Stoughton High School - Stotonian / Semaphore Yearbook (Stoughton, MA)

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STOUGHTON HIGH SCHOOL My Ailments Richmond Leonard ' 32 I have several ailments : namely, hay fever, hay fever, and hay fever. Of all these ailments, hay fever is the worst. One who has never experienced — ka- choo ! — pardon me — hay fever, is inclined to poke fun at the sufferer, but woe be unto him should he contract such a di- sease. This dreadful disease found me for its victim some five years ago. At that time I was making the most of what I expected was to be a very enjoyable va- cation. But that shows how little one knows of what is to come. Well, as I was saying, I was enjoying myself in a little town on the coast of Maine. One evening my father, mother, and I took a little walk up the road, the edges of which were fringed with ragweed (harmless lit- tle plants, I thought them to be!) The next morning, as I was eating breakfast, I broke into a violent fit of sneezing. You must have a cold, my father said. Cold or no cold, I did not sneeze again until the next morning when an even more violent sneezing spell seized me. During that day I sneezed more of- ten, my eyes watered, and I was forced to blow my nose at frequent intervals. By the morning of the third day after the first sneezing spell, my parents were convinced that I had a cold. The doctor had recommended, the previous winter, an excellent tonic, and so nothing would do but that my father should buy a bottle and that 1 should take that vile, ill- tasting stuff ! I took that tonic for one week. At the end of that time it was plain to see that my cold was no better. It was then that it was first suspected that I might have hay fever. No sooner was that men- tioned than my father and I sprang into action. We immediately became custo- mers at the nearest drug store, where a supply of pills, sprays, and balms were bought. Alas, it was to no avail. Hay fever could not be cured. Only one day of real enjoyment did I get during that vacation, and that was the boat trip from Portland to Boston. Upon my arriving home, I sought the doctor, who supplied me with medicine which eased my suffering to only a slight extent. Relief came only with the first frost. I was about to say permanent re- lief, but I have come to the conclusion that there is no permanent relief, for hay fever has greeted me each fall for the last four years. This year it could not wait until fall but has already visited me. If it keeps on as it has thus far, I am convinced I should not enter Bowdoin nexr September but should enroll in the Floating University. So, in conclusion, I express these two desires : ( 1 ) that he who thinks hay fever is a joke just wait until he gets it ; and (2) that he who pities a hay fever suffer- er never be the victim of such a disease. Moreover. I fondly dedicate this essay to F. S. M., F. J. J. and E. R. T., who have done the least to relieve the suffer- ings of a hay fever victim. Miss P.: I ' ll give you just one day to hand in that paper. Crowley : All right. How about the Fourth of July ? The young man was telling his aged aunt how he was hurt while playing foot- ball. I was coming with the ball, he said, when someone grabbed me around the legs and I fell and hit my shoulder. Don ' t they throw down anything for you to fall on? the old lady asked. Miss A. : Dunkerly, I thought dinner time was over when the bell rang. Dunkerly : Aw, this is only dessert. Patronize Semaphore Avertisers Page Seventeen

