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Page 19 text:
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GRADUATION NUMBER Class Statistics Gordon Marston Hear ye ! Hear ye ! All those who wish to enter the sacred sanctum of the mi hty oracle of statistics will be grant- ed an audience. Searching through the records of the statistics the all know- ing one gave me the following reports. He said that these statistics were not compiled with any injurious intent, but rather in a mirth provoking spirit. All senior mentioned herein are kindly re- quested not to feel hurt. The class total height is 500 feet which would feed 427 hungry dogs if a string of frankfurts were placed end to end for the entire 500 feet. Barnum’s 14 best elephants only weigh two and one-quarter pounds more than the total weight of our class which is 17,442 pounds. The total age of the class equals 1,620 years which accounts for the swanky beards and trim moustaches that some of the senior boys wear, es- pecially Mr. Arthur Theroux. Now, on with the bad news! Favorite outdoor sport — Football. Favorite indoor sport — Basketball and parlor rugby. Favorite recreation — Dancing. Favorite poem — Face on the Bar-room Floor. Class midget — Shrimp Crandall. CTass giant — E. Rice. Class sheik — Art Theroux. Class spendthrift — Tuska Donegan. Class reporter — Edgar Martin. Class radio station, broadcasting all the time — Jane Clark. Class stage-star — Bob Sheehan. Class egoists — Juniors. Class star student — Bill French. Class smoke stack — George Du§hane. Class most popular girl — M. Hanly. Class most popular boy — Nemo Downes. Class best looking boy — Laurie Buck. Class best looking girl — Mina Gray. Class best dancer, girl — Doris Hunt. Class best dancer, boy — Arthur The- roux. Class athletic girl — Mina Gray. Class athletic boy — Red Marston. Class infant — Emily Ritchie. Class musician — “Tootin’ ” Bill Lister. Class hard luck girl — Ethel Hume. Class typist — Mary Bennett. Class artist model — Mil Thayer. Class sheba — Lulu Wilkins. Class ladies’ man — F. Leo Corcoran, Esq. Class strong man — Stucco of the Ro- tondis. Class pianist — Dora Sheridan. Class woman hater — Bernard Comer. Class pugilist — Marshmallow Halpin. Class grandpa — Johnny Morrison. Class motto — “Find a way or make one.” Class motto for class of ’31 — “A bark- ing dog never bites.” Class fiancee — Dot Downes. Class grandma — Kay Hamill. Class favorite subject — Lunch. Class favorite expression — Aint that sumpin’. Class loud speaker — Paul Messier. Class clown — Carl Junkins. Class romeo — Doc Gordon. Class sentence — Four years in House of Education. Class school girl — Miss Poland. Class tramp — C. Newman. Class flirt — Doris Hunt. Class sensation — Fran Yancey. Class man-hater — Marjorie Markham. Class soap box orator — Nemo Downes. Class icicle — Dot Tidd. Class usher — Andy May. Class cave man — Albert Meek. Class Boy Scout — Sumner Thompson. Class most bashful girl — Bertha Wes- sel. Class marathoner — Gene Brackley. Class momma’s boy — Cal Thornburg. Class cowboy, always ridin’ somebody — The Earle of Thibodeau. Class milkman — Ralph Cameron. Class romeo — Gordon Pettengill. Class mystery — Hazel Warren. Class best natured — Ruth Newcomb. Class hopeful — Marion Lovering. Class sophisticate — Phil Potter. Class old fashioned — Elizabeth Wliitcher. Class dietitian — Elizabeth Warren. Class most faithful — Evelyn Clark. Class missionary — Ruth Sutherland. Class Soeony agent — Ken Pierce. Class auntie — Marjorie Pickhardt. Class biology exi3ert — Richard Davis. Class Siamese twins — A. L. Holts- berg. Class cradle-snatcher — Mary Ferguson. Class bee catcher — Alonzo Card. Class representative — Lemuel Stan- di sh. [ 17 ]
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Page 18 text:
