Stratford Central Secondary School - Collegian Yearbook (Stratford, Ontario Canada)

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COLLEGIAN, 1937 COULD YOU IIMAGINTE Mr. Charlton owning a cosmetic shop Mary Hodgins not with a Jack Albert King returning a picture of Beth McCarthy's which he had for about five months Mr. Purcell blowing down a vac- uum cleaner tube to enter- tain his son Evelyn Aberhart not going to Valentine parties and sing- ing in choirs Gordon Smith refusing a job in Milverton and coming back to school Evelyn Ab-ei-hart a movie ac- tress Marjorie Brown being six feet tall not playing Gerald Stirling hooky when school gets a little dry. Myrtle Satchell being the Cham- pion runner. One night I went visiting, And who should be there But Albert and Beth Both on the same chair, Beth rose so gracefully Blushing like a dunceg Albert left to get a picture, That had been missing for months. There is a boy in C3 called Smit- ty: He really is quite wittyg He runs when he walks, And lisps when he talks, That's the wee little boy called Smitty. C3 is noted for its pests Namely Gracie and Adag Every period of the day They poke somebody and say How about your homework. Hey! OUT OF ORDER Thx Idxal Typxwritxr Company Xvanston, Illinois Gxntlxmxn: Wx hxrxby wish to acknowl- xdgx rxcipt of your shipmxnt of Fxbruary thx twxnty-sixth,, of onx of your Xxtra-Spxcially Quixt Typxwritxrs. Howxcxr, upon opxning thx cratx wx find that for thx timx bxing wx shall bx sorxly handi- cappxd, In gxnxral, thx typx- writxr is in pxrfxct mxchanical condition, xxcxpt for onx dxtail. Through somx xrror of assxmbly, thxrx sxxms to bx a rathxr xm- barrassing omission-thxrx is no lxttxr on thx machinx for X, thx fifth lxttxr of thx alphabxt. Will you plxasx bx so kind as to xithxr sxnd us anothxr ma- chinx, or havx this onx sxriv- icxd as soon as possibx. Sincxrxly, Xric Wxlls, Prxsidxnt THX XXCXLSIOR XXPRXSS COMPANY. Page Fifty-six C2A-I. EASSON Second Fomi Cornmercial GIRLS Betty Borman, Florence Carr, Jean Carr, Georgeiana Croucher, Edith Davis, Lella Dellow, Helen Finch, Dorothy Fountain, Helen Gee, Constance Gotts, Eileen Henley, Opal Hodgins, Ruth Hunt, Delores McGraw, Ada Rigg, Marjorie Smith. BOYS Bernard Baker, Robert Bend- er, Erle Burdett, Robert Carter, Maynard Corrie, Leo Cremin, Jack Dempsey, Daniel Devlin, Albert Easson, Gordon Ford, Earl Galbraith, Earl Graf. C II B-MR. A. CHARLTON GIRLS Pearl Bird, Lillian Elder, Mar- guerite Hause, John Marshall, Thelma Maynard, Marie Monck, Ruth Nash, Mildred Pieper, Kathleen Pitts, Lorraine Pratt, Frances Riches, Edna Salter, Annie Skidmore, Laura Smith, Joybell Sternall, Gloria Welch, Marjorie Yeandle. BOYS Douglas Freeman, Walter Huras, Harry Hynd, Marshall Knowles, John McKeough, Don- ald McLean, Edward Mark, Har- old Riehl, George Scott, Bever- ley Strain, George Wallace. FORM C II-A. A - is for Ada, who is crazy for boys B - is for Betty, who makes all the noise C - is for Connie, Who is as thin as a rail D - is for Delores, who never looks pale E - is for Earl, who makes little noise F - is for Ford, who loves to play with toys G - is for Galbraith, the boy with big feet I-I - is for Helen, who can't stand the heat I - is for Ink which we use every day J - is for Jack, who mutters away K - is for Kisses, which Corrie enjoys L - is for Leo, who is always a good boy M - is for Maynard, who cackles all the time N - is for Neighbours, just to fill in this line O - is for Opal, the dunce of the class P - is for Purcell, the teacher a'las Q - is for Quarrels, which we sel- dom have R - is for Ruth, who never is sad S - is for Samson, meaning Crem- in of course T - is for Teachers, who always use force U - is for Useful, which we al- ways are STRATFORD, ONT. V - is for Vivian, 6 ft. not by far W - is for Windows, through which we do gaze X - is for Xmas, just to fill in this page Y - is for Yell! when we feel the strap Z - is for Zeal, which we do not lack. This wonderful form of C.II.A. C IIB Lilnericks We are the boys of C-2B. We think Education is free. If we'd study a bit, We'd perhaps have a fit, In this wonderful form of 2-B. CGeorge Wallacel Every Day Occurrences A true fact concerning St. Val- entine's Day, was cut out of the newspaper, the other day. A very famous Doctor in Toronto, cut out his own heart, sent it to his wife, with his most affection- ate love, and he is living to-day. Sounds like Ripley's Believe it or not, but is true. Now for the details of how it was done. A