Stratford Central Secondary School - Collegian Yearbook (Stratford, Ontario Canada)

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0 4 N 4 r S P 0 COLLEGIAN, 1937 --1- STRATFORD, ONT. T:::::::::::::: ' :::: ': ::'H f: :: f::::::::::'v it 1: ,C :E rl 2' 'C 1' 1 ' ' 11 9 .1 ,I N 'ir , se a' 4, 4 1 4 N Q 4 4, 1' Stratford C II ' t V t' l 1' .1 o egla e- oca Iona , 1: 1: 4, ' I 1, 4, 1 rlSl'll'Ut2 5 4 S 0 QE EIGHTY-THIRD YEAR Q, i 0 ,E CHOOL is situated on St. Andrew Street on the left bank of the i 1, River Avon. :E 4, Provision is made on the time-table for the following courses: E :I General, Entrance to Normal School for First-Class Public School Ia ff Teachers, Junior and Senior Matriculationg General and Special 11 1, Commercial Courses. 1: P 51 The Academic work of the Collegiate Institute is generally taken in il ,I five years - two in the Lower, two in the Middle and one in the Upper ,I ,I School. 4, P P il The Commercial course requires three years, and also includes a special II 31 one-year course composed of students who have spent at least three years 1, ,I in the Academic School. 1: P I 1: There is also a first-class department of Manual Training and Do- 'I If mestic Science, as well as an excellent department of Music open to all I: E, students. 'E ,l The teaching staff includes specialists in all departments. 'I 'r 1, Extra-curricular activities have the support of the board and staff. 'i 1, Proficiency in calisthenics, athletics, gymnastics, oratory and debating is 3 1, encouraged. I1 EI BOARD OF TRUSTEES FOR 1937 if , r 11 H. H. Dempsey, Chairman F 4 1, A. Abraham R. M. Trow Dr. W. H. K. Crehan :E 1: R. J. Easson H. M. Patterson E. T. Griffith 1: I A. T. Capper W. C. Sealy J. H. Rodgers 2 if Dr. E. H. Eidt, Secretary-Treasurer E 4 :E W. L. Sprung, B.A., Principal 1, it 2 , S , U o,,:: -::::::::::::::::::::f::::::::::::::::::vv --:J KINDLY PATRONIZE OUR .ADVERTISERS

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COLLEGIAN, 1937. FOUR A! By D, H. Four A! the pride of our fair school. Who hasn't heard of us -renowned in love and war. We are the bright, intelligent 173 students who are appreciated by all, tthat is all in our classy and are the joy of the teachers. Mr. Bryan really admires our ex- tensive knowledge of the un- known world about us. While we are the joy of Mr. Fuller's life with our keen sense of mis- understanding in that difficult subject of Algebra that only bright people such as he can conquer and subdue. Our French is the pride of Miss Stuart's teaching tho everyone can not understand our so-called pro- nunciation. At music, our voices can't even be classed in the same category as canaries rthey are far superior to usl. With our famous forethought, we long ago realized what leaving our be- loved teachers would mean, so several of us are planning to stay another year to try and make up for the loss of the others. It is well-known that to punish us is a heart-breaking task for our tender-hearted teachers so we are sent across the hall to the office, which is so conveniently close at hand. But this seldom happens, be- cause our misdemeanours are so few and far between. So to those who would be bright and the pride of their teachers, come to us for lessons in that science we know so little about-ethics. My Virgil 'tis of thee, Short road to lunacyg O'er thee I rave. Another month or so, Of Studying this, I know Will send me straight below Into my grave. D. Durst, 4A. In 4A there's a boy M. King, He thinks he's a crooner like Bing. How our patience he tries, So we smother our sighs, 'Cause we know that he really can't sing. WANTED: One strong muzzle or silencer, by Miss F. Ross for J. McCardle. CTo be used before nine o'clock and one- thirty.J LOST: 1 perfectly good tongue, from excessive wagging. Finder please return to M. McMillan, 4A. In 4A there's a Mr. S. Pope, Of our class he's the pride, and we hope That he will not fail us Though teachers bewail us Because with our work we can't cope. There once was a girl so be- nighted, She never knew when she was slighted, She could go to a party, And eat just as hearty, As if she'd been really invited. Miss McQueen: Please state the difference between the words result and Hconsequencef' M. King iknowinglyiz Results are what you expect, and conse- quences are what you get. D. Durst tto M, Wardb: Do you know that that little dog you've got there bit me on the ankle? Ward: Well, what of it? You surely couldn't expect a little dog like that to bite you on the neck, could you? Mr. Adamson: What are cal- ories? D. Hollingworthz Oh, I've heard his band on the radio. Mr. A.: You've what? D. H.: Yes. Cab. Calorie