Stoneham High School - Wildlife Yearbook (Stoneham, MA)

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JUNE 1934 THE S. H. S. AUTHENTIC 11 their work, passersby stop in their tracks, all traffic is at a standstill, as the footman, whom I recognize as Horace Crandall, and the chauffeur, his twin brother, Herbert, step out to assist His Honor. A ruddy-faced, middle-aged man, attired in a silk hat and a morning coat, looking very dignified, alights from the car, puffing viciously on a choice perfecto. Who is it but Edward McCarthy, the people’s choice as mayor. The squadron salutes and escorts the Honorable Mr. McCarthy across the Square to the beautiful new City Hall, which has been built on the site of the old Dow Block. As he steps into the ele- vator he is greeted with a cheery “Good morning, your Honor,” from the elevator man, Albert Bruce, who, you will remember, always claimed that he would get up in the world. Douglas Connor and Robert Stinson, political henchmen to the mayor, sit peacefully in the mayor’s office, helping themselves to the mayoralty brand of cigars, and reading the mayor’s morning mail. Upon the arrival of Stone- ham’s first citizen, Stinson nonchalantly rises from the mayor’s easy chair and politely squats on the mahogany desk. He shows Mayor McCarthy an invitation to speak at the Annual Clam Bake and Spelling Bee of the Stoneham Women’s Republican Club of which Margaret A. Wallace is president and of which Lena Abair, Helen Clark, Katherine Elers, Dorothy LeBlanc and Vesta Coombs are prominent members. The offer is rejected by his honor, who preferring hamburgers to clams, says that he will accept the invitation to the Ward 7 Tammany Club’s Hamburg Festival. The well known ward leader and orator, Bernard “Big Mike” Scully, is chairman of the committee in charge of the Ham- burg Festival and is being assisted by City Treas- urer Edmund Blood, City Solicitor Ashton Clark, Congressman Robert Arnold, Alderman William Gibbons, and Representative Earle Gould. The mayor then reads a communication from Chase and Meehan, Inc., tobacco dealers, which is written as follows: Dear Mr. Mayor: Election Day is drawing near and you will need a new supply of cigars. Place your order with us and be sure of satisfaction. Our cigars are made to re- sist even the sharpest of teeth, and are guaranteed to last one hour, twenty-four minutes and six sec- onds. Children cry for them, adults walk seven- tenths of a mile for them, they’re so good. What this city needs is a mayor who smokes a good fif- teen cent cigar such as our Civic Pride” Brand. Yours for bigger and better smokes, John Chase. Robert Meehan. Another letter, bearing the postmark, Concord, Mass., is read. It is a message from Arthur Per- kins, publicity manager for Lieut. Austin Junkins, of the Stoneham-Melrose Air Dispatch, who has just completed a trans-country flight in the record time of ten hours. In his honor a Welcome Home Cele- bration will be staged by the city. A postscript states that Harold McDonough, a stowaway, was discovered in the rear cockpit after the arrival at Concord. It seems that Harold wanted to visit his old friend, Charles Leete, who is at the Reforma- tory, where he is giving his famous lecture course on “Why the Well Dressed Man Will Choose Yellow for His Summer Wardrobe.” During the time Charles is spending at the Reformatory, he is the personal guest of the Warden, George Grover. At this juncture, the mayor’s secretary, whom I recognized as Doris Bruce, enters the sanctum with the official appointment book. On this day the mayor is slated to be present at the noonday meet- ing of the Stoneham Lion Tamer’s Club, the presi- dent of which is Charles Rollins, a public spirited citizen and prominent member of the Class of ’34. Charlie is managing a small group of actors made up of the great grandchildren of the famous Sing- er’s Midgets. (He always did go in for little things in a big way.) The mayor also has an appointment with Attorney James Smith concerning a law suit brought against the city by Smith’s client, Ethel Noyes. Ethel claims in her suit for $10,000 that her health was impaired because of the noise made by a large tractor of the Harris Marshall Construction Company which was working on a municipal pro- ject near her home. Just as Mayor McCarthy is preparing to leave his office, a man comes in — oh, yes, I can see who it is now — it is Paul Davis and he seems to be selling something. No, he is a poet and wants to sell the mayor a few campaign slogans. Davis, so the See- ahead-o-graph reveals, has become famous for his introduction of the new game of rhymes, called, Dropping a Bomb in Moscow from the Irustsh Limited at Five-thirty of a Sunday Afternoon, Late in September.” As a sample, Davis offers this rhyme to the may- or: “Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey, Along came a spider, And sat down beside her, And said, ‘Please pass the salt’.” After this wild session, we leave the mayor’s of- fice and the next picture we see is that of the huge Stoneham Theatre owned and operated by Frank Morris. It is night and we can see emblazoned across the gaily lighted marque the words, “Now playing, George Magrath’s Scandals, starring Nata- lie Fiumara and Eddie Marsh, supported by a danc-