bloodless, painless, operation was carried on by himself when he took an X-ray picture of his lungs and heart, cut his heart out of the X-ray picture, put an arrow through it, and sent it to his wife. Not one ounce of chloroform did he take for this painless, bloodless operation. Small Joke Margaret: Here is a lovely scene, MacLean, of Lake Huron. MacLean: Scene my eye! all I can see is water! Little Advice Examinations make people worry and Worry-makes some people thin. It would be a good idea if Examinations came every week for a great many people. In C2B there is a boy named Strain, When he tries, it's seldom in vain It's easy to tell that he's not very well, This boy who builds castles in Spain. An English man lay very sick in a Toronto hospital and the only thing that could save him was a blood transfusion. A young Scotch boy was found to have just the right kind of blood for the Englishman. After the first transfusion the English- man gave the Scotch lad 350.00 and after the second transfusion gave him 525.00 After the third transfusion he received only 3510.00 for his services. Sandy asked the Englishman why the payments were falling off and this is the answer he received: Well, Sandy, it must be the Scotch blood you gave me that is taking effect in my veins.

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COLLEGIAN, 1937 Vera: t'Can you imagine what it is like to be in love, to sit next to the man you adore and feel your very inner- most soul vibrate? Jean: Of course, my dear, I feel like that every time Jack takes me out on his motor-bike. TEACHING MY SISTER T0 ROLLER SKATE In the spring a young man's fancy turns to love and a young woman's to Easter bonnets, future husbands, and in my sis- ter's case to roller skating. One day in March, during the noon meal, Claire announced brightly, I want to learn to skate, will you teach me Ted? There was blank silence for two minutes while I tried to get con- trol of myself. I was painfully aware of the 150 lbs. avoirdupois de ma soeur, and I had visions of the struggle it was going to be -almost as bad as teaching an elephant to ride a bicycle. But my chivalrous nature rose to the occasion. Of course, be glad to, but- Here I launched into a ten-minute recital of the hard work and danger entailed by learning to skate. No politician ever talked as emphatically as I did, but all to no avail. She had made up her mind, and you know that causing the Sphinx to smile is child's play compared with trying to change a woman's mind against her will, The following Wednesday was fixed as the day for the ordeal. In the interim my sister had pur- chased a splendid pair of Tern- Rite skates, and after supper we sallied forth. I went on foot, thinking I could support her bet- ter if I was sure of my stand- ing. I put on Claire's skates- made sure they would not come off-and gingerly assisted her to rise, We essayed a few steps, I with my right arm around her waist, she pushing her feet for- ward and out in the prescribed manner. Suddenly the skates played one of their inexplicable tricks which no one expects. They seemed to take wings and shoot forward and up, with no effort on the part of the wearer. Of course my sister's feet and legs went up too as if trying to escape the force of gravity. I managed to support her weight until she regained her feet, but my shoulder muscles creaked with the strain. Up and down the street we paraded, until after about an hour she had gained a little con- fidence, although she still felt much as a sailor does when he first lands. Then I sat on our verandah steps, put on my skates and we started off together. I took her arm and we made slow but sure progress down the road. When we came to a short decline I released my hold, thinking she could coast down unaided. Un- fortunately, at the bottom the road was sprinkled with sand which had been placed on the ice to aid pedestrians, not roller skaters. The friction naturally stopped the skate wheels, but as we learned in physics, Any body placed in a state of motion continues in motion unless com- pelled by some external force to change that state, so my sis- ter's frame continued on while her feet stood still-Result! She did a beautiful flop in the middle of the street. I steamed up and by dint of hauling and pushing got her into a vertical position, dusted her off and we continued on our way. For a quarter of an hour we skated slowly along Ontario street, enjoying the smooth even surface of the highway. Traffic was