and Paul Vitamin's too. Parsley, parsley everywhere, On my daily bill of fare. See that kippered herring staring At the silly sprig he's wearing. Be it steak or creamed potatoes, Oyster plant or grilled tomatoes, Squash or scrambled eggs or scradi Each must wear its little wad: Each must huddle underneath Its accursed parsley wreath. Parsley, parsley, everywhere. Darn! I want my victuals bare. CNot original.J G. Rogers: Did you ever see a little bird with a big bill? G. Jocelyn: Yes, I once ordered quail on toast in a fashionable restaurant. Mr. Fuller irecounting a tedi- ous storyl: And then the big brute threatened to blow my brains out. A voice from the back: And did he? D. Hollingworth Ito a little boy at Park gate on King St.l: Can you tell me if I can get through this gate to the park? Little boy: I guess so. A load of hay just went through. She: My dad gives me a dollar every birthday. I have seven- teen dollars now. He: How much does he owe you? Jean Collins: Well Audrey, I hear you've started slimming. A. Couche: Yes. My aunt died and she left me a pretty dress, but she was so small! STRATFORD, ONT. There's always a tie between father and son, the speaker told the class. An irate father, glaring at R. Fraser, And you can bet the son is wearing it. M. King: The clothes my tailor makes last for years. Look at that blue serge suit of mine. There's an example. McCardle: Yes, a shining ex- ample. HOW DO WE KNOW THAT SPRING IS HERE? By Doris Forbes, 48. Ordinary prophets, talk of equinoctial gales, hoar frosts and the return of crows and robins, as signs of spring. But we of the Collegiate Institute, have our own methods of forecasting that event which have stood the test of years. The fair sex at the Collegiate are casting longing eyes at the milliners' windows these days. The boys are skipping basketball and hockey practice and drag- ging reluctantly homeward to beat rugs and clean the cellar. Theie is no doubt that Spring is in the air when Mr. Bisson- nette begins to commandeer every available dish in the school in preparation for the annual rush in frogs' eggs. We have heard from reliable authority that Mr. Sprung was seen cast- ing longing glances at a yellow sports roadster in the show win- dow of a sales room. Mr. Priest's car has shown signs of spring growing pains and has actually increased two inches in size. Country pupils spend the noon- hour comparing notes on the arrival of spring lambs, the run of sap in sugar-bushes and the arrival of spring chickens. Another indication of spring is the hordes of small children whom we see with noses pressed flat against the glass of con- fectioners' windows, gazing in round-eyed wonder at the Easter creations in chocolate. The spring deluge of roller skates, skipping ropes and marbles has descended upon the city. Florists' windows are blossom- ing forth in pots of spring flow- ers, daffodils, tulips and hyac- inths. Andvlast, but not least, June examinations are just three months away! CELEBRITIES OF 4C. The students of 4C took their part in almost every branch of school life this year and were successful in bringing some of the honours to the form. Mary Harrison won equal hon- ours with Florence Zulauf for Page Sixty-three

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COLLEGIAN, 1937. the Senior Girls' Championship runner-up for the Uuniorl Inter- runer-up for the Uuniorl Inter- mediate Boys' Championship. H. Furlong B. Linley, J. Preston, M. Graham were either on the rugby or the hockey team. 4C was certainly proud of her sportsmen. Lorne Small and Don Savage, in the both violinists played school orchestra, which, by the way, was a credit to the Collegi- ate this year. Several of the boys and girls were in the C-lee Club. Ernie Long did especially well in Mr. Bryan's shooting classes obtaining at one time 98 out of 100 marks. In the annual oratorical con- tests Phyllis Thompson and David Holmes were the repre- sentatives. Phyllis carried off first prizeg she also took part in the school play in the role of Mrs. McSpadden. Marjorie Clark and Jean Hope both took part in the Festival. I think this is ample proof of 4C outside interests being crown- ed with success, and I think it is also a good record for a fourth form. WE OFTEN WONDER WHY Marjorie Harris enjoys the walk from 40 to 3A? How Anna Roberts measures a gram? What attraction the table in the lab. has for Al Furlong? How tacks rest serenely on the seats of the desks? Why Marjorie Clark admires the nightingale? Why Alma doesn't like June in January? Where Bill Manning gets his knitting practice? Why Linley wants to be a mechanic? Why 4C has such a good repu- tation? For