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A Visit to An Antique Factory Douglas Mackiernan ' 32 Last June I had the privilege of visit- ing Mr. Knott T. W ood ' s famous antique factory in Hingham. I was conducted through the factory by Mr. Wood him- self, who explained all the processes necessary to manufacture an antique. We started our tour of the factory at the receiving department where the wood used in the work is brought in. Immedi- atelv after the wood enters the receiv- ing room, it is sent to the preparation shed. Here the wood is put through a large tank of hot water. Then it is ex- posed to the light of mercury arcs to sim- ulate sunlight. Next it is sent through a drving oven, from which it emerges bleached and weather-beaten. From this department we followed the wood to the shaping shop and the assembly room. Here the various articles of furniture were assembled. They bore as yet no resemblance to an antique. Mr. Wood ex- plained that the antique effect was the re- sult of putting the furniture through the last and most interesting process, the ageing process. On the left, said Mr. Wood, as we entered the finishing department, is our corps of expert worm-hole drillers. These men can produce a worm-hole in a piece of furniture that would even fool a worm. We walked over to view the process closer at hand. I noticed that every hole was gauged carefully, and I asked Mr. Wood the reason for it. That. said Mr. Wood, is the result of an unpleasant incident a few months ago. A man brought in one of our Louis X armchairs with a large piece out of one of the lees. He declared that a worm got caught in one of our worm holes, and the other worms who had come to his rescue had been forced to cut away a large part of the leg to release the pris- oner. We have now taken precaution against a repetition of this incident by making all the holes large enough for any worm. Farther along the floor of the building we came upon the Dents and Bumps De- partment. Here a group of three experts labored to produce realistic bumps and nicks in the furniture. Their equipment for this work consisted of a large ham- mer, a crowbar, a pneumatic riveter, and several hydraulic presses. Xext we came to the place where the moth holes were put in the upholstery. A man sat in a chair with a brush in one hand and a jar of acid in the other. A workman would bring up a piece of fur- niture and place it before him. Then the expert in the chair would sprinkle acid over the upholstery, thus creating the moth holes. Mr. Wood here explained that they were trying to train genuine moths for this work, as it was hard to control the action of the acid. From this department the furniture, now as antique as possible, went to the shipping room. From here it is sent to various farm houses around the country- side, where the antiques are purchased as usual by the antique hunters. The plant has a capacity of about two hun- dred 200-year-old pieces of furniture a week. If any of you are interested in purchasing one of these fine pieces of furniture, I will be glad to get it for you at wholesale rates. Page Sixteen Patronize Semaphore Advertisers

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THE SEMAPHORE New Shoes Despina Yacoulis ' 32 All shoes have at one time or another heen new. Just as you and I were once new so were they once in that same glor- ious situation. Ah yes, I know for a cer- tainty that that is true. How do I know? Ah, me, when one is as experienced as I . . . . just listen. Have you ever bought the nicest look- ing pair of shoes? Shoes that look so smooth and comfortable and feel won- derful when you try them on in the store? You have? Good. Well then, and have you felt the slightest pinch and tried not to notice it? Oh no, you never notice it, especially when the nice clerk tells you you ' re getting a wonderful fit, and a marvelous looking shoe. Notice, please, how it enhances your instep and what ' s more it ' s a bargain — only four dollars and fifty cents for a six dollar shoe. Oh yes, and it is the latest model from a New York show window. Sweet words ! You ' ve heard them ? Fine, we shall continue. Have you taken the shoes home and put them away to wear for the next day ? You can already hear the exclamations of your friends as they admire the leath- er and the trimmings of your new foot apparel. Ah, yes, and the next day you put the shoes on. They feel fine, but with a little tinge you know that they really look better than they feel. Well, anyhow, you start out for your destination. Possibly you meet a friend or two on the way who make you pirouette around to ad- mire your foot-gear. Are you quite sure all that has happened to you? You are? All right. Have you noticed that after the first two hours of wearing your shoes you feel a little uncomfortable and sick? You know there are at least two blisters on your heel and at least one on each of your big toes. Oh, what a sensation ! Another hour goes by and you feel as if Page Eighteen you could readily choke the next person who talks to you. Ah, if only you could remove the Xew York show window model shoe and put on the oversized slippers of a washwoman. The day pass- es somehow and at last you wend your weary way homeward. You long for a glimpse of your chimney. Half way home you vow you ' ll sit down and take off the consarned things and limp home in your stocking feet. What will the neighbors say ? The neighbors can go hang them- selves. No, but maybe it would be best to get home without removing the shoes. You ' ve experienced those pains. Have you arrived at your yard, kicked the Xew York model shoes off and with exquisite torture climbed the steps into the house ? You have ? And did you vow to get a second hand pair of sneakers from the junk man to wear on the mor- row? You ' ve done all those things? Come along with me, friend, and we ' ll look for some sneakers together. We ' ve been sharers in pain but now we ' ll be sharers in comfortableness. Come on ! Miss G. : Kell, what is one-half of one-tenth ? Kell : I don ' t know but it can ' t be much. Mr. M. : Who are the three greatest presidents ? J. Grigas : Well, you see, they haven ' t elected me yet. Jasmin : The boss offered me a sort of partnership in the business today. La France : No? Jasmin: Yes, he said if I didn ' t take an interest he ' d fire me. Fay: Minny is terribly dumb. She thinks Mussolini is a town in Austria. Elky : You don ' t say. And where is it? Patronize Semaphore Advertisers