Strathcona Tweedsmuir School - Paidia Yearbook (Okotoks, Alberta Canada)

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4' if r q,qQ K, N, 6' o if ff s 2' 'I at S Q-o 9 E' QQ .rg Q5-,,, '42 3-2 35' vt? Sa :sl Sn fbi 9 51.93. 99 5' 'Q- M 'Vp author, nz 0 TEACHERS SHOW PROMISE AS TH ESPIANS A review of the STS staff presentation Sandy Heard's Flying Circus at Winter Carnival, February, 1976. lt was a powerful performance, the kind one is lucky to see once in one's life. For a few brief minutes it was Chem 20 all over again, a brilliant synthesis of one b d wrote: l of the most inane classes in high school. But forget what the ar once come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones. This tour de force of character study by a group of twenty-one talented individuals would put Olivier to shame. The cast included Mrs.Kirkham who was winsome as Shirley Willey and Mr. K'lb ho did a masterful job in his cameo appearance as Brett Kool. John Strath- i w muir, Slip Sturgess, Steve Kleen, Andy Lousy and Fred Furlong as the back of the ll M .S h 't and class crowd were played by Mr. Keller, Mr. Wilson, Mr. McConne , r c mi Mrs. Foster respectively. Polly Dawson, the class whiz kid, was, aptly enough, Dr. Nosal. Randy Draine, tied and jacketed, was played by Mr. Ditchburn who could not quite submerge his extroverted behavior despite valiant attempts. Never mind! We enjoyed the signs: Peasant etc. Mrs. Widney was Tubby Gonesometimesg Patches Headstrong the class rowdy was played by our quiet librarian, Mrs. Ro chan and Julie Body, who arrived in class in a gym suit half-way through the P performance, was Mrs. Coyne. When Mrs. Coyne played Julie, her gymnastics skill ' H W ll- came in handy, as she did acrobatics throughout the lesson arvey a banger, the student who always manages to have a music lesson when a test is announced, was played by Mr. Nelson. Smiling Jack was played by Mr. Hay, Steve Boss, the one with the literary talent, by Mr. Freight, Fred Blooper by Mr. Koning and Nick Greyman, the school vice-president, by Mr. Tottenham. One wonders what happened to Kathie. Mr. and Mrs. Howard Hughes, the parents of six pros- pective students were the people upon whom the class was supposed to make a d ' sion Mrs Hughes emerged wearing an extraordinary costume like goo impres . . something the tubes might dredge up. It included enormous fishnet platforms and a short mink coat as well as an extremely long cigarette holder. Mrs. Hughes was played by Mrs. Desrochers and Mr. Hughes by Mr. Thompson. The acoustics in the gym were so bad you may not have heard the pre-class chatter. There was loud talk about the Okotoks Winter Carnival, about the party at Shylock's the night before and also of preparations for the dance-who was taking whom. lt was all so typical of our classes it was hilarious. lt was a look at ourselves through the teachers' eyes. It managed to include every character in the school, while still being good fun. The teachers seemed to enjoy it at least as much as we did and I hope this is not the last dramatic attempt we shall see from the Staff Room Thespians. Jane McQuitty Grade 12