answers-apply to above named. CLASSIFIED ADS. Wanted Somebody to do the homework of Ken. Cunningham who has neither the time nor the am- bition. Please apply at once. Ken. Cunningham, 4C. Wanted A soft siphon for Phyllis Thompson during Chemistry periods. Apply Mr. Adamson, 4C. Wanted A lie-detector to see who really put the tack on Anna's desk. Apply Mr. Burnett, 3A. Wanted A few substantial wooden legs, nicely carved. Apply A. Cameron and M. Harris, 4C. Page Sixty- four THIRDS Step right up this way, ladies and gentlemen! See the best wax works in town! These fig- ures in their youth comprised the marvellous form of 3A in the 1936-37 term! See their effigies in wax as they were later in life when they reached the height of their prominence. Here is Mr. Bissonnette, their mathematical instructor, who in his very best mathematical man- ner versed them in that branch of arithmetical analysis known as the science of algebra. Next we have Angus Camp- bell, theologist and taxidermist, who valiantly struggled with the great theory, Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other. Then there is Ruth Colclough, culinary expert, whose recipe for Miel cake Choney to youj was her world acclaim. The recipe: 2 cups flourg 2 cups baking pow- derg 2 cups flour, 2 cups buttery 2 eggs not beaten, 2 cups honey and molasses rnixedg 2 cups flour. Next there is Donald Doherty, that noted designer of feminine fashions, who was made famous by his inspiration of slipping a gold kid waistcoat, bordered with bright blue, over a black short- sleeved dinner dress, with a vel- vet cape in a changeable orange and blue adequately covering the gown. The next figure represents Mil- dred Capper who became Bar- oness Sillie de Willy who was notorious for her exclusive din- ners and private yachts. And Raymond Frost, the croon- er, made more hearts than one flutter when he sang his famous Song for the Dessert. Here is Gilbert Gillies, stock broker, who because of his won- derful gift at mathematics the always got 100 in Geometry? was enabled to make and lose for- tunes daily by issuing a stock sheet, which told what the stocks would sell at to-morrow instead of merely what they sold at to- day. Now there is Ken Anderson who became a radio announcer. His wife made an account of everything he said: Short His- tory of Anderson Sayings, com- plete in two hundred volumes. A sample:- Here we are, home again! Hello, wifey! Oh, what a sweet little wifey! Has she got everything! Oh my, is this fun! What a riot! What a wife! Here's dinner, and what a dinner. Are we enjoying ourselves! Are We! I'll say! STRATFORD, ONT. A large crowd is gathered around a magnificent wax fig- ure crowned with sleek blonde hair. She Won distinction in the literary world as a great editor. For sixty-seven years she toiled upon a stupendous anthology which she completed in her ninety-ninth year, It consisted of thirty-seven enormous vol- umes and bears the title, The Library of Useless Knowledge by Nora Dorland. On the statue of Frank Bailey, the politician, is an appreciation: His mind was open as everyone knew, But his mind was vacant. Oh! too true! This must have been known be- cause they sent Friend Bailey to the High School Parliament. In a prominent corner, con- cealed behind a door stands the figure of a great scientist, Pro- fessor Charles Dunham, P. H, D., P. D. Q. His great contribu- tion to nature study was a vol- ume entitled t'How to Tell the Birds from the Flowers. The leading articles were How to Tell a Lark from a Larkspur? and How to Tell a Sparrow from Sparrowgrassf' A group of young girls is gaz- ing in a speechless ecstasy of admiration at the statue of Will Eckert, the famous astronomer of the twentieth century, who planet-ed little moonflowers in his garden in the hope of raising baby moons on which to exper- irnent. The young man represented in the Napoleonic attitude is Lloyd Gilroy. He was the best demon- strator of Take-Off corn- plasters and bunion reducers. A bent figure carrying a spade is Ken Farrow, who had high banking ambitions, but who turn- ed out to be the fastest ditch- digger that ever lived. The long-haired figure in the thread-bare coat is Bob Appel, poet laureate, noted for his love lyrics. He visited the jail at the height of his career to give the poor prisoners a sample of good literature. The prisoners were summoned in from breaking stone to listen to his poetry. After hearing five of his lyrics they all rose and implored the guards Take us back to the stone quarries. . This august statue clad in sombre black commemorates David Benner, an undertaker, who bravely undertook to bury all international feuds.