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Page 31 text:
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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC Why We Flunk? Georgia was settled by people who had been executed. In 1620, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean. This is known as Pilgrim’s Progress. The reason Taft was not elected in 1912, was that the Republican party separated him. Lord Raleigh was the first man to see the invisible armada. Benjamin Franklin discovered elec- tricity by rubbing cat’s backs Andrew Jackson was called ‘‘Old Hickory” because when he was a young boy he was a little tough. There were no Christians among the early Gauls. They were mostly law- yers. Horsepower is the distance a horse can carry a pound of water in an hour. Longitude and latitude are imagina- ry lines on the earth’s surface which way you are going. A vacuum is a large empty space in which the Pope lives. Edward III would have been King of France if his mother had been a man. In order to halt the soldier places the foot which is on the ground beside the one which is in the air and remains stationary. Some people think a “blooming idiot” is a large flower. “Ah!” cried the mattress, bouncing joyously up and down, “Spring is here.” 1926 No jokes, no news, spring fever prev- alent, favorite recreation is establish- ing long distance sleep records in «?tudy periods. The present record is not official, since it was made in class. The only exam in which we would re- ceive A would be one of one question : “How many more daj s of school?” Some things we’ll miss next year: The Seniors. (?) The old gang in Room 12. The Junior members of the Physics Class. 1927 One of the girls, reading from “Caesar in Gaul: “I will take poison, according to my custom.” Bells are seldom silent, Mary is no exception. E. Parks, translating a story about a stick beating a little boy: “Au point qu’il lui follut rester trois jours au lit: So hard that he could not sit down for three weeks.” Heard at Field Hockey Hike, which proves that P. Henderson pays atten- tion in Science, although it may always appear so. “Grace, will you first class lever with me?” (Teeter.) Pretty soon Mr. Green will have to get a larger room if he has so many young ladies coming in after school. In 4th English I, he will soon have on- ly to read the names of those that do not have to report at 1.30. Oppen: “I’ve heard of people going to the crazy house for studying too much.” Teacher: “Never mind, Oppen, you’ll never get there.” Mr. Green: “Give some uses of com- mas. Munger: “Used with words like ap- ples, oranges, bananas, peaches, etc.” Mr. Green: “What do you call them?” Munger : “Fruit.” We wonder: If Frances Smith passed in Algebra, whether Frank Wood (would.) Add two and two whether we would have to show Walter Howe (how.) 1928 Miss Thompson (in Latin) : “Which of the three conditions is this sentence in?” Kelly: “Bad condition.” Mr. Gowen : “Name two kinds of banks.” V. Chesley: “National and Sand.” Miss Fanning: “What did we have for today?” Kelly: “Diet of Worms.” 25
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Page 32 text:
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THE STONEHAM HIGH SCHOOL AUTHENTIC ' tsolniionz |3kg Time : Any week-day evening. Place: Torp’s and Darg’s bedroom. A liberal supply of papers and books a- dorn the table, and our heroes are laboring manfully to transfer the know- ledge contained there to a more approv- ed resting-place. Torp: (after several minutes of laborious study) Sa-a-ay, Da rg? Darg: (absently) Yes, dear? Torp: Well, don’t think you’re funny. You’re not. Darg: All right, dear. I’m listening. Torp: Darg, I-Ive been thinking may- be I sort of ought to study a little more. You know I didn’t get very good marks last term. Darg: (following up very exciting un- known quantity) Uh-huh. Torp: I thought maybe if I- Darg: (becoming a little interested) Don’t feel sick anywhere do you? Torp: Maj be if I- Darg: I couldn’t be sure without ask- ing, you know. Torp: (with a rush) I thought maybe if I studied a little more, maybe it’d sort of pull everything up a little. Darg: (soothingly) There, there, dear, you’ll get over it after awhile. Ten minutes of deep silence ensue, broken only by the ticking of the clock. Torp: Say, Darg, what’s damns mean? Darg: I dunno. Same’s the Eng- lish, I guess. Torp: (By degrees slipping further down in his chair) Why the deuce can’t they put stuff where a feller’ll find it? Darg: Steady, steadj ' , Torp. Torp: (From depths below) Well, goodnight, if you had to study this stuff, you’d blow up. (No response.) Say I can’t make anything out of this jumble. Why can’t they make books with more notes in ’em? Darg: 6 y times — Torp : (Aiming book at nearest chair) Oh, what’s the use? I’m going to bed. This stuff can go hang. Darg: I knew you’d get over it after a while, old boy. Sweet dreams. ’ 25 . The Class of 1925 take this opportunity to thank all those who have made their year so successful and The Authentic a credit to the school :: :: :: 26
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