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Page 29 text:
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COMIC SECTION by Herbert Morton Teacher: Parse the sentence, UTom married Jane.u Small boy: Tom's a noun because he married something. Married is a conjunction because it joins Tom and Jane. Jane's a verb be- cause she governs the noun. 9?-X--X-9+-5615659-P99699-Ji-'91-N-96-JG Teacher: Johnnie, can you define nonsense? Johnnie: Yes, teacher, an ele- phant hanging over a elift with his tail tied to a daisy. il-N-799696-5?-Yrii--3941-ii'-JE'A'9P56 Teaeher: Johnnie, make a sen- tence out of defeat, detail and defense. Johnnie: When the cat jumped de-fense, de-feat hit the ground and then de-tail. -JPN--X--7?-If--iii?-N'5!'-X-5f'N-369096 A colored man doing a hauling job was told that he couldn't get his money until he submitted a statement. After much medi- tation he unrolled the following bill: three comes, and three goes at four bits a went - S 5.00. -l0'-X-6i-91--N'-ll--X'-3i-9!--X'!l--J!--3!--!l X'-X' First man: Doesn't your wife miss you when you stay out till three in the morning? Second man: Occasionally, but usually her aim is perfect. did?-D696-59-X-iiikii-Diifiiil-'ll'-X'9G Sinclair: Why is the tip of a dog's tail like the center of a tree? St. Clair: Why, I doin't know. Sinclair: because they are both farthest from the bark. 9996-39-36966696-31--3956959696-31-ii-if City smartie: Hey, farm Rube. Have you seen a wagonload of monkeys go by here? Farmer: No, did you fall off? -14- PECULI M1 FFJCSEHPLEN T'would be funny: If Dorothy Wilson dyed her hair ,as red as Ann Woedy's....: Of Dmeline Parham would stop wears ing make-up... If Edith Stovall would stop laughing.... If Alice Thorp would lock up her heart with the big key she wears around her neck ..... lf J.h. Pleasant could stop grinning..... If Henry Tilly could keep from whispering secrets..... lf Dorothy Wilson get a hundred on Math..... If Pauline Boyd had a short nose.. If Eloise Newby would start grow- ing .... If Robert Williford would start reducing .... If Robert Louis Stevenson's freckles would start going away.....If Marjorie Hobgood's fe't would stop grow- ing .... If David Hoyle would come back and start pointing at Edith Stovall again .... . If Lonnie Currin get caught in one of the school bus windows.. If Robert Louis Stevenson's fPickleD wasn't so oute.... If Armstead Wilkerson would be quiet in school.... If Mary Lucy Newton was as small as Herbert Uoblin ..... If Ann Woody didn't study her Math..... If Lois Wilson didn't wear short dresses. If Ann Woody had small feet .... If Alice Thorp wore her ring on her finger instead of around her neck ..... If Edith Timberlake would lose her rosy cheeks... If Margaret Faucette missed a goal in basketball,... If John Dean became lazy..... If Nette Davis would cut her long finger nails .... If Josephine Grissom would have as much pep as she has fat ..... If Edith Stovall wasn't so proud.... If Mary Ella Vaughan had straight hair...lf James Timberlake was heard across the room.... If John Dean failed on a test... If Louie Simpson wasn't so bashful...., If Lois Wilson was as quiet as James Timberlake ...... If Ann Woody didn't have freekles.... If Linnie Cottrell was low......
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Page 28 text:
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