practically nil, it was be- tween 6 and 7 o'clock, when sud- denly out of the blue, a long, low, high-powered roadster came up on us from behind. The fel- low must have been late for a date, f01' his driving reminded me of Jehu, it was so furious. Just at the time I was parked on the curb, adjusting one of my toe clamps. The man came tearing along and when about 200 ft. away from my sister he slapped his hand on the horn. The shrill bark of the Klaxon of course scared her, and she made the fatal mistake of trying to turn sharply toward the curb. Her feet went up in the direction of the north star, I had a fleeting vision of a yard of silk stocking before she hit terra firma in a superb three-point landing which any aviator would have applaud- ed. I hastened up, got her on to the curb while she regained her breath and examined her anatomy. No bones broken, thank goodness, but I think I've had enough for one day. And so we turned our steps home- ward, with a thankful heart as far as I was concerned. I held her arm most of the way until we reached the sanctuary of our own street. Then I re- leased my grasp to put on my gloves for the wind was cold. Just at the instant I let go, she struck a small patch of ice which somehow had not melted. Her feet went sideways, the wheels scraping and creaking like the gears of a car when you shift without throwing out the clutch. Of course I was right handy, thanks to my unlucky star, and she grabbed me like a drowning man does a straw. In the act of struggling with re- fractory gloves I was unpre- pared, and she managed to throw STRA TFORD, ONT. me off balance. We crashed-in a pool of dirty cold water. I kept my temper, although I felt like making some cutting re- marks, and we finished the jour- ney home in silence. If you could combine the morning-after feeling, influenza, a sick head- ache and hay fever, you would have some small idea of my state of mind and body. Thus ended Claire's first at- tempt at learning to skate. She knew now from bitter experience the truth of my wa1'ning words. She had no desire to follow the humble spider's example and try, try, try again. And so I have FOR SALE: I pair Tern-Rite skates, used only once. Apply at Special Commercial. E. M. COULTER. FORM COMIMERCIAL III, MISS S. L. GREGORY GIRLS Evelyn Aberhart, Georgina Atchison, Margaret Bateman, Irene Bradley, Marjorie Brown, Rita Brown, Betty Burford, Grace Douglas, Mary Hodgins, Wilma Lane. Elizabeth Mc- Carthy, Dorothy Monteith, Rheta Murray, Lottie Rigg, Enid Rod- gers, Ruby Roesner, Joan Sarg- eant, Myrtle Satchell, Olive Schernitzki, Margaret Tribick, Ada Wilkins, Thelma Yousie. BOYS Wilfred Bennington, J o h n Dempsey, Albert King, Gerald Longeuay, Bob Sloat, Gordon Smith, Gerald Stirling, Jack Swift. HOW T0 BE UNPOPULAR WITH COMMERCIAL TEACHERS 1. Always forget to bring need- ed books to typing room. 2. When in the Lab. talk as much as you see necessary to break the monotony. Then, too, you can make all kinds of noises with the apparatus. 3. Never have a ruler for book- keeping. It is easier to draw lines with the edge of a book. 4. Mutter over your words when giving an answer in Litera- ture, This makes a favour- able impression on any teach- er. 5. Work in pencil during Arith- metic period, and don't draw a red line one inch wide on the right hand side of your arithmetic book. Mary and Jack are two lovers, They sit in French periods and spoong And when the teacher discovers, She laughingly leaves the room. Page Fifty-five

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COLLEGIAN, 1937 There is a fair damsel called Opal Who is IIA's last hope, pal, She sits there and pines, for the boys at all times Oh, what a girl is this Opal! Is Pearl a Bird? Is Lillian an Elder? Is Doug. a Freeman? Is Marg. a House? Is Marie a Monk? Is Ruth a Nash? Is Mildred a Peiper? Is Frances Rich feel? CLASSIFIED ADDS Lost One perfectly good tongue in French period. Please return to Lillian Elder in C.2,B. For Rent lpesk in good condition, with a necessar e ui ment. A l to Harry Hy,ndqC.I5.B. pp y Wanted A good unemployed man able to do 2nd form homework, wages are reasonable. Wanted A silencer for Lillian Elder during Bookkeeping pal-iod, Apply to Mr. Purcell. Wanted One lounging chair for Ted Marks, of C.2.B. Must be in good condition. twithout cast- OFSP- Apply to Miss Whitely. There's a boy in C2B named Scott, Of the girls he thinks a lot, Especially the blond, Who acts a little gone, But the HEAD MAKES NO DIF- FERENCE to