Stratford Central Secondary School - Collegian Yearbook (Stratford, Ontario Canada)

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COLLEGIAN, 1937. STRATFORD, ONT. Now Barker, what would you do if you Woke up one morning and smelt smoke? Barker: 'Td go back to sleep. You would? Barker: Sure I would, I don't like toast. First Former, rushing in to Mr. Bisson- nette: I saw the place where they make horses. Mr. Biss.: You must be mistaken. First Former: Well, I just saw the man finishing one. He was nailing on his last foot. Appel: Honestly, would you believe I bought this car second-hand? Waddle: Well no,-I thought you made it yourself! Minister: And in closing, Let us pray. I will ask Deacon Brown to lead. Deacon Brown Qawakening from a naplz It isn't my lead-I dealt. Sweet young thing tGuess who?J : If you kiss me I'll call my mother. He: Why call your mother? Why not your father? She: Oh, he isn't as deaf as mother is! Dixon: Now we're late again. Why didn't you look at your watch ? Grainger: I couldn't. I haven't got one. Dixon: Well, why didn't you look at mine ? Grainger: I tried to, but the pawn-shop window was frosted over. Miss McQueen: 'tNow, who was the first principal of this school? Montgomery, lbrightlyl : Oh, some fellow by the name of A. D. McMIX, I saw his name on the cornerstone. Horace fat officel: 'Tm not going to take Manual Training any more. Mr. Sprung: Why not? Horace: Well, you see, the first thing Mr. Tench asked me was how tall I was, and I told him exactly three feet. Mr. Sprung: Well, that's no reason for wishing to drop the subject. Didn't you like the question ? Horace: Well, I didn't mind that so much, but what I object is being perched up every five minutes and used as a three-foot rulef' Mr. Adamson: Now Heinbuch, what is the formula for water? Heinbuch: H I J K L M N O. Mr. Adamson: What are you talking about? Who gave you that idea ? Heinbuch: You Sir-Just yesterday you said it was H to O. Kaufman arrived from Tavistock and seeing his first sprinkling truck remarked, How stupid they are to think anything would grow on a paved street. Mr. Fuller rnoticing Greenwood's detailed plans for a Wingless aeroplanel : But how do you expect to get it up.-How are you going to overcome the law of gravity ? Greenwood: Oh, that's easy! I'll just have it declared unconstitutional. Sixty-seven

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COLLEGIAN, 1937. Jackson, Marion Jasper, Marion Kalbfleisch, Rosalia Kappele, May Kennard, Sheila Kennedy, Gertrude Kinkade, Beatrice Kruspe, May Landers, Ethel Lowe, Jean MacInnis. BOYS: Clarence Finch, Kenneth Finch, Lloyd Finlay, Norman Ford, Herman Frank, Wilbert Fraser, Robert Game, Robert Gibb, Harold Gilbert, Jack Glabb, Fred Gladding, Howard Good- year, Nelson Griffin, Gerald Hall, Leon Hall, Walter Hansford, Allan Heagy, Lavern Hesse, Charles I-Iider, John Hillis, How- ard Hobson, Alfred Huffman, Orval Huffman, Orval Huras, Douglas Johns, Donald Jones, Douglas Jones, Frank Kane, Fred Kane, Edwin Keane, Arthur Kennedy. 1D GENERAL-MR. J. W. CRAWFORD GIRLS: Orell MacKenzie, Olive Mc- Kenzie, Audrey McNamara, Patricia McNamara, Yvonne Mc- Tavish, Audrey Mann, Dorothy Mann, Mary Manson, Winnifred Marks, Christine Matheson, La- Verne Matthews, Constance May- nard, Jean Menzies, Jean Morri- son, Marjorie Murray, Delphine Noll, Estella Oldaker, Doris Everything had been running so smoothly in IIB during Miss McGregor's Grammar period, that, presently, we discovered a modern Rip Van Winkle in our midst. Smothered laughter and excited giggles lent variety to the remainder of the lesson, for the sleeper must be allowed to take his rest. Ken. Harrison suggested that we sing Sleep My Pretty One. However, the pretty one was left undis- turbed till -Glen Harris careless- ly closed the door in returning to the room near the end of the period, when Rip Van Sam came to, much surprised to find the interest of the class focused on him. Kenneth, did you take your teaspoon of Lux last night, be- fore you said your prayers'? is a frequent question of Miss M. Ross. The slouching form of Ken. Harrison has attracted our teacher's attention, and she has prescribed a nightly dose of Lux to prevent shrinking. As no im- provement has been noticed, the dose has been increased to one tablespoon. Siocty-Six Pauli, Carol Pinner, Isabel Pow- ell, Marion Pratt. BOYS: Douglas Kinch, Fred Knowles, Edward Kunder, Kenneth Lan- ders, Jack Lawson, James Law- son, Lloyd Levy, Edward Lowe, Harold Love, Angus MacInnes, Archie MacMillan, Donald Mc- Farlane, Douglas McGuire, Felix McKeough, William McMeekan, Ronald McTavish, John Maltby, Frank Mark, Gordon Master, Donald Matheson, William Math- eson, John Mavity, William Mav- ity, Alex Millar, Jack Milliken, William Moorehead, Bernard Morris, Keith Morris, Dennis Morris, Ernest Mott, William Mountain, Kenneth Murray. FORM 1E TEACHER-MR. KELLETT GIRLS 3 Grace Rawling, Margaret Reed, Elizabeth Reeves, Emily Rose, Dorothy Ryan, Pearl Schweitzer, Dorothy Scott, Hazel Senior, Helen Skirten, Marion Sloan, Bernice Standen, Gertrude Stewart, Joan Strasser, Jean Stratton, Shirley Swatridge. BOYS: Kenneth Nil, Edward Noll, Kenneth Oliver, Wi ll ia m O'Loughlin, Edward Oswald, Donald Patterson, John Pigeon, mejor New Some of us stay here longer than others. We have figured it out that if Coleman had passed a quarter of the times he has failed, he would have graduated with the class of '97. We have also discovered that the number of times he has been caught chewing gum divided by four times the number of notes he passes to Ruth Arbogast, each period, is equal to the poundage required to lift Mt. Everest over the Woolworth Building. In the wonderful form of 1A Two girls sit and talk all the day, They make a great noise And flirt with the boys, Joan and Joyce are their names, so they say. Mr. Sinclair-How does it happen you are late again? Bridges-Well, there are eight in our family and the alarm clock was only set for seven. Therels a splendid old school on the hill, With pride it doth all of us filly At a class or a game, our spirit's the same, For we study and play with a will. STRATFORD, ONT. Kenneth Pope, William Pratt, Raymond Prike, Edgar Reinhart, Maurice Reinhart, Wilfred Riehl, Harold Ross, Jerome Rumig, James Runciman, Timothy Ryan, George Sava, Ewart Scheck, Lloyd Schmidt, Kenneth Sebben, John Shaw, Edward Sheard, Burton Siegner, Kenneth Smab, Robert Small. FORM IF TEACHER-MISS DALE GIRLS: Eileen Taylor, Marion Taylor, Gorda Thistle, June Thompson, Joan Thomson, Margaret Tolton, Betty Tomlinson, Isobel True- man, Naomi Waddington, Ruth Waters, Dorothy Weis, Evelyn VVilson. BOYS: Waldimar Sass, William Smith, Charles Smith, Leslie Smith, Jack Sproat, Kenneth Steffen, Joe Storey, Douglas Strasser, Paul Thomas, Stanley Tidey, Harry Tribick, Matthew Tuck- Joe Storey, Douglas Strasser, Paul Thomas, Stanley Tidey, Harry Tribick, Matthew Tuck- wood, Alec Turnbull, Robert Turnbull, Robert Voyce, Vincent Vrooman, Hamilton Walsh, Mor- ley Wilbee, Jack Wildgust, Rob- ert Williamson, Leonard Wilson, Frank Wraith, Kenneth Yeandle. t'We have and we haven't. We have Barrs, but no prisong We have Bird, but no feathersg We have an Appel but no pear: We have a Bell but no whistle: We have a Damm and Bridges, We have a Baker but no Bread, We have a Carr but no chauf- feur, We have Beltz but no trousers. x Bannon kept eating the end of his ruler. Finally Miss Ross said, Bannon, do you know what is going to happen to you? No, Miss Ross, replied Ban- non. Well, you're going to die by inches. Miss Ross Cpointing to pencil shavings under the seatl-What are those things under your desk? Carter, blushing-My feet, Miss Ross. Mr. BryanHWhat was the greatest thing about Sir Isaac Brock? Bright student-His memory, sir. They erected a monument to it.

