their noto-giro-plane which was to start them in their epoch making flight across the St. Joseph River. Ad¬ miral Freeman refuses to get anoth¬ er man and will postpone the jour¬ ney till co-pilot Gonyou has recov¬ ered. EXPLORER RETURNS Miss Joyce Sager, famed explor¬ er, has just returned from Africa with an entirely new specimen of gorilla called Vernonlius Donleyus. Frank Buck calls Joyce “Bring ’em back alive ... or dead . . . Sager. SEEN AND HEARD Long in need of a cheer coach in the local schools, Mr. Gerald Crav¬ en, member of school board, has just put forth his efforts to acquire the renowed “Nine-Rah” Colbert to fill such a position. Under his teaching, yell leaders will develope appealing voices and smoother ryhthm. We understand that Mr. Richard Bucknell, local hardware magnate, devotes his spare moments to writ¬ ing a first rate gossip column, en¬ titled “Buckshot,” for the Wasepi Weekly. The prominent “Flying Minister” of the Mid-West, Arthur Evers Jr., has just completed a tour of the Southwestern states and has return¬ ed to this vicinity to take part in the services to be held in Howe School chapel next Sunday. William J. Bryan, local artist, has just been engaged by the local groc¬ ers to paint the prices of meats and groceries on the various store win¬ dows. Miss Grace Ellen White, nurse of St. Joseph County, was unable to make her report last evening because of a severe attack of the mumps. RADIO NOTES Bob Ferrel, ’3 7, has just complet¬ ed his greatest fete in radio an¬ nouncing. He had his big chance this year at the Kentucky Derby where he stuttered the big event of the day to a capacity crowd. It has just been reported that the one and only Carl Fillmore, blond menace of the guitar strings, is playing cowboy ditties for the mod¬ ern rich who hang out at a certain dude ranch. The prominent singer called the “Mystery Girl” has just announced her engagement to the playboy and polo star of this season in New York, Gerald Fisher. Mr. James Phillip Hamilton has jus: been hooked up to the “Wake Up and Live” girl of radio center. He recently won Sit-Down-and- Sleep Marathon which has been sweeping the modern business world. Rosadelle Parker, radio’s newest sensation, made her debut on station B-U-M-B-L-E before a studio audi¬ ence of 1,000. She played the diffi¬ cult composition “The Bee” on her violin. Next Monday night at 8 o’clock the world famous lecturer, Wilma Parker, will give a short talk on one of her favorite subjects, “Fish and How to Fry Them.” STAGE AND SCREEN Flash! Miss Fifi O’Flvnn, act¬ ress and formerly Virginia Myers of the States, is the latest French im¬ portation to arrive in New York. After acquiring a beautiful French accent she will have to lose it to appear in the stage production, “Pink Elephants.” We have just received word from our Hollywood correspondent that Miss Jeanne Wright has received a shiny new contract from Jack Ben¬ ny. So she’s the gal that writes those gags? ? Miss Maxine Studeman has just been elected president of these Unit¬ ed States by an overwhelming ma¬ jority. In a statement which she made, after hearing of her success, she said, “I shall endeavor to help the school children of my country. All morning school classes will be postponed until 12:00 noon with two hours lunch period at noon. In the afternoon there will be a two hour recess, during which all the teach¬ ers will be locked up and ice cream and cake will be served to all the pupils.” Miss Studeman has selected for her Secretary of the Interior Celia Sigler, famous cooking expert. HUNTER CRASHES THRU The Honorable Phillip Hunter has been overwhelmingly reelected as representative to Congress from this district. In his past term he became prominent because of his prolonged discussions and extensive arguments. MYSTERY SOLVED Juanita Palmer, the little Stenog of the “Fawn River Fizz,” a local newspaper, has finally dug up the guilty worm and solved the fam¬ ous “Who Killed Cock Robin” mys¬ tery. Charlie Chan has offered her a position in his great staff of “mys¬ tery solving stooges.” GOSSIP Nita Jane Rex, that comely little lass we knew in school, has inherit¬ ed a sum of money from her great grandfather and has purchased a plantation down South where she raises “Cane.” Grace Parker who recently heard the words “I pronounce you man and wife” is now happily living in a rose covered cottage by the sea and is a mpdel “hausfrau.”

