Stow Monroe Falls High School - Stoanno Yearbook (Stow, OH)

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C ASS PRC PH ECY According to the ancient manuscript discovered by the three famous archiologists, JIM SNEDIKER, TED ROOT, and HARRIET HENRY, it is believed there was an ancient civilization called SENIORS originating in the small city-state of Stow. This document, written 400 years ago in 'l970, deals with the life and occupations of this group of people. It was probably written by a member of this group at some time during his life time and presents a small biographical sketch of each person. Here is the manuscript in its entirety. Since TRENT BUNKER has joined the Army, the Sherman tank has become obsolete. ROBERT SCHLEMMER is now president of the only factory which makes gold-plated mink batons. JOHN BURTON now sells hot cars to ridge-run- ers. CARL HOUSLEY and CARMEN FALITICO are his best customers. PAUL WUCHTER is now stage manager of the Follies Bergere in Paris, France, where SANDRA BRAUCHER is starring in Can-Can. DENNY PETERSON and ROBERT OBLAK, the world's greatest golfers, are teeing off tomorrow in the Mount ldie Open in a field of three, Denny, Bob, and Grandma Ogg. STEVE BERMAN, intending to be the owner of a chain of Sunoco Service Stations, has become a missing link. TOM HUDSON and his choir of renown are making a command performance at OTIS LUKENS' All-County Barn Dance. MIKE VAN BRUNT is now the proud possessor of a 90,000 watt transmitter and yesterday he stuck his head out of the window and got Chile. DAVE REINHART has become a monk and is now writing The Ecclesiastical History of the Amer- ican League. MARC ARNOLD has just broken the 4-minute mile, but unfortunately it will not go on record be- cause he was being chased by the police at the time. RAY DIETZ always wanted to be in business for himself so BRUCE TRIER gave him the business. JUDY WARREN and PATTI WERLING have be- come the coaches of Coventry's football team. MICKEY BATTON joined the Navy, but every- body kept yelling, Button down the hatches, so Mickey spent most of his time in the hatches. LINDA FARINACCI, VIRGINIA GAYLORD, and MARIE KIRKPATRICK are curb girls at the Stork Club. JERRY WRIGHT, WALTER HOFF, and JIM MOELLER have opened a garage and are selling souped-up cars to middle-aged school teachers. Three of Stow's great baseball players, BILL VON GUNTEN, JERRY NICKOL, and KEN SHALL- AHAMER, have turned professional, they are now selling peanuts for Berlow at Cleveland Stadium. SALLY SHUMAN and BARBARA KUSNIR have opened a branch of the Stow Queen, Custard Last Stand, in the middle of the Sahara Desert. ERNIE BIANCHI has won the English Channel swim, but of course he did have a slight advantage over the other contestants, he has webbed feet. BOB GEISTWEITE was also in the race, but he got three- fourths of the way over, decided he couldn't make it, and swam back. EVELYN GILREATH, VIVIAN WHITE, BAR- BARA WEILAND, and MAY KELLER have joined a gypsy caravan and are now touring the Belgium Congo. CAROL HAGAT and EDITH MAHLAR have joined the Rocketts. CINDY MERRELL, LORETTA DIERSING, SALLY MILLER, and SANDRA WEYRICK are in the chorus of that new musical comedy Anna, Anna Get the lpana, Grandma Just Swallowed a Wax Banana. MELBA ADAMS and CAROL MARINICS are cheerleaders in the current Olympic Games. PATTY COON has become the head pianist in Wooster's Marching Band, and RICHARD WALTERS carries her piano. LINDA ZEISIG and PAULA ZINKANN are now making Zeisig Zinkann zippers for zany zoologists . . Zounds I I The four great scientists RONALD ROGERS, BILL VENARGE, JERRY WHITWORTH, and DICK SEMLER have just succeeded in breeding a nanny goat with a hoot owl, the result, a hootin'-nanny. An- other accomplishment of this famous quartet was the discovery of a wondrous hair thinner for people with FAT hair. VIOLET GLASS, MARIE BARKMAN, and LAW- ANNA BRADY are nurses in an animal hospital spe- cializing in the treatment of dogs with claustrophobia. RICHARD WREN and BYRON ROY are disc jockeys on Radio Free Europe. FLORENCE ALLEN and NORITA CSONKA are now teaching physical education at Harvard. The great stars, ANN MACKEY, CHARLENE ANDERSON, and LAURA ROBERTS, of Junior Play fame are now starring in the hit African movie, I Remember Mau-Mau. LARRY CROSS and GARY GARRETT have joined the Harlen Globetrotters. BEVERLY RANSOM, BARBARA NANASHE, and ELIZABETH WILLIAMS are working as models in a Tall Girls' Shop. LOWELL MCKEE is doing porcupine imitations on Zoo Parade. CARL MEADOR has become an elf working for Santa Claus and hopes to work his way up. LARRY SKEENS is pursuing a dramatic career as Flub-a-dub on the Howdy Doody Show where MARTIN SUFFOLK is President of the Peanut Gallery. Four of my classmates, PAT FLAHERTY, KENNY COWLES, DALE GLASS, and TERRY OSMAN, have formed a new recording group, The Chain Gang. Their latest hit on the Sing-Sing label is Up the Lousy River. ETHEL LOVINGOODS'S new book Short Blond Hair in the Summer and Long Brown Hair in the Winter was just published. Another great success is NANCY DAWES. You know Nancy Dawes and then again she Dawsn't. JOSETTE VINCZELLER and MARCHETA MC- CRADY'S new book Care and Training of a Pony Tail, just sold a million copies. JIM SCHAFER, LEE FULTZ, and GARY RUSCO are raising palm trees on their farm in Alaska. KAREN KOSKI, PAULA ELLIS, and SANDY SNYDER have opened a beauty shop and specialize in multi-colored eyelashes.. Their chief competitor is the beauty shop run by BARBARA TREGO, DAR- LENE KELLER, and ARLENE BREHM. Their motto is We take over where nature left off. RAY BARD, realizing his high school ambition, has entered the journalism field and has replaced Pogo in the comics. ARVELLA COLLINS and JEANNE BARNES are the greatest bullfighters in all of Spain. SHELIA CAHILL, HARRIET BROWER, and MARCIA BREWSTER have invented automatic Hula Hoops for people who are lazy. JOANN FLOWER, JOANNE HOLLAWAY, and CAROL CUMMINGS have opened a nursery and are successfully raising corn smut and wheat rust. 'GORDON BARTLETT went mad.

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