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COLLEGIAN, 1937. HOPES FOR THE FUTURE 4Continued from Page 19? We need only to take a look at our mother country and our fears for the future are quiet- ed. Through all these trying circumstances, democracy has shone through like a beacon in the night. The constitutional crisis of the past year was most acute. Never before has the government of a country been called upon to deal with such a condition. Here, however, our democratic government came to the fore and coped with the situation most successfully. Yes, we have a great deal to be thankful for even in these times of hardship. We have our League of Nations to thresh out any Inter- national Disputes which may arise. This organization is doing splendid work and if wars may possibly be prevented, the League of Nations, I feel confident, will do so. Also we have a new king. The king is a man of fine character and high ideals, a good example for the empire to copy. He is diplomatic and will be an inspiration to a great nation. This in itself would not change conditions I admit, but it does help to improve our outlook which is after all, half the battle. -R.K. Nisbet Centering hotelb : Say, this is a swanky place. O'Donoghue: Well, I'll say! I even had to shave before they'd let me in the barber shop. Dunbar 4' entering room? : Well, here I am, all wrapped up in my thoughts and feeling rather chilly E STRATFORD, ONT. These party-line telephones are all right. The following conversation was heard: Hello. Hello, How are you this morning ? Oh, fine. Excuse me, I have the wrong number. A tramp called at a house and asked for food. Housewife: And how would you like a nice chop? Tramp: That all depends, lady-is it lamb, pork, or wood? She: Last week I proposed to my boy- friend five times without avail. Friend: Well next time why not wear one '? Mr. Bryan: Now, who flew the first air- plane ? Elizabeth, 4stalling for timed: Who flew the first airplane '? Mr. Bryan: Right! Elizabeth: Wright! PRONUNCIATION Though Nature's Aristocracy Speak often of hyperbole They're bound to get into a hole If they pronounce it hyper-bole. Likewise no plea avails the genius Who mispronounces heinous heenius And Nemesis will overtake Even those who write a thesis But who commit the shocking break Of calling her Nemeesis. v v--'v-'- ::--- :::: -::::: -:::::H:.-- -:ev ::::::::::a 4, 4, Ig 1: 'r 'n 4, 0 0 0 4, 5: Canadian Government Annuities 3: I P 1: 5: 4 - , gf Girls! Boys! 5, 4, 4 Ig Prepare for the Future. If '4 'r ff At present rates a student by depositing 43C per week will receive S25 a If Month at Age 65 for the Rest of His Life El 1' 4: I: A. C. McILHARGEY District Representative If it in 11 il 4, 4, L:::::::: - A - - -:::::: A :::::::: -::::::: :::::::J Sixty-eight