Scott. Betty-I thought that was a beauty Shop, do they sell flow- ers too? Dolores-Well, you see it's a beauty Shop and a flower shop combined into one and there- fore you get a diphone. Opal and Lorraine-Ha! Ha! ADVERTISEMENT : The man who invented the NASH car certainly made plenty of RICHES. In the olden days the cars used to SKIDMORE. The MONCKS from the church- es, the Town MARSHALLS and even the little BIRDS had to get out of the way. The horns too were only little PIEPERS but now they are a STRAIN on the ears. These cars can take all the PITTS without getting a MARK on them. VVhen you are sitting be-HYND one of these cars you feel like a FREEMAN. Try one and you will have a RHIEL bargain. THREE GIRLS OF CIIA. There are three girls in CIIA Who never work, but always play. Theyire in trouble all the time, And that is why I'm writing this rhyme, To tell you about their pranks and jokes, And why they're talked about by all the folks. The teachers say they're bold and rude, But they're always in a happy mood, The three of them giggle the whole day through And you should hear the teach- ers chew. My! but these girls of CIIA Will surely turn the teachers' hair gray. CIA-H. L. JOLLY Girls: Vesta Aitcheson, Margaret An- drews, Janette Ballantyne, Dor- een Barclay, Thelma Barron, Frances B o r ni a n, Marjorie Brayne, Lyda Brown, Anna Buchert, Elizabeth Campbell, Bernice Cross, Phyllis Fletcher, Audrey Ford, Olive Foster, Carol Fuhr, Ruth Gerby, Constance I-Iartleib, Audrey Hartwick, Grace Herbert, Margrete Hor- man, Bernice Huras, Laura i-Iutchison, Marjorie Hutchison, Doris Lane, Gwendolyn Long. Boys: Arthur Ackersviller, Thomas Andrews, Bruce Burdett, Harry Davis, Percy Dallner, Edward Dawson, Jack Dolson, Norman Elgear, Donald Elliott, Howard Fitzgerald, John Hanley, MacIn- tosh Hill, Spencer Hill. CIB-A. D. PURCELL Girls: Joyce McArdle, Mary McClach- erty, Ruby McEwan, Muriel Ma- guire, June Mohr, Mildred Nich- oll, Julia Paff, Olga Pauli, Flor- ence Pratt, Doreen Richardson, Alice Scott, Mary Scott, Kath- leen Schmidt, Myrtle Sillifant, Audrey Sinclair, Jean Slater, Rose Spendiff, Ruth Towns, Doris Wettlaufer. Boys: David Jackson, Joseph Jeffrey, John Jesson, George Kiloh, Douglas Litz, Robert McClach- erty, Lloyd Magenty, Alfred Mar- shall, Alvin Martin, Lorne Mitch- ell, William Moore, William Pal- mer, Maxwell Roxburgh, Ronald Saunders, Gordon Shuetz, Stan- ley Wagner, Leonard Yousie. We wish to congratulate Mil- dred Nicoll for her success in winning second place in the First Form Oratorical Contest. Her subject was, Our F u t u r e Homes. All those who took part in the competition deserve to be congratulated for their splendid speaking. A is for Alice whose last name is Scott B is for Bob who talks quite a lot C is for Mr. Charlton our Arith- metic teacher STRATFORD, ONT. D is for David who should be a preacher E is for each of us who make up this form F is for Florence who is never forlorn G is for Gordon who stalls at his Work H is for Homework which none I J K of us shirk is for it the neuter pronoun is for Julia who never Wears a frown is for knowledge which leads to success L is for Lorne who is never in a mess M is for Mary of which there are three N is for Nicoll who is always in glee O is for Olga who is very nice P is for Palmer who fishes for mice Q is for quiet when one wants to study R is for Roxbourgh whose shoes S T are not muddy is for Saunders who always says ah is for Towns who likes sing- ing tra-la U is for us who have a lot of fun V is for victory when the work is done W is for Wagner who is very fair X is for examinations which are always hard to bear Y is for why the question we ask Z is for zeal which we need for our task. FORM CIA. A is for Arthur, who comes early to school, B is for Bernice, who needs the golden rule, C is for Carol, whose blushes de- light, D is for Don, who could think if he might, E is for Ed. whose width doesn't matter, F is for Frances, whos not like the latter, G is for Gwen, who goes out at night, H is for Harry, the teacher's de- light, I is for In, where we all should J K be at night, is for Jack, whose giggles de- light, is for King, whom we all would like to star, L is for Lazy, which none of us are, M is for Marjorie, who has never been late. N is for Norman, who tries to make dates, O is for Olive, when at Arith- metic she thinks, P is for Percy, whose brains have no links, Q is for Questions, all very hard, R is for Ruth, whose words she doth guard, Page Fifty-seven