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10 THE S. H. S. AUTHENTIC JUNE 1934 dreams. The attainment of this height finds us able to see more clearly the world that is at our feet. There are roaring cities, deep forests, turbu- lent streams, green valleys below us. Above are the clouds, white and luminous, which represent the figures of our imagination. We are, then, ready to start the World’s Work. Eagerly we await our part in it and with the help of Divine Grace, we will make histories of our own. Claire Wells. LAST WILL OF S. H. S. AUTHENTIC Be it remembered that I, the Authentic of Stone- ham, in the county of Middlesex and Commonwealth of Massachusetts, being of sound mind and memory, but knowing the uncertainty of this life, do make this my last will and testament, hereby revoking all wills and codicils heretofore made by me. After the payment of my debts and funeral charg- es, I bequeath and devise as follows: To the Class of 1935 the privilege of carrying on my business for another year, on the condition that they surrender this right to the Class of 193G, the following year. Also to the Class of 1935, the Authentic box in the Library. Though not the source of much literary material, the gossip usually contained therein is sure to be of the spiciest calibre. In testimony thereof, I heretofore set my hand and declare this to be my last will this fifteenth day of June in the year one thousand nine hundred and thirty-four. The Authentic. The Authentic Staff desires, in this, our last issue, to thank all those who have helped so greatly to- wards making the Authentic a success. We wish to thank all those who contributed, all who spent such long hours typewriting, all the class editors, the faculty, Mr. Davis, who always gener- ously granted us the use of Room 15 for our meet- ings, and finally all those who supported us so well by buying our magazine. In receding to the background, we wish to thank Mr. Reed and Mr. Hoyt, our advisors, who have done their utmost to make the Authentic a success. We also wish to express our grateful thanks to Mr. Andrew S. Flagg, whose work has greatly improv- ed the appearance of the Authentic. Signed, The Authentic Staff of 1933-1934. THE PROPHECY OF THE CLASS OF 1934 Robert Callahan Dear friends and fellow-members of the Class of 1934: Must I confess that I come before you this even- ing not to present a sure thing but to perform an experiment? Must I confess that in spite of all my thought of the past few weeks, all my sleepless nights, and days of extreme concentration, I have been unable to put into definite and concrete form the pictures of the future which, as class prophet, I had hoped to give you tonight? Instead, I am obliged to rely upon the accuracy of a truly ingenious scientific instrument, the See- ahead-o-graph, to reveal the destinies of the mem- bers of the Class of 1934. We are deeply indebted to Colonel Stoopnagle and his partner, Bud, for it was the inventive genius of these two great scien- tists which made it possible for us to have the in- valuable assistance of the See-ahead-o-graph. Through the medium of this invention, amazing in its prognosticating powers, I assure you, I will at- tempt to present to you a vivid picture of the lives- to-be of the illustrious members of this, our most illustrious class. Before I pierce the veil of the future, however, may I impress upon you the solem- nity of the occasion and may I, in the words of Rob- ert Browning’s immortal Rabbi Ben Ezra, enjoin you to “Grow old along with me, The best is yet to be.” (Starts engine and peers into the See-ahead-o- graph.) It is the year 1960, and the first scene which the See-ahead-o-graph reveals is a large busi- ness center of a prosperous looking community. The vague outlines become more and more clear. I am now able to make out the large buildings and the signs overhead. The triangular arrangement of the business center appears familiar. Alas, can it be the Stoneham Square of the future? Why, yes, it must be. For there in the center of all the traffic, commanding autoists and pedestrians and guiding bewildered children through the maze of speeding autoists, is J. Herbert “Bigfeet” Blinn, commander-in-chief of Stoneham’s finest. Merely a military motion of his hand brings forth a squadron of six subordinate officers, who await the town car of the mayor. In the honor guard I can see Wins- ton Newman, Melvin Atherton and Donald Cutter, whose Scouting experience of their school days stands them in good stead now. Others in the group, if my vision may be trusted, are Hobart Howes, and Ralph Chapman. With loud screeching of brakes, the expensive sedan comes to an abrupt halt in the center of the Square, where Chief Blinn and his cohorts stand at attention. Business men leave

