Stoughton High School - Stotonian / Semaphore Yearbook (Stoughton, MA)

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THE SEMAPHORE should like to leave. Yes, it is the safest seat of all. Although the office door is frosted I can see the outline of a chair in which sits a victim with the villain on duty. W hat I dread most is when he reaches for the drill. Ah ! The victim grips the chair and waits. I picture the villain grin- ning and patting his instrument. I rind that I can scarcely breathe. Now to get ready for that blood-curdling yell. It soon rends the air. I look around at the other victims and find them looking at me. Partners in misery. It is soon over. The door opens and a white-faced vic- tim hurries out. The villain stands look- ing us all over. He rubs his hands to- gether and a wicked grin covers his face. He speaks but one word — Next — but oh, how it shakes you up. Another vic- tim waddles in, and after him another, until finally it is my turn. But by this time my feelings have vanished and life ceases to be jolly but is a live night- mare instead. Henry Donovan : Coach, I can ' t get my locker shut. Coach : Take your shoes out. Miss Paine: Do we have to copy the outline of the Constitution in our note books ? Mr. M.: Will it put you to much bother ? Miss Paine : Yes. Mr. M. : Then take the bother. Miss M. : W hat is the use of an intran- sitive verb, Hallidan? Hallidan : I don ' t know. I copied it down, but I left it in my other coat. Henry Donavan : Hey, barber, gimme a glass of water. Barber : Whassa matter, hair in your mouth ? Henry Donavan : Xo, I wanna see if my neck leaks. Page Twenty Diary of a Schoolboy A. M. 7 :00 Alarm goes off. 7:15 Gets out of bed. 7:30 Eats breakfast. 7 :45 Leaves for school. 7:59 Arrives at school. 8 :00 Takes books from desk. 8:10 Goes to first class. 8:11 Opens book and looks out win- dow. 8:50 Closes book and goes to next class. 8:52 Draws pictures on book covers all period. 9:30 Decides to listen to teacher as bell rings in two minutes. 9:32 Goes to third class and writes a letter. 10:27 Arrives at Study Hall to chat. 1 1 :20 Puts books in desk and goes to recess. 1 1 :45 Tries to memorize poem for next class. 1 1 :47 Arrives at class with poem un- prepared. 12:30 Hopes bell will ring before the teacher gets around to him. 12:32 Bell rings— Saved ! 12:34 Arrives in Studv Hall to sleep till 1 :30. 1 :30 Puts books away. 1 :35 Goes to make up session. 2:20 Gets out of session and plays football. 5 :00 Eats supper. 6:00 Goes out with gang . 11:00 Goes to bed singing, Just An- other Day W asted Away . Mr. K. : What are the chief products of Italy? Harding : Wine, rum and immigrants. Mr. M. : In the early days the explor- ers had to go around the tip of South America to reach the W estern coast. Smith : W hy didn ' t they go through the Panama Canal ? Patronize Semaphore Advertisers

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STOUGHTON HIGH SCHOOL On Springs Matthew Jacobs ' 32 Spring is an awful nice word. It isn ' t stingy. It means a lot of things. For in- stance, there ' s the s p rings in our watches; we know they ' re there because we break them so often. Then there ' s the springs in beds and the springs that are supposed to be in Fords — these springs are very necessary, their lack is painful. And then there ' s the springs we all make every four years. If you ' re a girl you spring forward, if you ' re a man you spring back, if you ' re wise. But the most common spring is the one that comes every year on March 21. It ' s called a season because people are apt to seize on some funny ideas about that time. Some seize on the idea that they ' re poets, and the barbers curse and swear because poets never have their hair cut, you know. Other people seize on love — it ' s queer what spring will do to sensible people. Lots of things come in with spring : April showers, spring lamb, spring fev- er, poetry, mud, new hats , proms and angina pectoris. Spring is what you call versatile. It ' s the time of the year when Nature paints the trees and flowers, property owners paint their houses, and pretty girls paint their — old straw hats, of course. In the park the tulips come out in their new red coats, the benches, in their new green coats, and the policemen in their new blue coats. We are glad winter ' s over because now we can walk safely with our feet in the mud and our heads in the clouds, instead of finding, every three steps, our feet in the clouds and our heads on the ice. It rains a lot in spring — April showers, they call it. They ' re supposed to be the advance agents for the flowers that bloom in May. However, they begin in March and between them and the March wind we get lots of exercise. But after we ' ve got muscular paralysis in our right arms from opening and shutting our umbrellas, we give it up and run be- tween the drops. Spring is awfully convenient to stu- dents. Those who don ' t know much are not expected to know anything, and those who know a lot can rest up a little and be bright by comparison. Spring has a melting effect on more than snow. It melts the hard-hearted butchers and the hard-hearted instructors, too, because cuts come in the spring — spring lamb in the markets, and classes in the schools. I Ionest, ain ' t Spring grand ! Next Ruth Cushing ' 32 Next — I can never hear that word but I shiver. To me it brings memories of a visit to the dentist. I am never in a hurry to reach the office but would try to tell myself that my tooth did not ache as much as it did a minute ago. Finally, the- building looms in sight. I usually walk up and down the street before en- tering. Then, with a little courage, I mount the stairs. Oh! If they were only longer. Then the door. By this time 1 am Patronize Semaphore Avertisers shaking as if I had palsy. The first thing I know I ' m standing in the waiting room. I am not alone in my misery. Other vic- tims are sitting there, grief written all over their faces. Some try to be calm and pick up a magazine but their fingers twitch. Most of them have their faces turned to the door leading to the office with ears tuned for any noise out of the ordinary. I generally take a seat nearest to the street doorway just in case I Page Nineteen