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I ability, especially, in shorthand to “Red” Kelso, who will, no doubt, appreciate and greatly benefit by this bequest. I, Coral Hubner, do, with great relief, leave my excessive height to Edith Large. I, Wanda June Crane do bequeath my vagabond spirit to Lillian Purdy, the while, singing “Home Sweet Home”. I, Jeanette Conrad do hereby will my classy long fingernails to any nail-biting, nervous Junior who might benefit by this request. I, Robert Large do bequeath my unhappy inability to get to school on time to a certain Howard Parker, trusting that he’ll enjoy many pleasant hours, as I did, in the Detention Room. We, Eva Keagle and Freda Dauber will our love of nite-life to Donald Coohon. Myself, the high and mighty Lloyd DeFord will to any unassuming Freshie the broken hearts Pve left behind. I, June Mary Gilbert leave to girls seeking popu¬ larity, my sunny personality and vibrant smile, but Pll try to keep my beloved Johnnie. I, Dorothy Dull, leave to Ruth Rhodes my high place in the rural student organization. 1, Burton Smith bequeath to Art Koehl my place in the boys’ quartette. I, Vara Judd, do bequeath my much loved seat in Candyland to Jean Gerchow. I, Kathleen Kahmann, do hereby bequeath my rich contralto voice to any Junior who desires it. I, Helen Lampe, bequeath my everlasting affec¬ tion for white-haired athletes to Lois Kirkwood. I, Elizabeth Mamroe, do bequeath my artistic ability to any struggling art student. I, Susanna McBride, do will my ability to be “true to one” to Kathryn Meisling, who has already shown great promise along this line. I, John Morton, do hereby will and bequeath to Robert Schuler my fightin gspirit in football. I, Robert Kanouse, do hereby bequeath my shy and bashful mien to Betty Hunter. I, John Kirkpatrick, do hereby leave, with deep regret, my beautiful wavy hair to How r ard Pierucki, who seems to need it at the present time. I, Roger Lake, do will and bequeath my ability to “hit the low notes” to Clifford Leestma and also my importance to the existence of school life to anyone who wants it. I, Virginia Edgerton, do hereby bequeath my deep affection for “yodelin’ cowboys” to Janet Rommel. I, Jean Freeland, do hereby will my conceit which I attempt to conceal under the guise of sophisti¬ cation to any Junior who aspires to be thus afflicted. I, Lorraine Fuller, do hereby bequeath my ex¬ quisite soprano voice to Betty Maxwell. I, Evangeline Goss, do will my speed in attain¬ ing the much sought-for diploma to Richard Hop¬ kins for obvious reasons. I, Edgar Ulrey, bequeath my love for diligent study to Harold Burke, who, by the way, might need it. To Warren Luttmann, I, Fred Robinson, be¬ queath the Harvard Scholarship I didn’t get. I, Edgar Paski, bequeath my now famous repu¬ tation in the field of Science to Richard Bass. I, Jack Marx will my artistic ability of figure drawing to Leon Kimball. We, Harold Pagels and Charles Shisley, bequeath our hunting experience to Mr. Peck, provided he bags a flying squirrel. We, Richard Runyan and Harry Laws bequeath our athletic ability to any Junior who will promise to keep the school on top. I, Lloyd Malone, do wall my love for loud plaid shirts to Arthur Knapp who already has some right classy ones. I, Ivan Myers, bequeath my baseball ability to Lewis Bowers. I, Robert Nugent, if Ferrel agrees, bequeath the seven passenger Packard I ride about in, to Vern Haack, provided he lives up to the sign on the radiator—“Men Only.” I, Guy Turner, bequeath my job as photograph editor of the Sturgensian to Tom Walton. I, Allen Light, do hereby will my big Studebaker to Mort Main provided it’s used for the same purpose for which I used it. I, George Sadewasser, bequeath my electrician- ship at school plays to Lou Moon so he will have no more speaking lines, much to everyone’s relief. I, Francis Stevenson, do will my curly hair and charming personality to Basil Grimm. I, Anna Mae Krieder, do bequeath my many interesting coiffures to Rosemary Wilson. (Continued on page 79)

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PROPHETIC CHURCH NEWS In the green glades of Sherman Township, we happened upon a country church service held in a neat little building. From the open windows flowed forth kind and tender words of a meek, quiet man. We thought we knew the voice, but were not sure until we read on the door, “Rev. Myron Kieth Ballard, Pastor.” GOSSIP Kathryn Pinney, famous Home Economics Instructor and chief dem¬ onstrator of the Young Brides’ Cooking Class, has just completed a prize winning book entitled, “Why Husbands Leave Home.” Dorothy and Eleanor Pagels have gone into partnership and opened the “Pagels’ Patchup Parlor,” a pleasant beauty shop where tired women give themselves up to Elean¬ or’s soothing hands and Dorothy’s flashing smile and dimples. Dorothy Shemberger and Doro¬ thy Sumney have just established a dairy farm on the outskirts of Manns Corners. They call it the Dorothy Farm. Every cow is a blond and they are all called Dorothy. (Kinda’ “dotty”, don’t cha think? Or don’t cha?) FLASH! Isabelle Schult, hailed by those who know her as another Mae West, has just brought with her to Holly¬ wood the famous beauty specialist, Mary Stolebarger. Critics are praising Zelma Mc¬ Bride, who is creating a furor in New York City. She is modeling in an exclusive gown shop on Fifth Avenue and take it from one who knows, she has that certain some¬ thing. New York has gone “ga-ga” over its newest comedy star, Frances Mon¬ roe. She was a sensation in her portrayal of “Gushy Gago” in “Spilled Milk.” SPORT NEWS The Conley-Donley combination is making history with the Fawn River All-Star baseball team. Ray is starring on the mound while Ver¬ non is taking the role of slugging outfielder. Although Don Blanchard turned down an offer from Hollywood to play professional football with the Chicago Bears, he intends to take up the afore named offer within a few years if he doesn’t become too battered and bruised. Paul Griffeth has just been made head coach of indoor soccer at Vas- sar College for Women. It is re¬ ported to be a game of knock-down, drag-out for the girls who want to get at him . . . woo-woo! GRISAMER TO TELL ’EM OFF Graduation time is again upon us and the seniors of the class of 1950 have selected for their commence¬ ment speaker Professor George Gris- amer of Death Valley Mining School. Superintendent, Miss Frie¬ da Volpel, will present the diplomas. Adventism 23 POST FEMININE FANFARE Telegram: Dear Mom: Just accepted a po¬ sition as catcher with the Boston Brown Beans stop Salary satisfac¬ tory stop Look for me behind the home plate of the Boston Brown Beans in the rotogravure section of the Boston Blatter. (Signed) Mary Ann Miller Miss Willetta Wright is now re¬ siding in Detroit, where she has a valuable position as office manager in the Dearborn Ford Factory. Vara Judd Betty Mamroe Dolores Hrdina Paul Griffeth