Stoughton High School - Stotonian / Semaphore Yearbook (Stoughton, MA)

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STOUGHTON HIGH SCHOOL Desserts First Douglas Mackiernan ' 32 From time immemorial it has been the custom to have the dessert come at the end of a meal, tagging along like the caboose on a freight train. Countless generations of children have bemoaned this part, but to what avail. None, of course. Now, ladies and gentlemen, is this just? Should the poor dessert be placed always at the end? No! And Why? Well, in the first place, is it logical to place the dessert course last ? Invariably, wherever a ranking system of any kind is used, the best is first ! And who will not agree that the dessert course is best. Oh, I know that some people find great enjoyment in a huge roast ; I know that pigs ' knuckles and sauerkraut have their fine points, and there are things that may be said in favor of a luscious steak ; but not one of these can compare with the delectable deliciousness of a strawberry shortcake, or the aromatic spiceness of a mince pie. Therefore, ladies and gen- tlemen, I hold that it is more logical to place the dessert course first. Second, it is more practical to place the dessert course first. At this point some one will interrupt to say that placing the dessert first on the menu will spoil one ' s appe- tite for the rest of the meal. Exactly! That, my friend, is the basis of my sec- ond point. It would work like this: The family sits down to a dinner of roast lamb, etc., etc. The dessert, whatever it may be, is eaten first. After eating the dessert, no one feels like attacking the roast lamb, which can, therefore, be used for the next meal. The process c an be repeated at will until the lamb wears out. In fact, it is not even necessary to purchase the lamb in the first place, for obviously, if it is not eaten there is no need of having it. By this method the economical housewife would be able to balance her budget, and have enough left over to buy a washing machine, a new car, a box of matches, and three pins. My plan extends further, however. In about two months the family will have tired of eating nothing but sponge cake pies and puddings, etc. They will de- mand real, solid food. Now is the time for the fond mother to suggest spinach and carrots and cod-liver oil. They will be received with cries of joy by all the members of the family. What before they turned up their noses at, now will seem like nectar and ambrosia to them. Of course, there are always some peo- ple who detest desserts. For them I answer the question thus. If the dessert is the worst thing in the meal, it should be taken first to get the agony over with, like castor oil. If the dessert is the best thing in the meal, it should be placed first in honor of its goodness. Now, the dessert is either the best or the worst thing in the meal, therefore, it should be placed first ! Now, ladies and gentlemen, if I have carried my point, namely, desserts should be first, let us delay no longer. Let us go out into the world and convert our fel- low humans to our way of thing. Down with convention! All honor to the des- sert ! Let it forever be placed at the head of every meal, as it justly and rightly deserves to be. Ladies and gentlemen, in the name of the Dessert Manufacturers of America, Inc., I thank you. (Boos, Cheers, Apple-sauce) Hern : I don ' t care, I won ' t sing a word. Miss G. : Well then, sing the notes. Teacher : Now Mildred, what happen- ed when the cow jumped over the moon? Mildred : Somebody got the idea for vanishing cream. Patronize Semaphore Avertisers Page Twenty-one