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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC height, 6 ft.; weight, 145 lbs.; age, 17; activities, hockey 1, 2; cross country 1, 2 ; captain 3. Pickens, Anna; nickname. Squeak; age, 16; weight, 113 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 3% in. Pickhardt, Marjorie; nickname. Midge; ;age, 18; height, 5 ft. 4 in. weight, 115 lbs.; activities. Winter Car- nival 2, 3. Potter, Phyllis; nickname, Phil; age, 17; height, 5 ft. 1 in.; weight, 105 lbs.; activities, chairman Social committee 2, 3; Treasurer 2; Senior Play committee; Senior Banquet committee ; chairman Supper committee 2, 3 ; A. A. night 3 ; Graduation committee ; chairman Deco- ration committee ; class will ; Authentic staff; glee club 1, 2; head usher senior play; usher at graduation; A. A. thg se ' ller. Rice, Elmer; nickname, Al; age, 18; activities, baseball 1, 3; football 1; hoc- key 3. Ringland, Harold; nickname. Hack; age, 16; weight, 140 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 6 in.; activities, football 3; carnival 3. Roach, James ; nickname, Pat ; age, 19; weight, 140 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 8 in.; activities, hockey 1, 3. Roach, Thomas; nickname. Tommy; age, 18; weight, 140 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 6 in.; activities, class baseball 2, 3. Sheehan, Robert M.; nickname, Dipe ; age, 18; height, 5 ft. 9 in.; weight, 136 lbs.; activities, senior play 3; operetta 2; football 2; hockey 2, 3; Class Ring committee; Carnival committee 3; Sen- ior Banquet committee. Sheridan, Dora Eleanor; nickname, Dode; age, 17; height, 5 ft. 4 in.; ac- tivities, senior play 3 ; operetta 2 ; foot- ball 2; hockey 2, 3; Class Ring commit- tee ; Carnival committee 3 ; Senior Ban- quet committee. Sheridan, Dora Eleanor; nickname, Dode; age, 17; height, 5 ft. 4 in.; ac- tivities, operetta 1 ; orchestra 1, 2, 3 ; Authentic 3. Sherman, Albert; nickname, Al; age, 18 ; activities, soccer ; class basketball 3 ; class basketball 2, 3. Sutherland, Ruth ; nickname, Ruthie ; age, 18; height, 5 ft. 3 in.; weight, 101. Thayer, Mildred; nickname, Millie; age, 18; height, 5 ft. 2 in.; weight 122. Thompson, Sumner P.; height, 5 ft. 10 in.; weight, 148 lbs.; activities, cross country 2, 3; Rifle club 2, 3, President 3 ; orchestra 1, 2. Thornburg, Calvin Russell; nickname. Cal; age, 18. Tidd, Dorothy; nickname. Dot; age, 19; weight, 127 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 5 in.; activities, field hockey 1, 2, 3 ; class bas- ketball 1, 2, 3 ; senior play 3 ; operetta 1 ; Carnival committee 3 ; Social com- mittee 1, 2. Tole, Arthur; nickname Art; age, 16; weight, 130 lbs. ; height, 5 ft. 5 in. Walker, Clnre; age, 18; weight, 115 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 3 in.; activities. Au- thentic staff 3 ; Secretary A. A. 3 ; traf- fic squad 3 ; Carnival Ticket committee 2, 3 ; senior play 3 ; class basketball 1, 2, 3; class field hockey 1, 2; glee club 2. Warren, Elizabeth; nickname, Liz; age, 18; height, 5 ft. 1 in.; weight, 145. Warren, Hazel; nickname. Kid; age, 17; height, 5 ft. 4 in.; weight, 126 lbs.; activities, Spanish play 1; operetta 2; rdass basketball 1, 2, 3; class field hoc- key 1, 2. Wessell, Bertha; nickname, Bert; age, 17; height, 5 ft. 4 in.; weight, 120 lbs.; basketlDall 1, 2, 3; field hockey 1, 2, 3 ; operetta 1. Whitcher, Elizabeth ; nickname, Bet- ty; age, 18; height, 5 ft. 2 in.; weight, 115 lbs. White, Craige ; nickname, Cregie ; age, 17; weight, 158 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 9 in.; activities. Rifle club 1, 2, 3 ; cross coun- try 3. Wood, Edward Lemuel; nickname, Ed; age, 17; weight, 122 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 8 in. Yancey, Pranqis; nickname, Tagicr, Badmans; age, 16; weight, 159 lbs.; height, 5 ft. 11 in.; art editor of the Authentic ; basketball 1, 2, 3 ; cross country 1, 2, 3 ; Carnival ball 1, 3 ; senior play publicity agent 3. Young, Lester; nir-knames, Les, Youngie; age, 18; vCb iit, 163 ll)s. ; height, 5 ft. 8 in.; activities, cross country 1, 2, 3 ; class basketball 1, 2, 3 ; Carnival committee 3. Wilkins, Marion Lula; nickname, Lu; age, 18; height 5 ft. 4 in.; weight, 129 lbs.; activities, glee club; Publicity committee ; Authentic staff. Standish, Whitney; nickname, Whit; height, 5 ft. 8 in.; weight, 145 lbs.; age, 18; activities, Rifle team 1, 2, captain 3; Authentic staff 3; Carnival Poster com- mittee 3. Old Lady: You say you were the only survivor of twelve shipwrecked sailors and that all you ate for a week was your shoes. How is it you’re alive when all the rest died? Old Salt: Well, you see, lady, I wore bigger size shoes.