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4.3, Ed Klassen David Fathi A PROPHECY BY David Komlodi Ladies and Gentlemen: The Tapir is going to take over the World. Yes. .. the Tapir. You may be asking yourself a combina- tion of these three questions:- 1. How are the Tapirs going to take over the World? 2. When is this take-over going to occur? 3. What the devil is a Tapir? l will attempt to answer these questions. The Tapir is an American mammal with a flexible proboscis. It has a short tail, small feet and a pig- like head. NOW ..,.... How can a pig- headed creature rule the World you ask? Well, Man did ...,. However, the Tapir will go about it in a different manner. The process has already begun! Starting from two strategic points, Southern Malaysia and a swamp south of Managua, Nicaragua, spies have infiltrated the upper echelons of both Capitalist countries and Totalitarian alike. Tapirs have taken hold of secret documents without leaving a clue. Who would ever think of looking for trunk prints? Tapirs have gained followers from various other species, in an atempt to overwhelm any human defence. This would be easy - Environmentalists would not allow the killing of the poor defenceless animals. But why, do the tapirs desire command of the planet? Do they have an inborn hatred of man? Or some mad psychosis? Or is it perhaps a publicity stunt? NO. The revolt is upon us. We must do something before it is too late. Security has leaked to me what they believe is the date and time of the revolution. The time is not so distant. Be prepared. On September 31, 1984 at approximately 10 a.m. 110:30 Newfoundlandl don't plan any parties - because the tapirs are revolting - and so is this speech. ....... . F com or 514' 610 do it 6byG N UCI 2144 gg Dec rho 11:5 -ii 9 5 3, U S 2 3 2 25 I s S 2 gf 3' 2 2 ,1 3 1 1' A Q ',. 2 5: THE TREE ' ll 2 . E . lt was alive, once. Q It stood above the emerald green sea, I Q Fleaching with its great branches, 't 4 Trying to touch the sky. K V, Its leaves were fresh and green 1, 1, And they danced inthe gentle summer breezes -I3 39, And yellowed,andfell in autumn. -f 1 its flowers were white as snow, QQ, 01 Tainting the air with their sweet perfume. 'Qbm But no more. The sea is now grimy and fouled with waste. The branches are naked. The leaves have gone forever. The breezes now carry fumes fearsome as Death himself, Killing, rotting, destroying all life. The snow-white flowers are now black as night, Covered with gaseous sludge we call city air . They wither and die, gasping for pure air. Man is the most intelliegent of all creatures. But he is a slow learner. David Fathi Grade 9 The Gentle Art of Head-Shrinking ln my opinion, head-shrinking is the most absorbing and relaxing hobby I have yet tried. Many people are misled into thinking this hobby involves skill and concentration but here they are wrong. I started with only a family recipe consisting of a mixture of herbs and spices, but beginners need just a cooking pot, scalpel, gloves and a smooth object. The standard procedure is to remove the skull, and, in my case, soak it thoroughly in the speed-shrinking mixture. Then the head is sus- pended above a smokeless fire and the facial expressions stroked for twenty to twenty-five minutes. Voila! The result is a handy souvenir that can be hung conveniently from the belt. The art itself is slowly gaining popularity after a brief lull of three or four centuries. People all over the world are finding out how econom- ical and satisfying it is to start their own collections of shrunken heads. Hobby shops and trophy hunters will usually pay a minimum of seventy-five dollars for a well-preserved head. Unfortunately, the common practice is to shrink heads of people with great prestige. This omits ninety per cent of Calgary's population. A beginner may always start with English staff, but this is usually frowned on by masters of the field. Also, the heads of certain English teachers are swollen beforehand as a result of conceit! On the contrary to turning out well, they have been known to omit putrid odors. Although the hobby of head-shrinking is proceeding slowly, it is sure to capture the hearts of all Canadians. It is economical, convenient, and offers attractive results. - Another neat suggestion from Jonathan Swift's Hobby Shop

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LOCKE CREATIVE WRITING CONTEST POETRY TO A COLLECTOR He shut the cage door On the last addition To his private zoo And proudly, Smiled As he gazed around at the Once wild and Once free Most beautiful creations Of nature. Once again He had proven himself Superior To the lesser beasts, And he was swelled with pride, But this brave, courageous, and great man Was too blind to see That without realizing, He had created A perfectly False world That was a Mirror image, Of his own life of captivity. Gerald Maguire, I AM ALWAYS TOO FAR FROM YOUR WORLD Dreams drifting by Were suddenly parted Were suddenly high Above my head lwatched them drift by Like clouds in the sky Oh so incredibly high As though they could fly l wondered lon my bedl If I should rise But l stayed instead l reached for the skies Grade 12 September doth come and the leaves turn yellow October doth come and the birds fly south November doth come 1 x is s N Qxx it mmiw -1 fm ' . . . , ' W - AT .4 I ggi 5 , .f dx 5 - .xx BobGammeIl MJ' X x-im ,VQN 1 l IIQFX-xxx' In 1 . i I 1 I J' Grade 12 Winner, Poetry Section shakespeare revisited ..., the quality of mercy is not strained it droppeth as a gentle rain from heaven upon the chevrolet below and rises through the smug faces of the masses in the form of reflections from the puddles that lie in the parking lots of your mind. Nicholas Graham Grade 12 and the people fly south December doth come and the snows do appear. January doth come and why didn't I fly south? Andrew Craine Grade 12 Gerald Maguire the dog sat next to me on the road to the city i waited for him to speak but he wouldn't i threw a rock to the pond. the silence was broken the sun came out a car drove by i smiled at the woman in the front seat it started to rain. now look what you've done said the dog. Nicholas Graham Grade 12