Stratford Central Secondary School - Collegian Yearbook (Stratford, Ontario Canada)

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COLLEGIAN, I9 30 SCHOOL NOTES The Stratford Collegiate Biological Society Of course everybody realizes that the fifth formers are the social elite of the school. But l fear that on account of the exclusiveness of the society some of the lower school students might not be aware of the most important social function of the day. l refer to the meetings of The Stratford Collegiate Biological Society. This society consists of the school's Upper Ten. At its meetings questions of the utmost biological importance are discussed. The decision is always awaited by the great scientific world with the keenest suspense. A difference of opinion occurred the other clay which might have been disastrous but for the liberality of a member, Mr. L. Scobbie, who maintained in opposition to everyone else that the top of a frog's egg is light. A loud altercation ensued. Finally, when he saw the weight of opinion was against him, Mr. Scobbie graciously surrendered his position. lt might also be mentioned that the auth- oritative voice of Mr. Bissonnette is raised in these meetings. There are several research work- ers and specialists in this select group. Miss Elspie Halnan is try- ing the effects of ninety-eight per cent. on parents. Her results are encouraging and she hopes soon to increase the dose to one hundred per cent. Then there is Mr. B. Neilson. He specialized in keeping a neat record of the meetings. We are sure his manuscript will be very valuable. It looks like an antique already. Ella l-lanke has decided that she is too lady-like to cut up animalsg she, therefore, devotes her- self exclusively to flowers. Miss Wit- tig, on the other hand, determined not to bother with soft useless flow- ers but to tackle the problem from the animal's point of view. Lorna Lupton has proved to be a very im- portant member of the society inas- much as she gives us very valuable information on the cleaning of grain and on the eradication of farm weeds. We mustn't forget Joe Caw- thorpeg Joe, being a doctor's son, is very efficient in skinning little harm- less creatures. We sincerely hope Joe will follow his father's line of work. Our most capable research worker, Madeline Westman, dis- covered the other day that a great deal of wind is necessary to blow up a cat's lung. Madeline assures us that she will spread the news throughout Granton and the sur- rounding district. Of course, the most prominent member of our so- ciety is Edward R. Barret. E.dward's discoveries are so profound that it would be impossible to describe them. FIFTH FORM NOVELS The Beauties of Woodstock, by Drever Robertson. Late, Too Late, by B. Neil- son. Red Hair, by Gladys Jickling. How to be Nifty, by George Doxey. m A certain clergyman was officiat- ing at the funeral of a Wealthy pa- rishioner and was particularly anx- ious to show his good will and sym- pathy. So at a critical moment dur- ing the funeral services, he turned to the congregation and said: Dear- ly beloved, many a time, l have dandled this corpse on my knee. Wright: Why did you stop sing- ing in the choir? Baker: Because one day l didn't sing and somebody asked me when the organ was fixed. Mr. Bryan: What's the differ- ence between nectar and Elixir? Bill Campbell: Before marriage he nectar and now Elixir. 137.-

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COLLEGIAN, l930 Limerick ln Form 5A you may sometimes see, Two gossips with initials M and V, At whom with a frown Mr. Fuller shouts down, All you need is a cup of tea. In Memoriam It is with deep regret that we speak of the recent death of Brock Monteith who passed away after a most severe attack of the dread disease algebrosis. Brock was every- one's friend and our deepest sym- pathies are extended to his confed- erates. There is a young fellow named Baker, Whose feet occupy just one acre, Wherever he goes he's ashamed of his nose, This funny young fellow named Baker. WELL-KNOWN SAYINGS Far be it from me to disturb you. Surely I don't hear any talking at the back of the room, do I? Mccully, will you please take the front seat? We're almost certain that no one would mind in the least if Squeak Monteith could just find a few more peanut clusters in her desk and pass them around. If gum is useful as fuel, Mr. Beadle ought to be exceedingly grateful to Special for the daily waste-paper basket supply. Miss Easson's daily lamentation- Too late, too late, ye shall not enter here. Miss Simpson: Put your papers on my desk and Hpass out. Harry Hayhow is afraid to think hard in school, it might prove fatal. C. Heinbuch reads only the ads now! The doctors give a favourable re- port as to the condition of Bob Mc- Cully. Bob was confined to his bed for a period of three weeks. This was the outcome of the Easter ex- aminations. He was watched very carefully during the period of ex- amination preparation, but to no avail. He was determined to stand at the head of Special. The other members of his class think that this heroic sacrince of his health should be brought to the eye of the great mass of students all over the pro- vince as an example. ON HER BRIGHTNESS There is a certain girl, So Very, very clever, We all wonder, possibly If she's run by a lever. She sits right at the back Of good old Form 5A, And during all the maths, Her brilliant mind holds sway. However l can dare, To sit next to this star Must puzzle all the teachers, And give them quite a jar. One day into her secret, I tried quite hard to pry, When asked how it was done, Replied she, This is why. So l sat down prepared To get from this young sage A new and learned dictum, That would surprise this age. l thought that it would be, A very deep laid scheme, fperhaps she was a robot As told by Miss lVlcQueen.J So then I held my breath, And took out a new sheet To copy down the words Of the young maid so sweet. When what to my surprise, The few words that she said Were, lt's because l always Go early to my bed. Questionnaire-When did that happen, Marion? -M. Mc. -39.-