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12 THE S. H. S. AUTHENTIC JUNE 1934 ing chorus of beautiful girls, including Kitty White, Jean Sullivan, Virginia Haradon, Jeanne Sparkes, Kitty Kelly, Cornelia Weeks, Eva Southall.” A fea- ture of the show is Wild Bill Dolan, the Hill Billy singer. The orchestra at the theatre is under the direc- tion of John McDonough, and includes Ed Mahoney, the slide-trombonist, ‘‘tearing music off by the yard;” Earl “Rudy” Gross, the crooning saxophon- ist, and William White, the dreamy drummer. Entering the theatre lobby for the opening per- formance, I see Donald Blanchard and Claire Wells, Mrs. Blanchard to you, and three little Blanchards tugging at their father’s coattail. Don is professor of French at Tufts now, but still makes his home in Stoneham. Standing in the lobby also is another well known S. H. S. couple, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Roach. Do I have to tell you that Mrs. Roach is the former Eleanor Brown? Hennie is the New York Yankees shortstop who has just recently es- tablished a new stolen base record. Ellie is a daily spectator at the Yankee Stadium where she sits and paints pictures of her better half in action. Standing in the lobby at the entrance to the thea- tre, garbed in a red and gold uniform bedecked with medals and tassels galore, and looking as important as ever, is Rayford Mann, graciously bowing and di- recting as he takes tickets. The head usher at the theatre is Paul Cunningham, who also makes an ad- mirable appearance in his trim uniform. But suddenly the theatre view fades away and next I see a beautiful new structure, modern in ev- ery respect, standing in the North end of the town. It is the new Stoneham Preparatory School for Boys. There in the headmaster’s office sits James L. Rich. Jimmy has been active in the education field and has completed several theses on modern education. Only recently he headed a vigorous drive against the modern Latin text book, edited by Viola LaPierre, th e old Latin shark herself, on the grounds that it was written in a foreign language and aided in spreading Fascisti propaganda. Through Stoneham’s State Senator, Emil D’Entre- mont, he has introduced a bill on Beacon Hill, car- rying the demand for a tariff on ablative absolutes. In the same district of the town I see the power- ful new broadcasting Station BLAH, owned by Don- ald Grundberg, the famous radio technician. Grund- berg’s advertising is handled by the firm of Doyle and Pinciaro, known to us in the old days as Helen and Rita. Let’s take a look at some of the talent employed at the station. Emily Dalton, known to her radio fans as Miss Millie, gives “Advice to the Lovelorn” daily from eight until seven. Clifford Jones, the creamy voiced tenor, is featured on the Lord Milk Hour, singing his theme song, “Love Thy Cows.” Mary Donovan, the children’s favorite, reads her own bed-time stories each evening under the sponsorship of the Palmer Chain Stores, Roy Palmer, president. Regina Mahoney lectures week- ly on “What Your Dreams Mean and Why.” Ade- line Newcomb, the famous astrologist, reads palms over the radio. Her announcer says, “If you wish your palm read send it to Miss Newcomb in care of the station to which you are now listening.” The scene is shifting again. The next view I see is that of the Harvard Stadium. It is a bleak No- vember day. The annual Harvard- Yale game is in progress and on opposite sides of the field I see the two coaches, Peter Savelo, Yale’s builder of men,” and Stan Brooks, Harvard’s “mussle maker.” Trav- elling again, I next visit the artists’ colony at Prov- incetown where I see on the sands, busily painting a waterfront scene, Jane Arnold, the eminent New York artist, who deserts her Park Avenue home each summer for the mosquitoes, sand-flees, and cod fish of Provincetown. The “See-ahead-o-graph” jumps once more and the next picture is that of the Annual Teachers’ Convention at Bridgewater. Among those present are Mary Anderson, head of the Boston University French Department; Jane Zemer, Analytical Bac- teriology Instructor at Radcliffe (where, incidental- ly, Betty Boos is head of the Art Department). Helen Lister has come down from Mt. Holyoke where she is teaching Psychological Zoology. Returning to Stoneham, the “See-ahead-o-graph” presents a picture of the new Stoneham Common, part of the recently completed Civic Center. It is afternoon and the Stoneham Civic Symphony Or- chestra, under the direction of George Panosian (Professor George Panosian, of the Panosian School of Music), is playing. Included in the orchestra are names familiar to S. H. S. music lovers: Iris Kel- man, Marjorie Munn, Wanda Konapacka, Helen Lis- ter. At one corner of the spacious common is a famil- iar figure, the great Carl Weiss. Taking advantage of the large crowd on hand, Carl has set up his time-worn soap box and is beginning one of his lengthy orations on the pros” and “cons” of Social- ism. Carl, by all appearances, has lost none of his old cunning and is talking as loudly as ever. Across the street from the common is the beauti- ful building of the Stoneham Dramatic Society. Drama in all its stages is taught here and all the types of plays, from the classics to the current fa- vorites, are presented. Colin Roberts and Phyllis Peterson are the directors. A poster outside an- nounces that “Hamlet” is to be revived tonight with Karl Frick in the title role and Richard Potter as the Ghost. Nearby I can see the Stoneham Hospital, a new institution in our city. Heading the staff of house