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THE SEMAPHORE should like to leave. Yes, it is the safest seat of all. Although the office door is frosted I can see the outline of a chair in which sits a victim with the villain on duty. W hat I dread most is when he reaches for the drill. Ah ! The victim grips the chair and waits. I picture the villain grin- ning and patting his instrument. I rind that I can scarcely breathe. Now to get ready for that blood-curdling yell. It soon rends the air. I look around at the other victims and find them looking at me. Partners in misery. It is soon over. The door opens and a white-faced vic- tim hurries out. The villain stands look- ing us all over. He rubs his hands to- gether and a wicked grin covers his face. He speaks but one word — Next — but oh, how it shakes you up. Another vic- tim waddles in, and after him another, until finally it is my turn. But by this time my feelings have vanished and life ceases to be jolly but is a live night- mare instead. Henry Donovan : Coach, I can ' t get my locker shut. Coach : Take your shoes out. Miss Paine: Do we have to copy the outline of the Constitution in our note books ? Mr. M.: Will it put you to much bother ? Miss Paine : Yes. Mr. M. : Then take the bother. Miss M. : W hat is the use of an intran- sitive verb, Hallidan? Hallidan : I don ' t know. I copied it down, but I left it in my other coat. Henry Donavan : Hey, barber, gimme a glass of water. Barber : Whassa matter, hair in your mouth ? Henry Donavan : Xo, I wanna see if my neck leaks. Page Twenty Diary of a Schoolboy A. M. 7 :00 Alarm goes off. 7:15 Gets out of bed. 7:30 Eats breakfast. 7 :45 Leaves for school. 7:59 Arrives at school. 8 :00 Takes books from desk. 8:10 Goes to first class. 8:11 Opens book and looks out win- dow. 8:50 Closes book and goes to next class. 8:52 Draws pictures on book covers all period. 9:30 Decides to listen to teacher as bell rings in two minutes. 9:32 Goes to third class and writes a letter. 10:27 Arrives at Study Hall to chat. 1 1 :20 Puts books in desk and goes to recess. 1 1 :45 Tries to memorize poem for next class. 1 1 :47 Arrives at class with poem un- prepared. 12:30 Hopes bell will ring before the teacher gets around to him. 12:32 Bell rings— Saved ! 12:34 Arrives in Studv Hall to sleep till 1 :30. 1 :30 Puts books away. 1 :35 Goes to make up session. 2:20 Gets out of session and plays football. 5 :00 Eats supper. 6:00 Goes out with gang . 11:00 Goes to bed singing, Just An- other Day W asted Away . Mr. K. : What are the chief products of Italy? Harding : Wine, rum and immigrants. Mr. M. : In the early days the explor- ers had to go around the tip of South America to reach the W estern coast. Smith : W hy didn ' t they go through the Panama Canal ? Patronize Semaphore Advertisers

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Q)cAa)fy ews THE HIKING CLUB What ho ! Another eventful hike has passed on in the memories of a few high- spirited members of the hiking club. The illustrious group started from the square at 9:50 with lunches and cameras and headed toward that picturesque pond of Ames in North Easton. After a few hours of trudging through the under- brush and dusty roads the goal was reached. A few ambitious members donned their respective bathing suits and went in for an exhilerating swim. The group of seven or eight swam out toward a raft in the center of the pond and from there on across to the other side. After swimming back, the group ate lunch and played a few games. As the day wore on a racing shell dotted the horizon and an ambitious member of the Ames ' family tore past the group. A canoe was secured by a few of the girls and a glorious time was had exploring the corners of the pond. Yes suh, that certainly is a pretty place. After a few games on shore, the group started toward home in the beginning of what seemed to be a rainstorm. However, the rain cleared up and the group reached their respective homes safe and dry. Another hike has been planned to Ames in the near future. The hiking club members attended their second hike on Thursday. April 14. Miss Catherine Herron led the group under the supervision of Miss Proctor and Miss Earnshaw. A contest was held to determine the best group. The final decision was in favor of Claudia Hart ' s group, first, and Lauraine Phillips ' group, second. The group hiked to Lakewood Pines in West Stoughton. There they stopped Page Twenty-two for a rest and played games. Two songs were sung throughout the hike. The route home was entirely differ- ent from the first. The S Club committee meeting was held on Monday, April 18. Reports were given on the progress of advertising, re- freshments, orchestra, dancing, tickets, etc. Each individual report was discussed and voted upon. Everything was settled for Fridav night and then the members adjourned. SOPHOMORE NEWS Sports Review of 1931-32 The Sophomore Class has had a very good year in sports, in spite of the fact that we have had no class teams. In football, a number of Sophomores were on the squad and three made their let- ters. Small as this number is, the class will have more lettermen next year. After football came basketball and many Sophs were doing their bit for dear old S. H. S. Many stars were found and again three more Sophs earned their letters. Their playing was excellent and you ought to know who they were : Pye, Klund, and Kell. Then came the national game, base- ball, and the Sophomore men overran the diamond. Lehan, Klund, and Pye seem to stand out, but keep an eve on the others. They ' re all good. GYM DAYS A plan has been devised to insure ex- ercise for the Stoughton High girls. Every girl is required to report to the gym about twice a week. There they play games and take general exercise for one period. In that way, all of the less ath- letic type get the required amount of exercise. Patronize Semaphore Advertisers