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Page 20 text:
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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC Class sea captain — Edwin Grundberg. Class string bean — Arthur Knopp. Class errand boy — Fred D’Entremont. Class student — Ed Bugbee. Class grind — Edward Wood. Class best natured boy — Lawrence Buck. Class “Babe Kuth — Elmer Kice. Class lucky boy — Dipe Sheehan. Class fat man — Tubber Clark. Class newsboj — Craige White. Class soldier boy — E. C. Brown. Class wise guy — Fred Brouillard. Class cop — Thomas Koach. Class grocery magnate — John Eoach. Class politician — James Casey. Class baby face — Harold Eingland. Class traveling salesman — Bob John- son. Class fireman — Sidney Ervin. Nymph — Myrtle Morrison. Class good example — Miss Clare Walk- er. Class sharp shooter — LeEoy Card. Class riding master — Albert Sherman. Class radio expert — Leonard Ander- son. Class iron woman — Pauline Devlin. Class vegetarian — John Driscoll. Class sewing circle president — Eloise Frost. Class optimist — Charles Grafton. Class pretzel — Ealph Jenkins. Class florist — Lester Young. Class big boy — Arthur Tole. Class study — The Opposite Sex Class reward — That long sought di- ploma. Class math shark, boy — C. Davis. Class math shark, girls — Clare Walk- er. Class topic — How many points have you got? Cutie: My little brother will tell if he sees you kiss me. Eudy: But Ihn not kissing you. Cutie : Anyhow, I thought IM tell you. Gazonda: Did the audience show any feeling when she sang? Gazoof: Yes, about half of them be- gan feeling under the seats for their hats. Pearl : So he makes piles of dough every day? Merle : Yeah, he stacks cookies in a bakery. Ella Vator: My husband spends all his spare time reading detective stories. Eddie Torial: What a crime! AS OTHERS SEE US New Hampton Monitor, New Hamp- ton School — Your magazine is very in- teresting, especially your athletic write- up. Johnson Journal, Johnson High School, N. Andover — We admire your exchange department for it is very well written. School Life, Melrose High School — • Again we find jmu amidst our mail, this time with a most unique cover design. You certainly have a fine joke depart- ment. Tiltonian, Tilton School, Tilton, N. H. — The Authentic is an exceptionally “smooth’’ mag. Words can’t express our admiration of your journal. Could we suggest color for your cover as an attraction ? Advance, Salem High School — How realistic “The Dreamer.” Your liter- ai ' y column is excellent and the edi- torials splendid. There is an abundance of laughs in your lengthy joke column. The Hamiltonian, Hamilton High School — You have an excellent athletic department but you could add more to your literary department. The cover design on the Junior Eoll Call number is very clever. Aegis, Beverly High School — Your magazine is complete in every depart- ment and deserves much praise. High School Radiator, ' Somerville High School — Congratulations, Senior Class, on such an excellent paper. Your athletics are very interesting. We got a great laugh out of the Junior Roll Call. Even tliough we know none of the pupils it was fascinating to read about them. A Few Definitions Weinic — Midget bologna with an in- feriority complex. Pretzel — Obsolete twist. Flapper — Song and dense girl. Spinster — One who leads a matchless existence. Vegetable soup — Liquid hash. Phrenologist — A man who can tell you everything in a nutshell. Home — A place where the bill collec- tor never expects to find anyone in. Poet — Somebody who writes beautiful thoughts about falling leaves or snow while the rest of us are raking or shov- eling. [ 18 ]
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