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STOUGHTON HIGH SCHOOL Desserts First Douglas Mackiernan ' 32 From time immemorial it has been the custom to have the dessert come at the end of a meal, tagging along like the caboose on a freight train. Countless generations of children have bemoaned this part, but to what avail. None, of course. Now, ladies and gentlemen, is this just? Should the poor dessert be placed always at the end? No! And Why? Well, in the first place, is it logical to place the dessert course last ? Invariably, wherever a ranking system of any kind is used, the best is first ! And who will not agree that the dessert course is best. Oh, I know that some people find great enjoyment in a huge roast ; I know that pigs ' knuckles and sauerkraut have their fine points, and there are things that may be said in favor of a luscious steak ; but not one of these can compare with the delectable deliciousness of a strawberry shortcake, or the aromatic spiceness of a mince pie. Therefore, ladies and gen- tlemen, I hold that it is more logical to place the dessert course first. Second, it is more practical to place the dessert course first. At this point some one will interrupt to say that placing the dessert first on the menu will spoil one ' s appe- tite for the rest of the meal. Exactly! That, my friend, is the basis of my sec- ond point. It would work like this: The family sits down to a dinner of roast lamb, etc., etc. The dessert, whatever it may be, is eaten first. After eating the dessert, no one feels like attacking the roast lamb, which can, therefore, be used for the next meal. The process c an be repeated at will until the lamb wears out. In fact, it is not even necessary to purchase the lamb in the first place, for obviously, if it is not eaten there is no need of having it. By this method the economical housewife would be able to balance her budget, and have enough left over to buy a washing machine, a new car, a box of matches, and three pins. My plan extends further, however. In about two months the family will have tired of eating nothing but sponge cake pies and puddings, etc. They will de- mand real, solid food. Now is the time for the fond mother to suggest spinach and carrots and cod-liver oil. They will be received with cries of joy by all the members of the family. What before they turned up their noses at, now will seem like nectar and ambrosia to them. Of course, there are always some peo- ple who detest desserts. For them I answer the question thus. If the dessert is the worst thing in the meal, it should be taken first to get the agony over with, like castor oil. If the dessert is the best thing in the meal, it should be placed first in honor of its goodness. Now, the dessert is either the best or the worst thing in the meal, therefore, it should be placed first ! Now, ladies and gentlemen, if I have carried my point, namely, desserts should be first, let us delay no longer. Let us go out into the world and convert our fel- low humans to our way of thing. Down with convention! All honor to the des- sert ! Let it forever be placed at the head of every meal, as it justly and rightly deserves to be. Ladies and gentlemen, in the name of the Dessert Manufacturers of America, Inc., I thank you. (Boos, Cheers, Apple-sauce) Hern : I don ' t care, I won ' t sing a word. Miss G. : Well then, sing the notes. Teacher : Now Mildred, what happen- ed when the cow jumped over the moon? Mildred : Somebody got the idea for vanishing cream. Patronize Semaphore Avertisers Page Twenty-one